Bullying

1
Bullying

• By Melissa Benedetti, Justin Paysinger, Jennifer
  Cherrie, Nicole Mavrakakis, and Karin Hughes

2
What Does Bullying Look Like Today?

• Physical
• Pushing and shoving
• Tripping
• Kicking
• Hitting and slapping
• Pinching
• Verbal
• Name-calling
• Teasing
• Threats
• Racist, sexist, or bigoted remarks

3
What Does Bullying Look Like Today? (Continued)

• Relational
• Intimidation
• Spreading rumors or lies
• Exclusion
• Coercion
• Cyberbullying
• Instant messages
• Text messages
• Postings on social networking sites and
  blogs-photos, negative messages, etc.

4
Behaviors Known As Bullying

• Acting like they rule the world
• Acting rude
• Bossing people around
• Cheating
• Forcing people to hand over their money or
  possessions
  
• Gossiping
• Humiliating, ignoring, intimidating, laughing,
  harassing, insulting, threatening, embarrassing,
  teasing, or attacking people
  
• Making obscene gestures
• Making racist or sexist comments
• Making people feel invisible, helpless, inferior,
  or uncomfortable
  
• Lying
• Making people do things they dont want to do
• Name calling
• Hitting, kicking, pushing, or shoving

5
Behaviors Known As Bullying (Continued)

• Picking on or attacking people because of their
  religion, race, gender, culture, family
  background, etc.
  
• Refusing to talk to people
• Saying or writing nasty things about people
• Scaring or frightening people
• Stealing
• Telling mean jokes
• Using physical violence
• Acting mean
• Bragging about being tough
• Carrying weapons
• Damaging or breaking peoples things
• Rejecting people or leaving them out
• Spreading rumors

6
Behaviors Known As Bullying (Continued)

• Putting people down, hurting their feelings, or
  making fun of them
  
• Saying sarcastic things to people
• Swearing
• Touching people in rude or abusive ways
• Using verbal taunts
• Picking on people that are different

7
Why Do Children Bully Others?

• Bullies are aggressive children
• View violence as okay and feel this is how to
  interact with other children
  
• Many are impulsive and active
• Since parents or teachers dont know what to do,
  their behavior is ignored
  
• Many actions go unpunished

8
Specific Reasons Why Children Bully Others

• Name-calling
• Uncontrolled anger
• Revenge
• Surrounded by violence
• Poor social skills
• Power, recognition, acceptance, and being cool
• High/low self-esteem
•   Poor role modeling
• Entertainment, humor, relieve from boredom
• Group bullying/hazing

9
What Happens to Bullies?

•  
• Life-long outlook is not good
• Behavior can become a habit when they get older
• By adolescence, bullying popularity slowly
  decreases
  
• Aids in school drop out rate
• By age 24, 60 of bullies have at least 1
  criminal conviction
  
• Have more alcoholism, anti-social personalities,
  use more mental health services
  
• Bully relationship partners, employees, and even
  their children
  
•  

10
Rules For Telling the Difference Between Tattling
and Reporting

• Children tattle when they want to
• get someone in trouble
• look good in someone elses eyes
• get attention
• have an adult solve their problems
• Children report when they
• want protection for themselves or someone else
• want protection for their own or someone elses
  property
  
• are scared
• are in danger

11
Activity Time

• I am going to read you a scenario and you are
  going to tell me whether you think it is tattling
  or reporting and why.

12
Possible Signs That Someone Is Being Bullied

• Is frightened of walking to or from school
• Doesnt want to go on the school or public bus
  begs to be driven to school
  
• Changes their usual routine
• Is unwilling to go to school
• Becomes withdrawn, anxious, or lacks confidence
• Starts stammering
• Attempts or threatens suicide or runs away
• Cries themselves to sleep at night or has
  nightmares
  
• Feels ill in the morning
• Begins to do poorly in school work
• Comes home with clothes torn or books damaged
• Has possessions that end up missing

13
Possible Signs That Someone Is Being Bullied
(continued)

• Asks for money or starts stealing money to pay
  bully
  
• Has unexplained cuts and bruises
• Comes home starving because their money or lunch
  has been stolen
  
• Becomes aggressive, disruptive, or unreasonable
• Is bullying other children or siblings
• Stops eating
• Is frightened to say whats wrong
• Note some of these behaviors can be indicators
  of other problems, but bullying should be
  considered a possibility.

