Parenting : Birth to Six

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Parenting Birth to Six

• The big picture

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Parents are to . . .

• Bring up children in the instruction and training
  of the LORD.
• Direct children to keep the way of the LORD.
• Impress Gods way on children.
• Talk about Gods way to children.
• Teach Gods way by talking about Gods way.
• Tell children about the praiseworthy deeds of the
  LORD
• Train children in the way they should go.

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Parents are NOT to ...

• Provoke (exasperate, sandpaper) their children
• Embitter (aggravate, anger, annoy, bother,
  disillusion, exasperate, irritate, make bitter,
  make resentful, poison, sour, upset) their
  children
• Hide Gods way from their children

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What do you think?
Why does the warning, Do not provoke precede
the instruction to bring them up?
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Parenting The Big Picture
A parents big picture assignment is to create an
environment where a child feels safe to explore
and is encouraged(not provoked) to move toward
spiritual maturity. (way of the LORD)
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The Big Picture Environment
Loving Relationships
LovingInstruction
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Parents, create an environment with loving
relationships, loving limits, loving instruction
and loving God.
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Environment with Loving Relationships

• Connection
• Care
• Compassion

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CONNECTION
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Connection
Loving Relationships

• Mom and Dad Connect with Each Other
• Mentor Couple
• Plan to spend time together aim for at least 3
  hours per week and include emotional,
  intellectual, physical and spiritual connection.

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When you stop giving each other the care you
need, you start losing your love for each other.
And when thats lost, you risk losing your
marriage, something your children desperately
need. Children suffer when their parents
divorce. And they thrive when mom and dad
make their care for each other a
priority. Willard Harley, Jr., His Needs, Her
Needs for Parents
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Connection
Loving Relationships

• Child Connects with Mom and Dad
• Eye Contact
• Touch
• Smiles
• Hugs
• Tone of voice

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• Question
• How might a father (parent) provoke his child
  here?
• Connection between mom and dad?
• Connection between child and mom and dad?

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CARE
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Care
Loving Relationships

• Child knows that his/her needs will be met this
  develops trust

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Determining Needs vs. Wants

• Needs
• Food
• Shelter
• Clothing
• Love
• A sense of belonging
• Feelings of self-competence
• A healthy sense of control

Loving Relationships
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Care
The Trust Cycle
Loving Relationships
Infants and children who know that their basic
needs are going to be met develop love and
kindness in their hearts. Jim Fay Charles
Fay, Ph.D.
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• Question
• How might a father (parent) provoke his child
  here?
• Food
• Shelter
• Clothing
• Love
• A sense of belonging
• Feelings of self-competence
• A healthy sense of control

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Care
Loving Relationships
When the Trust Cycle is Broken . . . Infants
and children who do not have their basic needs
met spend their lives angry at the world and
themselves. Jim Fay Charles Fay, Ph.D.
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COMPASSION
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Compassion
Loving Relationships

• Child experiences empathy,
• not anger

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A gentle answer turns away wrath.
Compassion
Loving Relationshps
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Compassion
What is empathy? n. The intellectual
identification with or vicarious experiencing of
the feelings, thoughts, or attitudes of another.
Loving Relationships

• What does empathy Accomplish?
• Preserves the adult-child relationship
• Prevents resentment and the chances of payback
  behavior
• Models, and therefore, teaches respect
• Helps a child stay focused on what can be learned
  from a mistake rather than on the adults anger

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Consequences Anger More AngerEmpathy
Consequences Learning
Compassion
Loving Relationshps
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Question How might a father (parent) provoke
his child here? Consequences Anger More
AngerEmpathy Consequences Learning
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What do you think?
Why does the warning, Do not provoke precede
the instruction to bring them up?
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Which C ? Connection, Care, Compassion

• Wiping noses
• Changing diapers
• Making meals
• Feeding the baby
• Cleaning up
• Reading the same book 20 times a day
• Singing silly songs
• Tickling toes
• Picking up toys
• Potty training
• Eating dinner together
• Bathing the baby/child
• Laughing with your spouse
• Disciplining for disobedience

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Next Week