Brad Tassell [e-mail] www.dontfeedthebully.com

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Brad Tassellllessat_at_aol.comwww.dontfeedthebully.
com
Dont Feed the Bully

• Educator tips for stopping bullying

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Motivational Moment

• We have discovered that social and emotional
  skill building goes hand in hand with learning.
• Esther Schwartz principal PS 32 The Bronx
• When teachers take the time to establish
  trusting relationships with their students, it
  can make a world of difference.
• Human Development, Freiberg 2011

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Frightening Facts

• Teachers only intervene 14 of the time when
  bullying takes place in school.
• Only 4 when bullying happens on the playground.
  (Craig and Pepler 2000)

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Who Were the Bullies?

• Lessons from Columbine

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Lessons from Columbine10 year study, Jeff
Daniels, counseling psychologist, West Virginia
University
Schools that have minimized violence, foiled
attacks, lessened bullying have

• An informal, respectful contact between staff
  and students.
• You go into these schools and in the cafeteria
  almost every table has a teacher interacting with
  the students and actually visiting with them.
  Daniels
• Assured students they could turn to an adult if
  danger surfaced, without being a traitor.

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Lessons from Columbine10 year study, Jeff
Daniels, counseling psychologist, West Virginia
University
Schools that have minimized violence, foiled
attacks, lessened bullying have

• Assemblies emphasized the difference between
  snitching and getting help.
• Staff took rumors seriously.
• There were anti-bullying programs with staff.

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Teacher Awareness

• Quick and simple steps to quell the bully tide

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Dont Be a Bully Yourself!

• Some kids will rub you the wrong way.
• Understand how to make fun.
• Labeling can cause Trickle Down Effect. (Dubin,
  2010)

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Keep an Ally on Hand!

• Try not to meet with parents alone.
• Keep an eye on each other.
• Always step in to stop defensiveness.
• Good to have a witness.
• Pre-service teacher tip!

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Dont Give Them Your Bias!

• Mouse Story
• Handys lesson

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Teach Tolerance!

• Incorporate tolerance themes into existing lesson
  plans.
• If you are teaching reading or history, you can
  use books with fictional characters or real
  community leaders who have diverse backgrounds,
  ethnicities, and cultures.

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• For example, Tassell's novel for middle school
  kids, Don't Feed the Bully, tells the story of a
  child who challenges mean kids at his school.
  Role-playing activities based on this or other
  books give students a chance to process, prepare,
  and practice how to handle different situations.
  (Bullies Be Gone, Mannion)

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Watch for mixed messages

• Books for varied ages
• My Secret Bully, Trudy Ludwig (ages 4-8)
• Stick, Stones, and Stumped! Deb Landry (ages 4-8)
• The Playground King, Phyllis Reynolds Taylor
  (ages 4-8)
• Clicks, Phonies, and other Baloney, Trevor Romain
  (ages 9-11)
• Stick up for Yourself, Gershen Kaufman, others,
  (teen)

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Follow the Protocol!

• Have protocol in place.
• Make it clear the steps that will be taken.
• Keep consistent.

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Consistent, Consistent, Consistent!

• The double standard lives!
• Be ultra flexible.
• You still have to work case by case basis.
• Try not to create popularity contests.

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Fair is Not Treating Everyone the Same!

• Know the kids.
• Each student can have different rules.

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Tattle Tame!

• Have a mechanism for reporting.
• Do what you said you would do.

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Be Observant!

• Bullying often occurs in covert ways.
• Keeping a written record of students verbal and
  body language can help teachers recognize subtle
  cues. Describing and naming what you see enhances
  your ability to notice negativity and disrespect.
  
• Once you hear of a problem become a private eye.
• Become more of a presence in their lives out side
  of class.

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Talk it out in Class

• Group teaching creates a group mindset that
  creates a culture of caring.
• 84 of students are more empathetic to the
  victim, but because of peer pressure, they will
  be more supportive of the bullying.
• Create an honor code have them sign it, and the
  parents too!
• Try and set up a lesson on talking about the
  ways we are all different.
• Aspergers
• Autism
• ADHD
• OCD
• ETC.

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Help Starve a Bully!

• Assisting victims of bullying

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Assist Victims of Bullying?

• 1. Take victims of bullying seriously.
• They may be very upset and not show it.
• When you let bullying go, you reinforce that it
  is okay.
• Bullying situations are not appropriate for
  mediation sessions, where youth work things out
  themselves.
• Interview bystanders if the bullying happened in
  public. Talk about bystanders helping!

