LEGAL, WRITING AND

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LEGAL, WRITING AND EDITING PHASE August to mid
October 2011

• Anita Rice
• In this session, well cover these topics
• Writing tips
• Style tips, based partly on last years
  presentation by Marcus Tanner
• Some legal issues
• Editing process
• Questions

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LEGAL, WRITING AND EDITING PHASE August to mid
October 2011

• Anita Rice
• Reference materials for this session are
• Digging Deeper (book)
• BIRN style guide (handout)
• Legal terms, definitions and libel defences
  (handout)
• Fake news stories would they be safe to
  publish? (handout)

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DEADLINES
JULY 31 THREE FACTUAL ELEMENTS These could be
profiles, timelines, legislation quick guides for
example which we will agree in the Individual
meetings this week in Vienna SEPTEMBER 1 FINAL
DATE FOR ENGLISH VERSION FOR FELLOWSHIP JUDGES
2,500 words maximum This story must not be
physically edited by ANY of the fellowship
editors but we can and MUST discuss content,
structure, interviewees, evidence, paper trails
etc. REMEMBER, this is the version that will
decide whether you win a 4,000 euro prize or
not. Dont leave to the last minute EDITING
SEPTEMBER TO MID OCTOBER You will be allocated
two days intensive editing with the English
editor, me, during this six week period, in
either Skopje or Belgrade. Ensure you book dates
with Dragana NOW if you are not available for the
entire period NOTE You must also be available
during the entire period for amendments,
additions, clarification and obtaining further
material.
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BIWEEKLY WEB UPDATES AND EDITORIAL SKYPE
PROGRESS CHECKS
Every two weeks until the end of the August you
shall Email a 400word blogstyle update
with pictures where necessary for the
fellowship website Update the editor, thats
me, in a short 20 minute Skype voice call
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GETTING STARTED ORGANISING YOUR MATERIAL
ALWAYS work from a detailed article OUTLINE. An
outline is a roadmap a logical and
schematic summary are essential when writing a
long piece. BEGIN by transcribing recordings
and typing out handwritten notes so that all your
material is in front of you in a clear,
easytoread format. HIGHLIGHT the most relevant
sections in your interview notes and all other
documents, for example reports, web pages or
emails. ARRANGE the highlighted information
into an article outline. Time spent preparing a
good outline will cut many hours from the writing
process. The more detailed and carefully thought
out your outline is, the more organised your
piece will be.
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WHAT IS YOUR LEAD?
The first sentence in the outline should be your
lead. This is the point from which the entire
outline, and article, will flow. Each paragraph
in the outline must then support the lead, with
each paragraph flowing logically from one to
another. Work out what your lead is this is
the top, strongest line of your investigation.
The basic structure of the outline is simple
and mirrors the structure of the story itself
beginning (lead) middle (body) end
(conclusion). This may sound oversimplified but
it is amazing how often journalists forget these
basic components of a story, including link
paragraphs that move the reader from one thought
or element to another. As with the outline, time
spent working out the lead well BEFORE you start
writing will save much time and keep your article
focused
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CONSIDER YOUR READER
It is amazing how many journalists dont consider
their readers. We are not writing for
ourselves. Be clear, concise and arrange your
story in an engaging style Your story outline
should weave together the various elements
quotes, facts, stats, background so that you
keep the reader engaged and do not lose or
confuse them Do not presume knowledge. Some
parts of your story may seem obvious to you, but
they probably arent for others. Remember that
many of your readers will rely on the English
language version and they might speak English as
a second or third language
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STRUCTURE LEAD, BODY AND CONCLUSION
A GOOD LEAD MUST Grab the readers attention
and explain what has happened and why it is
important. Captures the mood, creates an image,
appeals to the imagination and takes the reader
to another place or world The STORY BODY
MUST Continues to draw the reader in The
story must FLOW. Each paragraph must follow on
logically from the previous one Each new
paragraph should introduce a new topic or
point Keep links smooth, using linking words
such as however, soon after, meanwhile,
conversely The CONCLUSION MUST Leave the
reader satisfied and give them a feeling of
closure. Dont tail off or let it look like
you ran out of steam Resolve all story threads.
It is the end. It is not a place for new
information, revelations or surprises The final
paragraph is often a warning note regarding
future developments, a very strong quote or a
reminder of the fate of some characters
introduced earlier.
