Domestic Violence and Boys

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Domestic Violence and Boys

• Examining the Life Experience of Boys
• Ed Clarke, Ph.D.

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Overview Boys Violence

• My Purpose

• Not My Intention

• Domestic Violence Defined
• Perpetuating Domestic Violence
• Consequences of Victimization
• Where do we go from here?

• To minimize the abuses of women either outside or
  inside of the family.
• To defend men who use violent means within the
  family.

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Domestic Violence Defined

• Domestic violence, also called intimate partner
  violence, battering, or wife-beating, refers
  to physical, sexual, psychological, and economic
  abuse that takes place in the context of an
  intimate relationship, including marriage.
• Domestic violence is one of the most common forms
  of gender-based violence and is often
  characterized by long-term patterns of abusive
  behavior and control.
• This definition contributes to a myopic view of
  family violence.
• References the family in using the term
  Domestic but focuses on only one of the many
  relationships within families.
• Defining "domestic violence" in this way also
  tends to overlook male victims and violence
  between same-sex partners.
• The more specific term "intimate partner
  violence (IPV) is utilized more and is defined
  as actual or threatened physical or sexual
  violence, or psychological/emotional abuse by a
  spouse, ex-spouse, boyfriend/ girlfriend,
  ex-boyfriend/ ex-girlfriend, or date.
• In recent years, the term Domestic Violence" has
  begun to include other forms of violence
  including abuse of elders, children, and
  siblings.

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Children Violence and the Social Context

• SOURCE U.S. Department of Justice, Bureau of
  Justice Statistics, National Crime Victimization
  Survey. Federal Bureau of Investigation, Uniform
  Crime Reporting Program, Supplementary Homicide
  Reports.
• In 2005, the rate at which youth were victims of
  serious violent crimes was 14 crimes per 1,000
  juveniles ages 1217, totaling about 350,600 such
  crimes. Youth ages 1217 were more than twice as
  likely as adults to be victims of serious violent
  crimes.
• Serious violent crime involving juvenile victims
  stayed about the same between 2004 and 2005.
  However, rates are still significantly lower than
  their peak in 1993. In 1993, the serious violent
  crime victimization rate was 44 per 1,000
  juveniles, compared to the 2005 rate of 14 per
  1,000 juveniles.
• Males are more than twice as likely as females to
  be victims of serious violent crimes. In 2005,
  the serious violent crime victimization rate was
  19 per 1,000 male youth, compared with 9 per
  1,000 female youth.
• In 2005, Black youth were more likely than White
  youth to be victims of a serious violent crime
  and over twice as likely as youth of other races
  to be victims of serious violence.
• Older teens (ages 1517) were more likely to be
  victims of a serious violent crime than younger
  teens (ages 1214) in 2005. Older teens also had
  higher rates of serious violent crime
  victimization in 2005 (17 victims per 1,000) than
  in 2004 (11 victims per 1,000).

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Rate of serious violent crime victimization of
youth ages 1217 by gender, 19802005
NOTE Serious violent crimes include aggravated
assault, rape, robbery (stealing by force or
threat of violence), and homicide. Because of
changes, data prior to 1992 are adjusted to make
them comparable with data collected under the
redesigned methodology. The 2005 data were
collected during the calendar year and include
some incidents that occurred during the previous
year. Data for previous years are of
victimizations experienced in the calendar year.
This was done because the full data for 2005 were
not yet available. Analyses comparing these data
show only a small difference between the two
methods.
SOURCE U.S. Department of Justice, Bureau of
Justice Statistics, National Crime Victimization
Survey. Federal Bureau of Investigation, Uniform
Crime Reporting Program, Supplementary Homicide
Reports.
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Children Objects of Family Violence

• 44 of Daughters and 58.2 of Sons were hit at
  least once by a father or mother.
• Mothers and Fathers hit more sons than daughters.
• Mothers 43.5 of sons 35.6 of daughters.
• Fathers 44.8 of sons 26.7 of daughters.
• Mothers and Fathers hit sons more often than
  daughters.
• Mothers hit 6 or more times 31.3 of sons 25.9
  of daughters.
• Fathers hit 6 or more times 25 of sons 19.6
  of fathers.
• The 1993 case-level data on perpetrators of
  substantiated or indicated maltreatment were
  provided by seven States. This information showed
  that
• 62 of perpetrators were female.
• Most perpetrators under age 40 were female (65),
  while most perpetrators over 40 were male (55).
• 63 of perpetrators were associated with only one
  victim, 19 were associated with two victims, 10
  with three victims, and 8 with four or more
  victims.

