Acquaintance Rape

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Acquaintance Rape
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• What is Acquaintance Rape?

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Types of Sexual Violence

• Sexual Harassment
• Sexual Assault
• Acquaintance Rape (Date Rape)
• Stranger Rape

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Sexual Harassment

• Unwanted verbal attention or physical contact
• Motivated by victims gender or sexual
  orientation
• Unwanted attention or contact occurs regularly
  and interferes with a persons ability to work,
  study, or otherwise live life as s/he wishes

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Sexual Assault

• Unwanted sexual contact, or contact without
  consent
• May not involve sexual intercourse
• Most commonly occurs between people who know each
  other
• Mild force or verbal coercion often is often
  involved

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Acquaintance Rape/Date Rape

• Unwanted sexual intercourse or
• Intercourse in which the victim does not give
  consent
• Or cannot give consent (e.g. due to intoxication)
• Occurs between people who know each other
• Mild force or verbal coercion often involved
• Men can be victims too

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Stranger Rape

• Same as acquaintance rape except that the
  victim/survivor does not know the perpetrator
• ¼ as common as acquaintance rape

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The Facts

• FBI statistics indicate that 1 out of 3 women and
  1 out of 10 men will be sexually assaulted during
  their life time
• Rape crisis centers report that 60-80 of victims
  they assist have been assaulted by someone they
  know
• 9 in 10 date rapes are not reported

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The Facts

• 1 in 12 college men admit to acts that meet legal
  definitions of rape. Yet few of these men
  identify themselves as rapists.
• Date rapes tend to take place on the 2nd or 3rd
  date, since many women tend to be more on guard
  on 1st dates

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The Facts

• Most date rapes take place in the residence of
  the attacker or the victim
• About 75 of the men and at least 55 of the
  women involved in date rapes had been drinking or
  using drugs right before the attack

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He said/ She said

• Following is an example scenario from
• both a woman and a mans point of
• view.

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He Said

• I first met her at a party. She looked
• really hot, wearing a very short skirt
• with a tight T-shirt that showed off her
• great body. We started talking right
• away. I knew that she liked me by the
• way she was speaking. She seemed pretty
• relaxed so I asked her back to my place for a
• drink when she said yes, I knew that I was
• going to get lucky!

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He said

• When we got to my place, we sat on the
• bed kissing. At first, everything was
• great. Then when I started to lay her
• down on the bed, she started twisting
• and saying she didnt want to. Most
• girls dont like to appear too easy so I
• knew she was just going through the
• motions. When she stopped struggling
• I knew she would have to throw in some tears
• before we did it.

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He said

• She was still very upset afterwards and
• I just dont understand it! If she didnt
• want to have sex, why did she come
• back to my room with me? You could
• tell by the way she dressed and acted
• that she was no virgin, so why she had
• to put up such a big struggle, I dont
• know

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She said

• I first met him at a party. He was really good
• looking and had a great smile. I wanted to
• meet him but wasnt sure how. I didnt want
• to appear too forward. Then he came over
• and introduced himself. We talked and found
• we had a lot in common. I really liked him.
• When he asked me over to his place for a
• drink I thought it would be OK. He was such a
• good listener, and I wanted him to ask me out
• again.

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She said

• When we got to his room, the only place to sit
• was his bed. I didnt want him to get the wrong
• idea but what else could I do? We talked for a
• while, and then he made his move. I was so
• startled. He started by kissing. I really liked
  him
• so the kissing was nice. But then he pushed me
• down on the bed. I tried to get up and I told him
• to stop. He was so much bigger and stronger. I
• got scared and I started to cry. I froze and he
• raped me.

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She said

• It took only a couple of minutes and it was
• terrible, he was so rough. When it was
• over, he kept asking me what was wrong
• like he didnt know. He had just forced
• himself on me and he thought that was
• OK. He drove me home and said he
• wanted to see me again. Im afraid to see
• him. I never thought it would happen to
• me

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He Said/She Said

• What happened??!

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What happened?

• He thought she wanted to have sex and that she
  really didnt mean no.
• There was alcohol involved
• She didnt want to have sex but was afraid to be
  more assertive with him

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What happened?/cont.

• He fell into old stereotypes concerning women and
  sex
• No communication about intentions or limit
  setting by either party
• He had unrealistic expectations about her
  non-verbal behavior

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• Why are college students so
• vulnerable?

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Why are college students most vulnerable?

• Men and women may be living together for the
  first time
• A lot of pressure on both sexes to perform and
  conform to stereotypical behaviors
• Men are taught to be the aggressors and to score
  and conquer
• Women taught to be more passive and coy

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College students/(cont.)

• Both sexes may be confused about what they want
  sexually
• May feel pressure to have sex when they come to
  college
• But may not really want to and have difficulty
  expressing that
• A lot of unrealistic expectations put on a dating
  partner

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College Students/ (cont.)

• We are not taught how to express our sexual wants
  and needs to the opposite sex
• Often results in a guessing game
• Alcohol/drugs alter ones ability to make sound
  decisions, cloud thinking, assess risk, and
  increase aggression

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Prevention/ Men

• Listen carefully take time to hear what the
  woman is saying.
• If youre unsure about her intentions or getting
  mixed messages, ask for clarification
• Dont fall into the common stereotype that when a
  woman says no she really means yes
• No means no. If a woman says no to sexual
  contact, believe her and stop
• If you dont, this is rape.