14
What Parents Should Do If They Suspect Their
Child Is Being Bullied

• Parents should
• Encourage their child to report bullying
  incidents to them or to another adult they trust
  
• Let their child know that they have made the
  right choice by reporting the incident and that
  they are not to blame
  
• Validate their childs feelings by letting them
  know that what they are feeling is normal
  
• Ask for who, what, where, and when
• Ask their child to tell them how they have tried
  to stop the bullying
  
• Tell their child to try to avoid the situation by
  playing in a different place or by playing a
  different game
  
• Tell their child to stay near a supervising adult
  when bullying is likely to occur
  
• Not ignore their childs report of the incident
• Not advise their child to physically fight back
• Not confront the child who bullies or the family
  of the child who bullies
  

15
What Parents Should Do If They Suspect Their
Child Is Being Bullied (Continued)

• Parents should
• Share their childs concerns and specific
  information about bullying incidents with
  appropriate school personnel
  
• Work with the school staff to protect their child
  from possible retaliation
  
• Establish a plan with their child and the school
  to deal with future bullying incidents
  
• Encourage their child to seek help and to report
  bullying incidents to someone they feel safe with
  at school such as an adult in charge of a
  specific activity or area, a teacher, a
  counselor, or a principal
• Find positive ways to encourage respectful
  behaviors at school by using school personnel and
  other parents as resources
  
• Volunteer their time to help supervise the
  playground, the lunchroom, or field trips
  
• Become an advocate for schoolwide bullying
  prevention programs and policies
  

16
What A Child Is Exposed To At Home Can Turn Them
Into A Bully

• A parent who disciplines their child by hitting
  or yelling at them is teaching them to react in
  that way with other people. Parents are
  reinforced for these behaviors because they gain
  power and compliance.
• Usually when a child exhibits bullying behavior
  in school it means that they have been a target
  of that behavior in the home.
  
• Girls who observe their mothers practicing
  exclusion or manipulation of friends and family
  members and boys who observe their fathers
  handling disputes with a physical response are
  more likely to exhibit these same behaviors in
  school.
• Parents also need to be aware of the language
  that their child hears at home because name
  calling is a favorite form of bulling behavior
  among some children.
• A child who has bonded well with their parents
  and feels warmth and caring from them is much
  less likely to resort to bullying behavior with
  peers in school and elsewhere.

17
Vicarious Learning

• What children are exposed to in the home can lead
  to vicarious learning.
  
• Vicarious learning is when a person engages in a
  certain behavior because they saw someone else
  reinforced for that same behavior.
  

18
Project Cornerstone

• Project Cornerstone is the Santa Clara
  County-wide collaborative working to mobilize our
  entire community to shift from reacting to
  children and youth as problems to connecting with
  them so they thrive. We aim to ensure that every
  aspect of our diverse community - individuals,
  businesses, community organizations, schools, and
  government - understand and embrace the fact that
  interacting with young people is important...and
  that every interaction makes a difference.
• Middle School Districts
• Alum Rock District, Berryessa District, Cambrian
  District, Los Gatos District, Milpitas District,
  Moreland District, San Jose Unified, Santa Clara
  District, Union District

19
Warm and Fuzzies

• So what are warm fuzzies you wonder?  Warm
  Fuzzies are little pompoms with faces.  They
  represent a compliment, a feel good action, or a
  warm feeling you get when you make someone
  happy.  They have been popping up all over the
  county.  If you go to Schalenberger Elementary,
  Booksin Elementary, Willow Glen Elementary,
  Noddin Elementary or Allen at Steinbeck, you can
  ask any and every student what a warm fuzzy is
  and they will tell you.  If you were at the
  Willow Glen Carnival in October, they were being
  passed out to all who stopped at a booth. You can
  even go to Christmas in the Park and find them
  decorating a tree, compliments of Allen at
  Steinbeck Elementary School! 

20
Middle School

• STUDENTS
• Expect Respect Student Workshops for diverse
  students resulting in student-developed action
  plans for engaging their peers and partnering
  with school staff to create safe, caring, school
  climates, where bullying behavior is minimized.
  Follow up support and coaching is provided.
• Cornerstone Clubs Students create action plans
  at a Project Cornerstone led "Expect Respect"
  workshop to help make their school a safe and fun
  place for all students to learn. Students take
  their plans a step further and develop
  Cornerstone Clubs at their schools to not only
  continue to promote caring school climates, but
  to foster the development of all the assets in
  their school environment.
• Service Learning Based on curriculum focused on
  collecting and sharing oral history, Project
  Cornerstone supports schools to implement a year
  long or semester long class which connects youth
  with adults in their community.