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Perpetuating Domestic Violence

• Veneration of Violence in American Culture
• Seen as pragmaticto solve problemsfrom the
  National/international level to the family.
• Normal possible strategy for resolving conflict
  (especially for males).
• Males are expected (and may be encouraged) to
  engage in violence at some point.
• Continued faith in the effectiveness and
  efficiency of violent strategies.

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Perpetuating Domestic Violence

• Legitimating Violence in Families
• 2002 Result of meta-analysis of 88 studies
  Elizabeth Thompson Gershoff of the National
  Center for Children in Poverty at Columbia
  University, a large-scale, meta-analysis of 88
  studies on spanking of children, The American
  Psychological Association.
• She searched for associations between parental
  use of corporal punishment and eleven factors,
  including
• In childhood immediate compliance, moral
  internalization, quality of relationship with
  parent, and physical abuse by that parent, child
  aggression
• In adulthood abuse of ones own children, abuse
  of one's spouse and
• In both childhood and adulthood mental health,
  aggression, and criminal or antisocial behavior.
• She found "strong associations" in each case. One
  factor -- immediate compliance by the child --
  was positive the other ten factors were
  negative. She suggests that these observations
  give insight into why corporal punishment is such
  a controversial matter
• Many parents strongly support spanking because
  they are rewarded with immediate compliance by
  the child whenever this discipline technique is
  used.
• Many researchers strongly oppose spanking because
  of serious negative affects on the child during
  childhood and later in life.
• Sanctity of the family
• Child vs. Parental Rights in Law

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A Boys World Becoming Male

• Emotions
• Male infants are biologically wired to be more
  emotionally reactive and expressive than females
• Startle more easily
• Excite more quickly
• Less tolerance of tension and frustration
• Distressed more quickly
• Cry sooner and more often
• From age 2 onward, more physically active but
  less emotionally mature

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Becoming Male Gender Socialization of Emotion

• From infancy into adulthood, males and females
  are conditioned to experience and respond to
  emotions very differently.
• How parents respond to childrens emotions.
• Responses from peers, the games children play
  and how they play them.
• Responses from adultsteachers, coaches, etc.
• Media messages and role models (e.g. sports
  commentators descriptions of athletes as
  fearless, etc.)
• By middle of grade school boys are
• Less aware of their emotions
• Less expressive of their emotions
• Less empathic toward others and toward
  themselves

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Moral Values and Gender Identity

• Moral values Good ways to be a ______.
• We cant help but evaluate ourselves
• How close or far am I from how I should be?
• Am I moving toward or away from my ideal self?
• Predisposed to pursue valued goals.
• Gender is moral (seen as good/right) and
  fundamental to identity.
• Being feminine and masculine are important
  elements of self-identity or self-concept.

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Male Identity Emotions and Values
Male Identity
Less Empathy
Dominate aggressive
Less Emotional Awareness
Avoid unmanly
Experience
Behavior
Anger Good/Safe
Fear vulnerability Bad/unsafe
Suppress vulnerable emotions
Thoughts
Beliefs about relationships
Beliefs about masculinity, esp. emotional
expression
Beliefs about self
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Becoming Male Conditioning Masculine Identity

• Most conditioning is not conscious
• Conditioned to
• Not experience vulnerable emotions, but ignore
  them.
• Not express vulnerable emotions, but suppress
  them.
• Not empathize with vulnerable emotions, but fear
  and have contempt for them.
• Skip vulnerable feelings and go straight to
  anger.
• Thoughts and beliefs are important, but not the
  core.
• Conditioning wires and re-wires the brain.
• Less emotional awareness, expressiveness, and
  empathy conditioning can shape the way our
  brains work (i.e. combat veterans).

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Most Effective Conditioning

• High arousal
• Intense positive or negative emotions
• Threat to life or physical integrity (PTSD
  criterion)
• Threat to moral identity
• Brain chemicals that modulate learning and memory
• Deep needs
• Safety
• Respect and acceptance
• Relationships and trust
• Relationship with God or that which is seen as
  transcendentTo be a good ________, worthy of
  ________
• Repetition with clear rewards and punishments

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Assault as Emotional Conditioning

• Massive arousal Memory (fragments) and emotions
  burned into the brain
• Basic needs Safety, respect, relationships and
  trust are all threatened and suspended.
• Vulnerability Fear, helplessness, humiliation,
  etc.
• Outcomes, including PTSD
• Reliving traumatic memories, emotions, body
  reactions
• Automatic triggering by associated stimuli
• Emotions as all-or-nothing, unregulated
• Avoid reminders and triggers
• Lose positive emotions and motivation to engage
• Hyperarousal Sleep problems, irritability,
  startle, etc.