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AVOID
Long, rambling quotes select the most
poignant sentence, the most meaningful or the
most relevant Statistical or factual
information, eg population size, is rarely best
presented in a quote Dont get bogged down
with unnecessary and irrelevant detail, keep the
pace and language lively and to the point
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STYLE TIPS
Use an active rather than passive voice
Keep sentences short and simple Vary the
way you begin sentences Loitering outside the
job centre, Smith explains he hasnt worked for
more than Its terrible round ere, he says
might be better than Mr Smith was waitingto
open
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HOOK THE READER
If possible, try a colour introduction that
illustrates a fact, rather than just stating the
fact. Find a person/family/scene/human interest
story to illustrate the dilemma/phenomenon about
which you're writing. If you are writing about
women starting to have children in their 40s,
introduce us to one such woman, rather than just
stating that "20 per cent of women giving birth
to their first child are now aged 40 and above.
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COLOUR INTROS MUST BE RELEVANT
Make sure the colour introduction does illustrate
the rest of the story. It must provide a
relevant lead. A colour intro must function as
a guide to the story. It is not enough, just
being colourful. Don't forget your introduction.
If we meet Julia, aged 41, having her first baby
in the introduction, it will be unsatisfactory
if we never encounter her again. The reader will
want to know what happened later, soplan on
saving some material/quotes from/about her for
the conclusion. It is easy to fall in love with
some scene or incident that is interesting but IS
NOT strictly relevant to the rest of the
story. A colour intro is a good way to hook in
the reader, but don't push it too far.
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NUTGRAF / OUTLINE YOUR STORY
A colour intro should not be more than one or two
paragraphs. Then you must outline the substantial
point of your story. This second section should
contain a concise diagnosis of the phenomenon you
want to describe. IT should provide context,
taking us from the colour intro to the wider
phenomenon. It should tell the reader why your
story is important. When you refer to the book
Digging Deeper, this is referred to as the
NUTGRAF. See page 188. SEE BOOK HANDOUT DIGGING
DEEPER
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PRECISE, SOURCED FACTS
The NUTGRAF must be accompanied by relevant
facts, figures and percentages. These must be
sourced, eg UN or the WHO. This is hard fact
Nothing here should be vague, unsourced, without
context or imprecise. Don't say 100,000 people
have lost jobs in the country recently. Do say
According to Zagrebs Chamber of Commerce, in its
figures for 2009, 100,000 people lost their jobs
over the past 12 months, mostly in mining and
transport sectors. As a result, the total jobless
figure at the start of 2010 stood at 350,000,
which is nine per cent of the working age
population."
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KEEP TITLES SHORT
Long titles take up valuable space. Don't waste
words by writing out professional and political
titles in full. No need to say "John Smith,
State Secretary for Economy, Exports, Imports,
Businesses and Trade," just say "John Smith, the
economy minister" that's four words instead of
12. Avoid the title president unless it is the
head of state or someone occupying a similarly
grand function, i.e. "president of the supreme
court". Use director, manager, head, chief,
chair, chairman. So, instead of "president of
the executive board of Glaxo chemicals", say
"head of Glaxo chemicals". Don't call people
doctor unless they are medical doctors. Use
editor, not editorinchief, etc.
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GET YOUR FACTS RIGHT
Check all your facts, and source them when it is
relevant to do so. This applies to facts that
are little known, controversial, disputed. If it
ever looks like you are being careless or evasive
with your facts, it will destroy your authority
as a journalist and demolish your story. Some
statistics, such as unemployment statistics, need
to be sourced, but only briefly. This is because
they are not normally controversial we just
want to know where you got the figures. i.e.,
say, the chamber of commerce, the ministry for
employment, etc. Give detailed sources for more
complex, controversial or debatable facts.
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BE LIVELY, BUT APPROPRIATE
Try to avoid sounding either like a European
Union policy document, i.e. dry and official,
On the other hand, avoid sensationalist,
tabloid reporting. No triple dots ("I looked
into her eyes... ") unless you have contracted an
overly long quote, He was going barmy I
thought he was going to kill me. Use
exclamation marks sparingly (He looked
crazy!) No italics/ repetitions /capitals
("Someone is screaming... Someone is SCREAMING!")