21
Middle School

• TEACHERS, ADMINISTRATORS, AND SCHOOL SUPPORT
  STAFF
  
• Training on developmental assets and how they can
  be major asset builders in the lives of their
  students. By building positive relationships with
  students, creating a safe learning environment,
  and developing asset building programs and
  practices in their classrooms teachers and all
  school staff can build these critical
  developmental assets in their students.
• Cornerstone Classes Project Cornerstone is
  available to provide consultation and curriculum
  guides for setting up a daily "Cornerstone class"
  during the school day.

22
Middle School

• PARENTS AND OTHER CAREGIVERS
• Training for parents and other caregivers in the
  importance of developmental assets in the lives
  of their children is provided at elementary,
  middle, and high school levels. Project
  Cornerstone staff work with school administrators
  to design the parent training as a good "fit" for
  each school community. The core of parent
  training is the "Taking Asset Building
  Personally" study group.
• Websites
• Teaching Tolerance -- Fight Hate and Promote
  Tolerance (teen site)National Mix it Up at Lunch
  Day is Tuesday, November 14, 2006www.tolerance.or
  g/teens/index.jsp
• Stop Bullying Now! -- Take a Stand, Lend a Hand
  (mixed ages)www.stopbullyingnow.hrsa.gov
  
• National Youth Violence Prevention Network
  (teens)www.safeyouth.org
  
• PBS Kids network page (mixed ages)www.pbskids.org
  /itsmylife/school/index.html

23
Middle School

• PARENTS AND OTHER CAREGIVERS (Continued)
• Videos
• Let's Get Real (ages 10-14) Available at
  www.womedia.org/letsgetreal.htm
  
• ABC News Special The In Crowd and Social Cruelty
  (mixed ages)Available at www.pdassoc.com
  
• Books
• What Do You Stand For, For Teens? Barbara A.
  Lewis
  
• Step By Step! A Young Persons Guide to Positive
  Community change, the Mosaic youth Center Board
  of directors with Jennifer Griffin-Wiesner
  

24
ABC Parents Program

• Stands for Asset Building Champion Parents
  Program
  
• It was created by Felecia Mulvany and was started
  in September of 2004.
  
• She came up with the program after she took the
  study group called Taking Asset Building
  Personally through Project Cornerstone.
  
• The program is free and schools need to provide
  the books that are used.
  
• Parents have a 2 hour training about the assets
  and the program. It incorporates 28 of the 41
  assets.
  

25
ABC Parents Program (Continued)

• The training has lots of resources about what
  bullying is and it mentions techniques on how to
  deal with it.
  
• The parents then volunteer once a month for about
  45 minutes reading books in at least one
  classroom.
  
• They also have monthly meetings that talk about
  bullying and bystander behavior. At these
  meetings parents share what has come up for them
  and their child.
• The person in charge of the meeting then comes up
  with strategies that can be used to help.
  
• Bullying is taught about at all grade levels
  informing parents that it happens from preschool
  on up.
  
• They also inform them about what types of
  bullying there are and what behaviors constitute
  bullying.

26
Goals of the ABC Parents Program

• Use literacy opportunities to share concepts of
  student-to-student respect.
  
• Use literacy to create a common language and
  vocabulary about student respect for school
  community amongst all adults on campus, parents,
  and students.
• Increase the skills of all students for dealing
  with physical, verbal, and relational bullying.
  
• Increase student achievement, learning
  engagement, and interpersonal competence by
  improving school climate.
  
• Increase the number of caring adults that
  students interact with at school to enable them
  to feel increased levels of support and value.
  
• Increase the number of developmental assets in
  all children and parents.
  

27
Discussion

• Would anybody like to share how their child may
  have been affected by bullying and what you did
  to help them through it?
  
• If youre not a parent, do you know any parents
  who have had children who have been affected by
  bullying? How did those parents help their child?

28
Lesson Plan Key Points

• Simons Hook
• By Karen Gedig Burnett
• To teach children how to be resilient and how to
  act or not react when mean things are said to
  them. The fish hook analogy allows the children
  to see teasing from a new objective angle.
  Simons Hook helps children recognize that they
  have choices. This approach is unique in that it
  teaches children to focus on their own actions
  rather than the teases of the other person.
• Types of bullying addressed verbal and relational

29
Lesson Plan Key Points (Continued)

• Lesson
• We have been talking about teasing. Today we are
  going to hear a story about a little boy named
  Simon who is teased because he has a bad hair
  day.

30
Lesson Plan Key Points (Continued)

• Questions To Ask Before Reading
• 1.) What do you think it means to have a bad hair
  day?
  
• 2.) Have you ever had a bad hair day?
• 3.) Were you teased about it?

