Just Let them Fight

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Just Let them Fight!!!!!

• Dethra U. Giles

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• Turn off your cell phones or put them on vibrate
• Participate!!!!! (This is an interactive session)
• Respect fellow participants!
• Keep an open mind
• Maintain confidentiality!!!!
• Enjoy the ride

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Lets Play Cards
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What Happened? What went wrongWhen did you
start having problemsWho was the problemHow did
you resolve the conflict
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Do you make your employees play this card
game???????

• Lets see!

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Common Responses to employee conflict

• Silent Treatment
• Im telling the boss
• Im telling other co-workers
• Of course I have the information but he/she wont
  get it
• Ill just do it myself

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What is the common denominator

• Lack of communication
• No on is talking
• No one is sharing
• No one has put the work first

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The Solution?

• LET THEM FIGHT!!!!!

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Goals

• Learn the definition of Conflict
• Learn to appreciate and reduce the fear of
  conflict
• Learn the role you play in conflict management
• Learn to think strategically and not react
  emotionally to conflict

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What is Conflict

• competitive or opposing action of incompatibles
  antagonistic state or action (as of divergent
  ideas, interests, or persons)
• Webster.com

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Whats Wrong with this Definition

• It is all negative
• Relax Conflict is not all bad. It is how you
  handle it

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Lets go back to the common denominators

• Lack of communication
• No on is talking
• No one is sharing
• No one has put the work first

• What do they all have in common?
• They all stop the exchange that is needed to get
  the work done

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What is our focus?
THE WORK
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Lets redefine with Conflict the work as our
concern?

• A condition between people
• Who are interdependent, and
• Must work together
• Where one or both are not in agreement, and
• Use behavior that causes a BUSINESS PROBLEM
• ????????????

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Let them fight but it has to be fair!
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Rules of engagement

• Lets talk
• No walk aways and no power plays
• Give it time
• Lets make a deal
• And the winner is?

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Lets talk

• Ending the conversation is the WORST thing you
  can do
• Conversation should be
• Civil
• Productive
• About the business problem

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No Walk aways and No Power Plays

• Fight
• Threatening
• Getting others to take sides
• Shouting
• Hostile gestures
• Power Plays

• Flight
• Avoiding
• Withdrawing
• Withholding information
• Not returning messages
• Silent treatment
• Walk Aways

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Give it time

• Lets try something new
• Face-to-face talking
• about the problem
• without interruption
• long enough to find
• a solution

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Lets Make a Deal

• The conversation should end in a mutually agreed
  upon plan of action. It should be
• Balanced
• Behaviorally specific
• Written (e-mail)

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And the WINNER IS?

• Your Organization

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Follow-up

• Check in after the conversation
• How is it working?
• Do you all need to go back to the drawing board?
• When?
• Long enough to see results good or bad
• Dont wait too long

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COMMUNICATION

• There is not so much doing right and wrong as
  there is understanding and misunderstanding
• Frank L. Giles