Title: Eats, shoots
1Eats, shoots leavesThe Zero Tolerance Approach
to Punctuation
2A panda walks into a café. He orders a sandwich,
eats it, then draws a gun and fires two shots in
the air. Why? asks the confused waiter, as
the panda makes towards the exit. The panda
produces a badly punctuated wildlife manual and
tosses it over his shoulder. Im a panda,
he says, at the door. Look it up. The waiter
turns to the relevant entry and, sure enough,
finds an explanation. Panda. Large
black-and-while bear-like mammal, native to
China. Eats, shoots and leaves.
3To the memory of the striking Bolshevik printers
of St. Petersburg who, in 1995, demanded to be
paid the same rate for punctuation marks as for
letters, and thereby directly precipitated the
first Russian Revolution
4Punctuation is a system of printers marks that
had aided the clarity of the written word for the
past half-millennium, and if its time had come to
be replaced, lets just use this moment to
celebrate what an elegant and imaginative job it
did while it had the chance.
5Caring about matters of language is unfortunately
generally associated with small-minded people,
but that doesnt make it a small issue.
6The Seventh Sense
- Come inside, for CDs, VIDEOs, DVDs, and
BOOKs - Two Weeks Notice
- Can you spare any old records
- eight items or less
- The judges decision is final
7(No Transcript)
8While some people look in horror at a badly
punctuated sign, the world carries on around us,
blind for our plight. Those people are like the
little boy in The Sixth Sense who can see dead
people, except that they can see dead punctuation.
9Punctuation Defined
- The basting that holds the fabric of language in
shape. - The traffic signals of language they tell us to
slow down, notice this, take a detour, and stop. - The courtesy designed to help readers to
understand a story without stumbling. - The line along which the train (composition,
style, writing) must travel if it isnt to run
away with its driver.
10When punctuation is not used
- Language come apart, obviously, and all the
buttons fall off. - Words bang into each other and everyone ends up
in Minehead. - A sentence no longer holds the door open for you
to walk in , but drops it in your face as you
approach. - You and your writing will go off-line with your
words dead and scattered around.
11- Punctuation marks are traditionally
- either separators
- or terminators.
12Between Staunch and Flexible
- Punctuation is being governed
- Two-thirds by rule and one-third by personal
taste - G.V. Carey, Mind the Stop,
- Cambridge University Press, 1939
13Examples
- A woman without her man is nothing
- A woman, without her man, is nothing
- A woman without her, man is nothing
14Examples
- It is under these circumstances that we feel
constrained to call upon you to come to our aid
should a disturbance arise here the circumstances
are so extreme that we cannot but believe that
you and the men under you will not fail to come
to the rescue of people who are so situated. - Put the period after the word aid once then
after here and see the change in meaning. -
15Examples
- Charles the First walked and talked half an hour
after his head was cut off - Charles the First walked and talked. Half an
hour after, his head was cut off
16Why a cat is not a comma?
- A cat has claws
- at the ends of its paws.
- A commas a pause
- at the end of a clause.
17The Tractable Apostrophe
- Means in Greek turning away
- and hence omission or elision
- In the 16th century
- First picked up and used to mark dropped letters
- In the 17th century
- Intruded before the s in singular possessive
cases - the girls dress
- In the 18th century
- Put after plural possessives as well the girls
dresses
18Apostrophe's Tasks
- Indicates a possessive
- Singular noun
- The boys hat
- Plural without s
- The childrens playground
- Regular plural
- The boys hats
19Apostrophes Tasks
- Indicates time or quantity
- In one weeks time
- Indicates omission of figures in dates
- The summer of 68
- Indicates the omission of letters
- We cant go to Joburg
- Its your turn
- Its got very cold
20The Contractive and the Possessive
- The rule is the word its (with apostrophe)
stands for it is or it has. - If the word does not stand for it is or it
has then what you require is its. - Thank God its Friday
- Thank God its Friday
21No matter that you have a Ph.D. and have read
all of Henry James twice. If you still persist
in writing, Good food at its best, you
deserve to be struck by lightning, hacked up on
the spot and buried in an unmarked grave.