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GET THE TONE RIGHT
No exaggerated comparisons do not compare a
badly run hospital or prison to a Nazi
concentration camp. Do not suggest angry,
unpleasant officials are like Hitler. Do not
call people fascists unless they use that term
for themselves. NO innuendos Do not patronize
Never refer to old women as granny, or refer to
them by their first names as if they were
children. The same goes for old men,
peasants/rural people/ poor people, etc. Avoid
clichés. Keep tears to a minimum.
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DONT GET PERSONAL
There is a sometimes a place for the author in
his or her story. But it should be as discrete
and neutral a place as possible and not in the
foreground. If the word I' appears in every
paragraph, something is going wrong. The only
exceptions for this are if you make yourself the
subject of your own story. e.g., you dress up as
a beggar to see how society reacts to the
poor. Dont put your opinions in the story, you
should only provide, in quotes, the views of
others. Don't use quote marks without
attributing them.
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EMOTIVE, JUDGEMENTAL TERMS
Do NOT use the terms terrorists, warlord,
fundamentalist or freedom fighter/martyr unless
in quotes Use precise descriptions, proTaliban
fighters, antigovernment fighters, rebel army
fighters. How do they describe
themselves? Avoid imprecise use of emotive words
such as massacre the deliberate killing of
people known to be armed and defenceless. Are
you sure? Could these people have died in battle?
Who says? The word genocide cannot be used
unless it is a recognised genocide. Rwandas 1984
genocide is recognised as such by the UN.
Avoid demonising adjectives like cruel,
brutal or barbaric as it means youve taken
sides. These should be reserved for quotes,
where not libellous. NEVER make an opinion or
claim look like an established fact
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ETHICS PRIVACY
People their strengths but usually their
weaknesses make stories. Reuters reminds its
journalists that "the people who make the news
are vulnerable to the impact of our stories. In
extreme cases, their lives or their reputations
could depend on our reporting." This is worth
remembering when considering issues relating to
privacy. Privacy is defined by the Oxford
English dictionary as the state of being private
and undisturbed a person's right to this
freedom from intrusion or public attention
avoidance of publicity. Think about how you
would feel if the story were about you or your
grandmother, for instance.
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IMPARTIALITY AND BALANCE
Ensure your pieces are balanced by representing
all sides of the story. Give those criticised
the chance to respond. You must represent all
sides, without bias. The journalist should be
separate from the story. Keep your opinions out
of your stories but be aware that 100
impartiality is impossible.
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ACCURACY
Accuracy means precision. Correctly spelling
names, citing numbers and reporting what was said
in the right context, without exaggeration. Accu
racy is betrayed by using unreliable sources,
sources with a hidden interest and by failing to
independently verify or doublesource
information. Lack of double sourcing turns
journalism into rumour-mongering and
propaganda. Inaccuracy betrays the media's
single greatest attribute, its credibility. Citiz
ens will neither believe the media nor tell
journalists the truth about events if they fear
being misquoted, misinterpreted or maligned.
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PLAGIARISM
Always use your own reporting. Rewriting material
from other media is a minefield and leaves you
open to allegations of plagiarism or even
libel. Plagiarism is the intentional and
unintentional use of someone else's words or
ideas without acknowledgment Purdue
University's Online Writing lab. It is a
serious breach of journalistic ethics and at most
international news organisations a journalist
found to be plagiarising would be fired.
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DEFAMATION
Defamatory statements can be made in numerous
ways. Broadly speaking, if the statement is
written or in any permanent form, such as a
picture, it is LIBEL. If it is spoken or
otherwise transient in form it is SLANDER (except
broadcasting and theatre/performance also
LIBEL).
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DEFAMATION DEFINED

• Judges in the UK tell juries that a statement is
  defamatory if it tends to do any one of the
• following
• expose him to hatred, ridicule or contempt
• cause him to be shunned or avoided
• lower him in the estimation of rightthinking
  members of society generally or
• disparage him in his business, trade, office or
  profession.
• NOTE the use of the term tends to, the burden of
  proof is NOT on the complainant in a
• defamation case.
• NOTE also rightthinking refers to accepted or
  standard intelligence and judgement of a
• reasonable man.