31
Lesson Plan Key Points (Continued)

• Questions To Ask After Reading
• 1.) What did you learn from the story?
• 2.) Why was Simon having a bad hair day?
• 3.) How did his friend react when Simon fell?

32
Lesson Plan Key Points (Continued)

• Activities
• 1.) Use teasing cards to role play what to do
  when someone teases you.
  
• 2.) Bullying stories-Have children write bullying
  stories. Share the stories in pairs. Discuss how
  these stories made the other children feel and
  some solutions they could use.

33
Strategies and Motivation For Parents

• BULLYING Tips for Parents
• Look for the signs Keep an eye out for
  reluctance to go to school silence about whats
  happening at school frequently lost objects or
  possessions a frequent "everybodys picking on
  me" attitude low self-esteem.
• Ask open-ended questions Show interest by asking
  questions less likely to be answered with a brief
  yes or no. Dont just ask, "How was your day?"
  Try asking, "What kinds of things did you do at
  recess today?" or "What happened at lunchtime
  today?"
• Share your experiences Tell your child about
  your own childhood experiences with being teased
  or bullied. Talk about how it made you feel and
  how you handled it.

34
Strategies and Motivation For Parents(Continued)

• BULLYING Tips for Parents
• Respect where the child is Parents often want to
  act immediately by calling the teacher or a
  school administrator. This can sometimes make the
  situation more difficult for the child who is
  being teased or bullied. If your child asks you
  not to do anything about it, try to respect this
  wish and work instead on making her feel
  empowered enough to try handling the situation on
  her own.
• Try role-playing Reenact the bullying or teasing
  and help your child practice non-aggressive ways
  to handle it. Brainstorm about witty or humorous
  comebacks. Teach your child preventative tactics
  such as reporting aggressive, abusive behavior
  and staying near friends or adult supervisors.

35
Strategies and Motivation For Parents

• If you suspect your child is the aggressor
• Be a good role model Be aware of your own
  aggressive behavior and be a positive role model.
  Watch the fights over parking spaces at the
  grocery store and keep a handle on your
  aggression at sporting events.
• Reevaluate discipline techniques Children who
  are bullies require discipline that is
  non-violent and logically handed out. As with
  any child, never discipline out of anger.
• Identify the triggers Know what pushes your
  childs buttons and when he is most likely to
  become aggressive. Role play and suggest ways
  your child can respond to these situations
  assertively, not aggressively. Validate and
  reward assertive versus aggressive behavior.
• Suggest ways to join in with others Provide
  opportunities for your child to be of service to
  others -- reading to a younger child, helping out
  at a soup kitchen, making cards for nursing home
  residents. These activities can help your child
  feel better about herself, making her less likely
  to bully.
• Above all, parents should know that the old
  "sticks and stones" adage doesnt tell the whole
  truth. Words may not break bones, but they can
  break a childs spirit and self-esteem.

36
Strategies and Motivation For Students

• BULLYING Tips for Students
• If you are being bullied
• Reach Out
• Tell an adult. Sometimes you may have to tell
  more than one trusted adult.
  
• Ask your friends to help you. There is safety in
  numbers.
  
• Practice what to say the next time you're bullied
  with your parents, teachers or friends.
  
• Be Cool in the Moment
• Stay calm and confident. Don't show the bully
  that you're sad or mad.
  
• Ignore the bully and walk away.
• Remember Fighting back can make bullying worse.
• Change the School Community
• Work with others to stop bully behavior your
  whole school will benefit.
  
• Remember A lot of kids have to cope with
  bullying. You are not alone. No one deserves to
  be bullied.

37
Strategies and Motivation For Students(Continued)

• BULLYING Tips for Students
• If you witness bullying
• Interrupt It
• Stand next to, or speak up for the person being
  bullied.
  
• Ask the bully to stop.
• Comfort the person being bullied and offer
  friendship.
  
• Get Help
• Walk away and get help.
• Find an adult who can intervene.

38
Strategies and Motivation For Students(Continued)

• BULLYING Tips for Students
• If you are the bully
• Make a Commitment to Change
• Talk to an adult, like a teacher or parent, about
  how to get along with others.
  
• Ask a friend to help you stop your bully
  behavior.
  
• Apologize to the kids you have bullied.
• Focus on Empathy and Responsibility
• Think about what it feels like to be bullied --
  would you want to be treated that way?
  
• Before you speak, think about whether your words
  will help or hurt another student.
  
• Change Your Behavior
• Resist peer pressure to bully.
• If you start to bully, walk away and find
  something else to do.
  