22Apostrophes Tasks
- Features in Irish names
- ONeill and OCasey
- The O in the Irish names is an anglicisation of
ua, meaning grandson. - Indicates the plurals of letters
- How many fs are there in Fulham?
23Apostrophes Tasks
- Indicates plurals of words
- What are the dos and donts?
- Are there too many buts and ands at the
beginning of sentences these days?
24The Lifted Task
- It no longer has to appear in the plurals
abbreviations (MPs) or plural dates (1980s).
25Apostrophes Tasks
- Abolish the apostrophe
- and it will be necessary,
- before the hour is up,
- to reinvent it.
26Thatll Do, Comma
- Thurber and Ross
- Why to you have a comma in the sentence, After
dinner, the men went into the living room? - This particular comma, was Rosss way of giving
the men time to push back their chairs and stand
up.
27No dogs please
- Only one person in a thousand
- bothers to point out that
- actually the statement
- is an indefensible generalization,
- since many dogs
- do please.
28Thatll Do, Comma
- Means in Greek a piece cut off
- Adopted in the 16th century
- Purpose was to guide actors, chanters and
readers-aloud indicating the pauses, accentuating
matters of sense and sound. - Aldus Manutius the Elder invented the italic
typeface and printed the first semicolon
29Thatll Do, Comma
- Aldus Manutius the Younger stated in 1566 that
the main object of punctuation was the
clarification of syntax. - Two distinct function
- Illuminate grammar of a sentence
- Point up rhythm, direction, pitch, tone and flow.
30Commas Tasks
- Commas for lists
- The four refreshing fruit flavors of Opal Fruits
are orange, lemon, strawberry and lime.
31Commas Tasks
- The Oxford comma
- The flag is red, white, and blue
- I went to the chemist, Marks Spencer, and
NatWest. - They tell us to slow down, notice this, take a
detour, and stop. - (three or four instructions)
32Commas Tasks
- List of Adjectives
- Use the comma where an and would be appropriate.
- It was a dark, stormy night.
- He was a tall, bearded man.
- Do not use a comma for
- It was an endangered white rhino
- The grand old Duke of York had ten thousand men.
33Commas Tasks
- Commas for joining
- Complete sentences with conjunctions
- as and, or, but, while and yet
- The boys wanted to stay up until midnight, but
they grew tired and fell asleep. - I thought I had the biggest bag of fruits, yet
Cathy proved me wrong.
34Commas Tasks
- Commas before direct speech
- The queen said, Doesnt anyone know its my
birthday? - Commas setting off interjections
- Stop, or Ill scream.
35Commas Tasks
- Commas that come in pairs
- (weak interruption)
- I am, of course, going steadily nuts
- Nicholas Nickleby, published in 1839, uses a
great many commas. - (should be removed)
- The leading stage director, Nicholas Hytner, has
been appointed to the Royal National Theatre.
36Commas Tasks
- Important grammatical point
- The people in the queue who managed to get
tickets were very satisfied. - Some people did not get tickets
- The people in the queue, who managed to get
tickets, were very satisfied. - Everyone got tickets
37A Grammatical Point
- If the clause between the commas is defining,
commas are not needed. - The Highland Terries that live in our street
arent cute at all - The Highland Terries, when they are barking, are
a nightmare.
38Commas Big Final Rule
- Dont use commas like a stupid person
- Leonora walked on her head, a little higher than
usual. - The driver managed to escape from the vehicle
before it sank and swam to the river-bank. - Dont guess, use a timer or watch.
- The convict said the judge is mad.
39Airs and Graces The Colon and Semicolon
- They are about expectation and elastic energy.
Like internal springs, they propel you forward in
a sentence towards more information. - Semicolon lightly propels you in any direction
related to the foregoing. - The colon nudges you along lines already subtly
laid down.
40The Colon and Semicolon
- The colon delivers the goods that have been
invoiced in the preceding words. - Tom has only one rule in life never eat anything
bigger than your head. - I pulled out all the stops with kerry-Anne I
used a semicolon. - I loved Opal fruits as a child no one else did.