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LEGAL GUIDES FOR JOURNALISTS
The standard book English journalists use is
McNaes Essential law for Journalists, published
by the Oxford University Press. As you will
know, defamation is causing harm to an
individual's reputation, either on a personal or
professional level. According to The
Associated Press Stylebook and Libel Manual, the
vast majority of libel cases are the result of a
published allegation of crime, incompetence or
immorality. The same guide says the majority of
these cases can be linked to the usage of
erroneous, vague or inexact language.
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COMMON MISTAKES AND ASSUMPTIONS
Do not repeat rumours, you must have proof before
making any form of allegation Adding 'allegedly'
is no protection. Nor is contradicting the rumour
if you start by repeating it Each publication of
a libellous statement is a fresh cause for action
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MORE COMMON MISTAKES
Quoting others is dangerous if you can't prove
what they said is true. This goes for other,
published media reports Drawing conclusions
letting the facts speak for themselves is far
better than adding a conclusion you can't
prove Irresponsible adjectives adding that
extra something to your story just might prove
costly Representing all sides is good
journalistic practice, but isn't a defence
against a libel action
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INTERNATIONAL REPORTING LEGAL CONCERNS
We publish in English on the internet and,
therefore, are potentially vulnerable to UK libel
actions The complainant does not have to be
English or even resident in England to sue
there Journalists living anywhere in the world
are potentially open to being sued for libel here
in England, if they publish something which is
defamatory and untrue about someone with a
reputation in England and who has sufficient
links with this jurisdiction (family here,
business interests here etc) and they can show
that a significant number of people who live here
in England accessed the words complained of.
Stephen Loughrey, solicitor, Carter Ruck
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COURT REPORTING
Adhere to local law in your home country or UK
law when outside your home country to avoid
breaching contempt of court laws Know if
reporting restrictions apply. They will apply for
sex offence trials, cases involving children or
other vulnerable individuals. NEVER attempt to
report a court case on your own in another
country. Use a qualified, local court
reporter. ALWAYS request translations from the
court itself/justice ministry when attempt to
render offences. Is it grievous bodily harm or
actual bodily harm? Offences, court type (appeal,
first instance), verdicts and sentences must be
accurately and precisely translated.
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FICTITIOUS STORIES FOR TRAINING PURPOSES
DO NOT PUBLISH OR DISTRIBUTE BFJE VIENNA SEMINAR
/ MAY 2011 Please turn to the handout I emailed
to you before we arrived in Vienna. Is the first
story safe to publish? Why?
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NO, ITS NOT SAFE TO PUBLISH
THERES A RISK OF GROUP LIBEL Care home owners
jailed for abuse A married couple who ran a
residential care home for vulnerable elderly
people have been jailed for a total of 10 years,
after both were convicted of violent abuse. Ann
and Edward Smith, who ran the Twilight Nursing
Home in Xtown, Xcounty, each received fiveyear
jail sentences, following their trial at Xtown
Crown Court. The Smiths were found guilty of
abuse after the court heard they repeated
slapped, starved and shouted at the people in
their care. Two other carers were also found
guilty of related offences.
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NO, ITS NOT SAFE TO PUBLISH
THE CHILD, WHO IS BOTH THE VICTIM OF A SEXUAL
OFFENCE AND A MINOR, HAS BEEN UNINTENTIONALLY
IDENTIFIED JIGSAW IDENTIFICATION Judge
increases incest fathers jail term A father of
three who subjected his 10yearold daughter to
horrific sexual abuse has had his jail term
lengthened by the Court of Appeal. The father,
Shane Smith, 51, of X street in X town, abused
his daughter for 9 months in 2010 while his wife
was not at home. The appeal judges ruled the
original sentence of 3.5 years to be inadequate,
and increased the minimum jail term to be served
by Smith to 7.5 years. Smith had previously been
found guilty of sexually abusing an underage girl
in 2008. (Write instead The father, who cannot
be identified )
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NO, ITS NOT SAFE TO PUBLISH
THERES A RISK OF CONTEMPT OF COURT Three men
charged over Xtown arms find Three men have
appeared in court charged in connection with the
discovery of guns and ammunition in
Xtown. Appearing in court in Xtown were Fred
Bloggs, 24, from this address John Joseph, 31,
from that address and 28 yearold Andrew Another
from another address. The men are charged with
possession of firearms, preparation for
committing acts of terrorism and possession of
articles likely to be of use to terrorists. All
three were remanded in custody until next
month. Police said all three men had been
previously convicted of firearms and violent
offences in the past three years. NB Why can
we say that the convicted sexual offender has
previous in the story before, but we cant
reveal previous offences in a story about a
live case?