• Remember You don't have to like everyone around
  you, but you have to treat everyone with respect.

39
Strategies and Motivation For Teachers

• Bullying Guidelines for Teachers
• THE DO's
• Stop the bullying immediately. Stand between the
  bullied student and the bully(ies), blocking eye
  contact. Don't send any bystanders away. To avoid
  escalating the tension, wait until later to sort
  out the facts. Talk to the parties involved
  separately once they are calm.
• Refer to school rules regarding bullying. Speak
  in a matter-of-fact tone of voice to describe
  what you heard or saw. Let all students know
  bullying is always unacceptable.
• Support the bullied child. Do this in a way that
  allows him or her dignity and to feel safe from
  retaliation. Make a point to see the child later
  in private if he or she is upset. Increase
  supervision to assure bullying is not repeated.
• Offer guidance to bystanders. Let them know how
  they might appropriately intervene or get help
  next time. Tell them you noticed their inaction
  or that you're pleased with the way they tried to
  help.

40
Strategies and Motivation For Teachers(Continued)

• Bullying Guidelines for Teachers
• THE DOS
• Impose immediate consequences. Wait until all
  parties have calmed down. Do not require that
  students apologize or make amends that may be
  insincere. The consequences should be logical and
  connected to the offense. A first step could be
  taking away social privileges i.e. recess or
  lunch in the cafeteria.
• Notify colleagues and parents. Let the bully
  know he or she is being watched.
  
• Follow up and intervene as necessary. Support
  the bullied child and the bully, enabling them to
  vent feelings and recognize their own behavior.
  The bully may need to learn new methods of using
  his or her power and influence in the classroom.

41
Strategies and Motivation For Teachers

• THE DON'Ts
• Do not confuse bullying with conflict. Bullying
  is a form of victimization, and addressing it as
  a "conflict" downplays the negative behavior and
  the seriousness of the effects. Educators should
  strive to send the message that "no one deserves
  to be bullied," and to let the bully know the
  behavior is wholly inappropriate.
• Do not use peer mediation. It can be very
  upsetting for a child who has been bullied to
  face his or her tormentor in mediation. Giving
  both parties an equal voice can empower the bully
  and make the bullied student feel worse. In
  addition, there is no evidence that peer
  mediation is effective in stopping bullying.
• Do not use group treatment for bullies. Some
  schools use therapeutic strategies such as anger
  management, skill-building, empathy-building and
  self-esteem building to reach the bully. In
  practice, group members can actually reinforce
  each others' bullying and antisocial behavior.
• Adapted from "Misdirections in Bullying
  Prevention and Intervention," and other tip
  sheets by Stop Bullying Now!, a website dedicated
  to helping youth "take a stand" and "lend a
  hand."

42
Warning Signs That Teachers Should Look For In
Their Students

• Your student may be bullied if he or she
• leaves school with torn, damaged or missing
  clothing, books or other belongings
  
• has unexplained cuts, bruises, and scratches
• has few, if any, friends with whom to spend time
  
  
• seems afraid to be in school, leave school, ride
  the school bus, or take part in organized
  activities with peers
  
• has lost interest in school work or suddenly
  begins to perform poorly
  
• appears sad, moody, teary or depressed
• complains frequently of headaches, stomach aches,
  or other physical ailments or
  
• avoids the cafeteria and/or doesn't eat.

43
How will you prevent bullying in your classroom?
44
Scenario 1

• The students constantly whisper and chuckle at a
  student with a lisp. Your student rarely
  participates due to the fear of being teased.
  Youve talked to the bullies individually, but
  being in a group fuels their taunting. What is
  your next step?
• Address the class and acknowledge the problem.

45
Scenario 2

• A loner student in your class is often the victim
  of bullying. He doesnt have any friends and he
  seems depressed and detached from school work.
  What could you do to help this student?
• Create opportunities for building friendships.
  Having friends is one of the best prevention
  tactics from bullying.

46
Scenario 3

• A child in your class has been labeled the class
  bully. The student has no friends and is in
  trouble often for lashing out at other students.
  Repetitive punishments and discipline tactics are
  not resulting in a change in behavior. What can
  you do to help this student?
• Try positive reinforcement when the child does
  something good. Try to have a daily dialogue
  with the child.
  

47
Scenario 4

• During recess, a student approaches you and tells
  you a bully pushed a smaller student and stole
  the students basketball. You handle the
  situation with the bully. What should you say to
  the student who brought it to your attention?
• Acknowledge their good deed. Make sure your
  children know the difference between tattling and
  helping another student in need.