Attention Seeking Misbehavior

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Attention Seeking Misbehavior

• Presented by Stacy Marler, Counselor
• April Lee, Counseling Intern, MTSU
• Sunset Elementary School

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Purpose of Misbehavior

• Attention
• Power
• Revenge
• Inadequacy

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Attention-Seeking

• Indicators
• Parents feel irritated or annoyed by the
  behaviors.
• Children temporarily stop the behavior when asked
  to do so.
• Behaviors are repeated frequently.
• If parents feel anything other than irritation,
  the purpose may not be attention.

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Two Types of Attention-Seeking Misbehaviors

• Active
• The purpose is to be recognized
• Disregarding the behavior teaches children that
  they do not need to be responsible for their
  actions.
• What you permit, you promote!

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Two Types of Attention-Seeking Misbehaviors,
contd.

• 2. Passive
• Often go unnoticed
• These children learn to survive by manipulating
  their parents and other adults and never admit to
  themselves or anyone else the purpose of the
  behavior.

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Common Active Attention-Seeking Misbehaviors

• Showing off
• Pushing limits
• Giving up easily
• Asking too many questions

• Bedevilment
• Keeping busy
• Chatty Cathy
• See Handout

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Common Passive Attention-Seeking Misbehaviors

• Laziness
• Dependency
• Lack of energy
• Shyness
• See Handout

• Fearfulness
• Self-indulgence
• Clinginess
• Cute factor

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Common Remediation Techniques

• A. Give positive attention.
• Children must learn that they can receive as much
  attention from positive behaviors as negative
  ones.
• Parents must recognize and support positive
  behaviors.
• The more positive attention they receive, the
  less they will need the negative (and the
  behavior pattern will change).

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Common Remediation Techniques, contd.

• B. Ignore behavior if it will not harm the child
  or someone else.
• Ignoring means not looking at or talking to them
  in any way during the misbehavior.
• This is effective because children receive no
  gratification for their misbehavior.
• Note that the behaviors may worsen when the
  parent begins ignoring, but if parents persist,
  the child must then find other ways of getting
  parents attention.

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Common Remediation Techniques, contd.

• C. Do the unexpected.
• Children learn what reactions to expect from
  their parentschange it up!
• If children are used to being told three times
  before doing something, begin telling them once
  then taking action.
• When parents behavior changes, then childrens
  behavior changes.

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Common Remediation Techniques, contd.

• D. Contracts work well because children want a
  relationship with their parents.
• Guidelines
• Only consider issues over which the children have
  some control.
• Negotiate the terms of the contract together.
• Be realistic in expectations.
• Establish a time period for the contract and
  periodically evaluate its progress.

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Common Remediation Techniques, contd.

• E. Consequences
• Logical consequences set up meaningful actions
  for a misbehavior.
• Consequences indicate the children are accepted,
  but not their behavior.
• The major difference between a consequence and
  punishment is that a consequence is not given in
  anger or judgment and is always related to the
  act.

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Resources

• How to Behave So Your Children Will Too! By Sal
  Severe
• Making Children Mind Without Losing Yours By
  Kevin Leman

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Thanks for Coming