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Assault Conditioning vs. Male Identity

• Experience and effects of assault, especially
  sexual assault, totally contradict male identity
• Victim
• Vulnerable
• Submissive
• Overwhelmed
• Intense and inescapable emotions
• Normal male gender identity not an option
• Can shatter male identity extreme negative
  beliefs and judgments about oneself
• How to (try to) deal with the vulnerable
  emotions?

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Experiencing Sexual AssaultLisak, D. (1994). The
psychological impact of sexual abuse Content
analysis of interviews with male survivors.
Journal of Traumatic Stress, 7, 525-548.

• Themes Shared with Female Sexual Assault Victims

• Themes and Beliefs Unique to Male Sexual Assault
  Victims

• Legitimacy
• Men cant be sexual assault victims.
• No one will believe me.
• Masculinity issues
• I cant be a real man if I let this happen to
  me.
• My manhood has been destroyed, stolen from me.
• Homosexuality issues
• Do I look gay? Am I gay?
• Homosexuality is perverted and evil.
• Gay/bisexual Happened because Im
  gay/bisexual?

• Fear
• Betrayal
• Helplessness
• Isolation and alienation
• Loss
• Negative beliefs about people
• Negative beliefs about oneself
• Problems with sexuality
• Self blame/guilt
• Shame/humiliation

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Male Emotional Conditioning vs. Healing from
Sexual Assault

• The cultures rigid gender norms harmed these
  men beyond creating feelings of insecurity and
  inadequacy. They also impeded the process of
  healing from sexual abuse by forcefully warning
  survivors away from the very capacities they
  needed to foster their own healing. Like all
  males, survivors hear from numerous sources one
  of the codes of masculinity Dont acknowledge
  your pain, dont express it, and dont talk about
  it with anyone else. Thus, they are compelled to
  reject their capacities to feel and empathize
  with their own pain, thereby dramatically
  reducing their ability to begin the process of
  healing the legacy of abuse.
• Choice aspect
• Option A Challenge masculine norms, create own
  identity
• Option B Become hyper-masculine
• Option C Resigned to non-masculine identity
• Conditioning aspect
• Beyond choice beyond what you think or decide
  Emotional functioning is deeply conditioned,
  involves brain structures and processes outside
  of awareness
• Many men simply lack capacities to deal with
  strong vulnerable emotions
• Lisak, D. (1994). The psychological impact of
  sexual abuse Content analysis of interviews with
  male survivors. Journal of Traumatic Stress, 7,
  525-548.

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Consequences Religion Related Abuse

• Personal responsibility mantra, therefore child
  must be changed.
• Defined
• the perpetrator of the physical abuse was a
  religious leader or religious teacher, believed
  he or she was directed by God or a religious
  text, and/or perpetrated the abuse in a religious
  context, all of which are circumstances that
  could lead victims to feel as though the abuse
  was sanctioned by a church or even God.
• Obligatory Violence
• Forced Allegiance
• victims of religion-related abuse were more
  likely than victims of other physical abuse to
  say that their experience had lasting positive
  spiritual effects. This becomes part of the
  folklore.
• Results indicate that
• Although the basic characteristics of
  religion-related physical abuse are similar to
  non religion-related physical abuse,
  religion-related abuse has significantly more
  negative implications for its victims' long-term
  psychological well-being.
• victims of religion-related abuse displayed more
  depression, anxiety, hostility, psychoticism,
  phobic anxiety, and paranoid ideation (although
  the latter two effects weakened after covarying
  for proxy measures of abuse severity). Those
  victims were also higher in somatization than
  victims of non-religion-related abuse, but did
  not differ from the control group in that regard.
• Religion-related Child Physical Abuse
  Characteristics and Psychological Outcomes, Bette
  L. Bottoms, University of Illinois at Chicago,
  Michael Nielsen and Rebecca Murray, Georgia
  Southern University, Henrietta Filipas,
  University of Illinois at Chicago

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Consequences of Victimization

• What is Learned?
• Obedience requires violence.
• Love sometimes requires violence.
• Violence produces compliance.
• What is experienced?
• Self deprecation.
• An act of carrying at the least, an act of love
  at the most.

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Where do we go from here?

• Call things by their real name! A Hit is a Hit.
  If hitting is violent, spanking is violence.
• Believe there can be, and desire a different
  male image.