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Assist Victims of Bullying?

• 2. Help victims of bullying communicate with
  others and seek additional help.
• Encourage them to talk to their parents, and
  offer to help them do it.
• Be aware the parents may be part of the problem!
• If you believe there is real danger. Get help!
  Counselor. Authorities.

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Assist Victims of Bullying?

• 3. Help victims develop coping strategies, but be
  sure they know it is not their fault for being
  bullied, even if these dont work
• Use the buddy system. Make Class responsible for
  every ones safety.
• What does Dont Feed the Bully mean in their
  situation?
• All violence gets reported!
• Be alert and remember details.
• When bullying goes unchecked, the victim becomes
  terrorized.

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Assist victims of bullying?

• 4. Recognize some of the red flags that a child
  may be a victim of bullying
• Frequent absences
• Avoidance of peers
• Nervousness
• Unexplained anger and resentment
• Feeling sick to avoid things
• Avoidance of group restrooms
• Cuts and bruises

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The Cure Shouldnt Kill You!

• Redirecting Bullies

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Redirect Students who Bully Others!

• 1. Stop bullying immediately.
• Intervene immediately so that it does not
  escalate.
• Identify specific behavior you observed, and
  emphasize that the bullying behavior is
  unacceptable.
• Take it private! But do it now! Move bullying
  student to a location to speak away from other
  students. Consider a Chill Room, for ASD and
  other students with social disorders. (dubin,
  2010)

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Redirect Students who Bully Others!

• 2. Hold students who have bullied others
  accountable for their actions.
• Stress that the behavior is not acceptable, and
  that they are fully responsible for their
  choices, and they will be held accountable after
  the fact.
• Calmly impose consequences for bullying behavior,
  while communicating that you value the student,
  but they must stop behaving aggressively.
• Encourage apologies, but do not set up a
  mediation session as this could be intimidating
  for victims.
• Consider bully mentoring.

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Redirect Students who Bully Others!

• 3. Avoid labeling bullies
• when addressing students who have engaged in
  bullying behaviors directly.
• when referring to them while speaking to their
  parents and others.
• Talk about the specific unacceptable behaviors
  instead.

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Redirect Students who Bully Others!

• 4. Notice appropriate behavior.
• Youth who are trying to change for the better
  often continue to receive feedback only about
  their negative behavior.
• Dont be tempted to negate compliments by
  saying, Why cant you always behave this way?
• The lesson of Zach and Jack!

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Redirect Students who Bully Others!

• 5. Help the students discover replacement
  behaviors to engage in instead of bullying.
• Give the students leadership roles, and provide
  immediate feedback about what they do well.
• Tell students what you want them to do, not what
  you dont want.
• Encourage students to use their influence in
  positive ways.

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Redirect Students who Bully Others!

• 6. Help students who bully develop empathy.
• Encourage participation in service activities
  that foster empathy for people who are different
  from them. (Have them read Dont Feed the Bully.
  ?)
• Discuss the feelings of characters being bullied
  in movie clips.

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Starve a Bully, Feed an Ego!

• Making it work

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Making it Work!Safe Responsible Schools, 3rd
edition

• Effective programs have two key prerequisites
• Awareness
• Adult involvement
• You must know the extent of bullying/victims,
  plus all adults need a firm commitment to
  stopping it.

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Making it Work!Safe Responsible Schools, 3rd
edition

• Three steps to a safer school
• Coordination
• Creating Awareness
• Ongoing implementation Evaluation

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Making it Work!Safe Responsible Schools, 3rd
edition

• Coordination
• Majority of prevention programs recommend a
  committee at school level.
• A coordinator for activities and curriculum.
• Assess the extent of problem typically using
  questionnaires.
• (Suggestion Coordinator is school counselor who
  is in keeps record of all data and bullying
  situations.)

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Making it Work!Safe Responsible Schools, 3rd
edition

• Creating Awareness
• Staff programs on bullying and prevention.
• A school-wide policy regarding bullying.
• Clear expectations of staff and students
  presented.
• Follow up sessions throughout the year.
• Middle elementary use of buttons, posters, art
  projects, reading in the classroom. (Schools
  have done some wonderful and fun plays from Dont
  Feed the Bully.)

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Making it Work!Safe Responsible Schools, 3rd
edition

• Ongoing Implementation Evaluation
• Questionnaires
• Surveys
• Checklists
• Interviews
• Track all incidents of bullying
• Monitor each situation ongoing

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Making it Work!Safe Responsible Schools, 3rd
edition

• Examples
• Peer Nomination Inventory
• Bullying survey
• Create an honor code
• Explains what bullying is.
• Explains what will be done when it happens.
• Explains to parents policy and steps.
• Create/Students take oath.
• Parents and Students all sign.
• Post Bully-Free Declaration all over school.