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UK LIBEL LAW UNDER REVIEW, BUT BEWARE
While the UK government is considering
introducing curbs on socalled jurisdiction
shopping for libel, there will be NO IMMUNITY
for journalists working in EU and aspirant EU
member states in the Balkans, who publish in
English on the internet The proposed reforms
do not grant immunity from English libel actions.
In an effort to stamp out socalled libel
tourism (foreign claimants choosing to sue for
libel in England because it is perceived to be a
more claimant friendly jurisdiction) the reform
proposals simply increase the burden of proof on
the claimant to show that England is clearly the
most appropriate place to bring the claim.
Stephen Loughrey, solicitor, Carter Ruck law
firm, UK
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UK LIBEL LAW UNDER REVIEW (CONTD)
But arent the proposed reforms, if passed, going
to greatly reduce the burden of proof on
journalists in libel cases? No. The proposed
reforms will slightly liberalise our libel laws
with regard, for example, to the defence of
honest opinion and to the fact that it is
proposed that claimants should now have to prove
that any article they sue over has caused, or is
likely to cause, them some damage. However, the
burden of proof will very much remain on the
journalist / publisher to prove that the words
complained of are true or to make out some other
recognised defence to the claim. It is
important to bear in mind that in England we have
a vigorous and competitive press who are
constantly battling to outdo each other in terms
of sales and who historically have shown
disregard for the truth or falsity of what they
write. Our libel laws are designed to impose some
checks and balances on them. Stephen
Loughrey, solicitor, Carter Ruck If youre
interested, you can track the progress of the
governments paper on libel laws on its
website http//services.parliament.uk/bills/2010
11/defamationhl.html Honest opinion example
McNaes (18th edition, pg 238 Branson V Bower)
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WORD COUNT
You cannot put everything in the story your word
count is 2,500 words MAXIMUM
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FACT CHECKS
After you have written your story return to your
original documents and interview transcripts to
make sure you have the facts right Do this
BEFORE you send the article to the BIRN
fellowship team Local editors, and I, will check
your facts and require you to provide proof,
transcripts, documents where necessary We will
expect you to provide core documents for
publication as PDF or web hyperlinks within your
story
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EDITING
I know some of you are familiar with this type of
editing process but be warned, the editing
process is rigorous and the final copy may look
substantially different to the article that you
submitted All stories are edited by a native
Englishspeaking editor, so dont expect to see
your English or direct translations in the
final copy Stories will be edited according to
BIRNs style guide The more you stick to the
word limit, the more likely the editor will not
need to summarise your material It is a
COLLABORATIVE process
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EDITING PROCESS
The editor, me, will work with each of you on
your stories for two days between the beginning
of September to mid October Each fellows two
days will be agreed here, and cannot be changed.
Obviously, there are ten of you, it would make
editing impossible The edit will address
structure, balance, accuracy, legal, sourcing and
ethical issues and confirm use of which pictures,
audio/video etc Local editors will check and
approve final copy for the fellows from their
country Local editors will also approve local
versions of articles that involve their
countries Fellows must be available after
these two days to check and approve the English
language copy after it edited, AND AGAIN, after
it is proofread NOTHING will be published
without the authors written consent DONT
DISAPPEAR, IT MIGHT BE THAT YOU NEED TO PROVIDE
MORE INFORMATION, QUOTES, TRANSLATIONS APPROVALS
AFTER THESE TWO DAYS
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TRANSLATIONS
Some fellows prefer their own translations over
professional translations please deal directly
with Dragana about this The English language
version is the definitive BIRN version and will
be used for translation into local
languages BIRN will provide translations into
local languages NB translating into local
languages is key for the programme and it is
ANOTHER REASON WHY YOU CANT MISS ANY DEADLINES
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PUBLISHING
We will begin publishing stories one by one
from October 15 All stories MUST be published
before the closing seminar Berlin
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AND FINALLY
WORK HARD WORK SMART STAY IN REGULAR
CONTACT GOOD LUCK