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Prevention/Men

• Dont make assumptions about a womans behavior
• Dont assume she wants to have sex because she
  dressed provocatively, is drunk, or agrees to go
  to your room
• Dont assume that because a woman had sex with
  you before means that she wants to have sex with
  you again

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Prevention/Men

• Be aware that by having sex with someone who is
  unable to give consent (passed out, drugged,
  intoxicated), you may be guilty of rape

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Prevention/Men

• Be extra careful in group situations.
• Be prepared to resist pressure from friends to
  participate in violent or criminal acts
• Be extra careful in situations involving alcohol
  or drugs
• Interferes with your ability to assess a
  situation, clouds your thinking, and prevents you
  from communicating effectively

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Prevention/Men

• Get involved
• If you see a woman at a party or a male friend
  using force or pressuring a woman, dont be
  afraid to intervene
• You may prevent a sexual assault from happening

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Prevention/ Women

• Know your sexual intentions and limits.
• You have the right to say no to any unwanted
  sexual contact
• Tell your partner what you want and what you
  dont want
• If you are uncertain about what you want, ask the
  man to respect your feelings

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Prevention/ Women

• Communicate these limits firmly and directly.
• If you say no, say it like you mean it
• Dont give mixed messages
• Back your words up with a firm tone of voice and
  clear body language
• Make sure your non-verbal messages are consistent
  with your verbal messages

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Prevention/ Women

• Dont rely on ESP to get your message across.
• Dont assume your date will automatically know
  how you feel or will eventually get the message
• It is your responsibility to communicate that
  message

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Prevention/ Women

• Remember that assertive and clear communication
  may not always work
• If thats the case, do whatever is necessary to
  get out of the situation
• Dont be afraid to make waves

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Prevention/ Women

• Trust your instincts
• If you feel uncomfortable or think you may be at
  risk, leave the situation immediately and go to a
  safe place
• If you think you are being pressured into
  unwanted sex, you probably are

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Prevention/ Women

• Remember that some men may think that dressing
  provocatively, drinking heavily, or going to a
  mans room indicates a willingness for sex
• Non-verbals can send strong messages
• Be especially careful to communicate your limits
  and intentions in such situations

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Prevention/ Women

• Attend large parties with friends you trust
• Agree to look out for each other
• Try to leave with a group, rather than with
  someone you dont know very well

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Prevention/ Women

• If you do drink alcohol at a party, be especially
  careful not to put your drink down or let a
  stranger refill your drink
• The drug Rophynol is spreading across campuses
  nationwide and is being called the date rape
  drug

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Prevention/ Women

• Again, avoid using drugs and alcohol
• As mentioned before, both cloud your judgment and
  prevent you from communicating effectively

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Assistance Afterwards

• If you or someone you know is a victim
• of date rape or stranger rape
• Immediately

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Assistance Afterwards/Get Help

• Go to a safe place
• Call someone you trust to be with you
• If on campus, call your RA and campus security
• You can also call a rape crisis hotline WOAR
• Most of all you need to get help.

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Assistance Afterwards/ Medical Attention

• You should immediately get medical assistance
• Campus security will transport you to Thomas
  Jefferson Hospital which is designated to provide
  special services for rape victims.

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Assistance Afterwards/ Pressing Charges

• If you contact the police, they will interview
  you, transport you to Jefferson, and attempt to
  apprehend the assailant if you choose to press
  charges.

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Assistance Afterwards/ Pressing Charges

• You dont have to press charges immediately,
  ever.
• But is useful to report the assault and gather
  evidence, in case you change your mind later.
• Dont shower or bathe after the attack and keep
  any physical evidence, such as clothing.

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Assistance Afterwards/ The University

• The University will also pursue disciplinary
  action taking into account the victims wishes.
• For a full explanation of the universitys
  policy, read your student handbook.

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Assistance Afterwards/Emotionally

• You may feel
• Fearful for your safety
• Shock and disbelief
• The need to blame yourself
• Wanting to forget it happened
• Guilty/ashamed

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Assistance Afterwards/Emotionally

• The aftermath of a sexual assault can be
  extremely difficult.
• Talking to a counselor can help you understand
  your feelings.
• Remember its not your fault and you dont have
  to go through this alone!

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Where to Go for Help/Counseling

• For Emotional Support/Crisis Counseling
• Drexel University Counseling Center 895-1415
• Women Organized Against Rape-
• 985-3333 (24 hrs.)

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Where to Go for Help/ Medical

• For Medical Assistance contact
• Thomas Jefferson Hospital (a hospital designated
  to provide special services for rape victims
  within the first 72 hours of the assault)
  955-6541

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Where to Go for Help/ Medical

• For Medical Assistance contact
• After 72 hrs., you may go to the Drexel Student
  Health Center for pregnancy and STD testing
• 955-6541

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Where to Go for Help/ Legal

• For Legal Assistance contact
• Campus Security (Emergency 895-2222)
• Local Philadelphia Police (Emergency 911)