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Making it Work!Safe Responsible Schools, 3rd
edition

• Sample Bully Free Declaration from Asperger
  Syndrome and Bullying by Nick Dubin. (I chanced
  it a little. ?)
• We the students, teachers, and parents of
  ____school, declare that all members of the
  community are valuable citizens. We affirm that
  no student will ever be teased or bullied with an
  intention to cause harm. We agree that students
  who choose to act contrary to this policy should
  be subjected to consequences for their actions.
  It is important to stand up for the people who
  have been bullied and to let those who bully know
  that what he or she is doing is unacceptable. It
  is in the ____ tradition that we affirm these
  principles of inclusion and acceptance for every
  student, teacher, or member of our community.
• Sample contract for parents on first day of
  school.
• Dear Parents and/or legal guardians,
• Please read and review the bully free
  declaration with your child. Below you will see
  a contract that we are asking students and
  parents to sign. Discuss the contract and the
  importance of bullying prevention with your son
  or daughter before he or she returns to school
  with signed contract tomorrow.
• I___ agree that I will abide by the principles
  and policies set forth in the Bully-Free
  Declaration. If I dont abide by then, I agree to
  accept the consequences for my actions.

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Who wants to hang out?

• PTO/PTA parents, grandparents
• Lunch room
• Playground
• Classroom
• Hallway
• Be clear as to why they are there

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The Predators Web

• Cyber Bullies

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What Is Cyberbullying?

• Cyberbullying is the use of electronic
  communications such as the Internet to harass,
  threaten, and harm others.

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What tactics are used by those who cyberbully?

• Dissing or Flaming spreading damaging
  gossip
• Harassment repeatedly sending or forwarding
  hateful messages posting pictures of victims
  without their consent
• Impersonation Pretending to be someone else
  online and posting damaging information, or
  tricking someone else into revealing personal
  information

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What misconceptions do those engaging in
cyberbullying often have?

• Cyberbullying is not a big deal no one really
  gets hurt.
• My friends think its funny, so its OK.
• Theres no way I can get caught.

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What can students do to prevent cyberbullying?

• If you wouldnt say it in person, dont say it
  online. Be kind online.
• Refuse to forward cyberbullying messages delete
  them instead.
• Tell friends to stop cyberbullying.
• Block communication with those who cyberbully.
• Stay away from sites that tolerate and encourage
  bullying.
• Report cyberbullying to a trusted adult.  

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What should students do if they are victims of
cyberbullying?

• Never try to seek revenge.
• Calmly ask for the cyberbullying to stop.
• Tell the person that you will take other steps
  will be taken if the cyberbullying does not stop.
• Tell a parent or guardian, forward and save all
  messages.

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What teachers can do to help stop cyberbullying?

• Enforce school bans on texting, phones, and
  school internet.
• Let victims know they are not to blame.
• Understand they may be afraid to tell their
  parents, but encourage them to do so, or offer to
  talk to their parents with them.

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What teachers can do to help stop cyberbullying?

• Encourage them to block messages, delete messages
  without reading them. Always have all messages
  forwarded to parents and authorities.
• Report incidents to Internet service providers.
• If threats are made, police should be notified.
• Digital drivers license. (Constant, 2011)

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What teachers can do to help stop cyberbullying?
(cont.)

• Have contact and numbers for all social
  networking sites. Facebook 650-543-4800     
• Have a school contact on each site and encourage
  students to add school as friend.
• Be knowledgeable on current laws regarding
  freedom of speech.
• Just because it bugs you doesnt mean they cant
  do it.
• Save copies of all texts, emails, pictures, etc.

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Reference books

• Dont Feed the Bully, Brad Tassell
• Aspergers and Bullying, Nick Dubin
• Lost at School, Ross W. Greene
• Teachers Survival Guide, Julia Roberts and Julie
  Roberts Boggess

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Questions? Comments?
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Resources

• www.turnarounduse.org
• www.inspiringteachers.com
• www.stopcyberbullying.org
• http//www.community-matters.org/safe-school-ambas
  sadors/
• www.digitalcitizenship.net
• http//www.usatoday.com/news/education/2009-04-13-
  columbine-lessons_N.htm
• http//www.usatoday.com/news/education/2009-04-13-
  columbine-effects-schools_N.htm