- You can do it and you will do it.
41The Colon and Semicolon
- Man proposes God disposes.
- I find fault with only three things in this story
or yours, Jenkins the beginning, the middle and
the end. - Colons introduce the part of a sentence that
exemplifies, restates, elaborates, undermines,
explains or balances the preceding part.
42The Colon and Semicolon
- Colons start lists (especially lists using
semicolons) - They set off book and film sub-titles from the
main titles - Ghandi II The Mahatma Strikes Back
43The Colon and Semicolon
- The main place for a semicolon is between two
related sentences where there is no conjunction
such as and or but. - It was the baying of an enormous hound it came
from over there! - I remember him when he couldnt write his own
name on a gate now hes Prime Minister
44Indispensable Semicolon
- Fares were offered to Corfu, the Greek island
Morocco Elba, in the Mediterranean and Paris.
Margaret thought about it. She had been to Elba
once and found it dull to Morocco, and found it
too colorful. - Special Policeman Semicolon (for comma fights)
-
45The Colon and Semicolon
- Sense changes with punctuation
- Tom locked himself in the shed. England lost to
Argentina. - Tom locked himself in the shed England lost to
Argentina. - Tom locked himself in the shed England lost to
Argentina.
46Cutting a Dashexclamation mark, dash, italic,
question mark
- Exclamation mark is used to salute, admire,
emphasize, irony, e-mail salutations. - Whereas a dash is used to connect (or separate)
sentences, the hyphen is used to connect (or
separate) individual words. - Italics are used for,
- Titles of books, emphasis of certain words,
foreign words, examples on language
47Cutting a Dashexclamation mark, dash, italic,
question mark
- Question mark is used when the question is
direct. - What is the capital of Belgium?
- What was the point of all this sudden interest in
Brussels, he wondered. - The ellipsis appears in e-mails and shorthand,
meaning more to come. -
48Double Dashes
- Bracketing device
- He was (I still cant believe this!) trying to
climb in the window. - He was -I still cant believe this!- trying to
climb in the window. - Can you tell the difference?
49Types, Shapes, Names of Brackets
- Round brackets (called parentheses in US)
- Square brackets called brackets in US
- Brace brackets derived from maths
- Angle brackets ltlinguistic and technical usesgt
- Angle shape the earliest to appear
- Brackets (as for a bookshelf ) lift up a section
of the sentence, holding it above the rest.
50Uses of Brackets
- Add information, clarify, explain and illustrate.
- Starburst (formerly known as Opal Fruits) are
available in all corner shops. - Square brackets for clarifying direct quote, and
enclosing ellipsis - She had used Tom Jones for far too many
examples by this stage.
51Ellipsis (or three dots)
- Very specific uses
- Indicate word missing from a quoted passage
- Trail off in a intriguing matte
52A Little Used Mark (Hyphen)
- Name comes from the Greek.
- Uses of the hyphen,
- Avoid ambiguity (re-formed, re-mark)
- Spell out numbers (thirty-two, forty-nine)
- Link nouns with nouns (London-Brighton train)
- Link adjectives to adjectives (American-French
relations) - Noun phrase qualifies another noun
(stainless-steel kitchen, corrugate-iron roof)
53A Little Used Mark (Hyphen)
- Uses of hyphen (continued)
- Certain prefixes (anti-Apartheid, quasi-steady)
- Spell out certain words (K-E-Y-N-S-H-A-M)
- Avoid letter collision (de-ice, shell-like)
- Indicate unfinished word that continues on the
next line - Hesitation and stammering (I reached the
w-w-w-w-watering can) - Qualify a hyphenated phrase beforehand (He was a
two- or three-year-old.)
54Merely Conventional Signs
- Emotions are the proper name for smileys.
- -) happy -( sad
- -) winking -r tongue sticking
- / mixed up lt-) dunce (stupid)
- - pouting -O surprise
- Text message and verbal shorthand
- CU B4 8?
55Computers, Reading and Writing
- With text messaging and emailing becoming such
compulsive universal activities, reading and
writing are now more a fact of everyday life than
they have ever been. - The human linguistic faculty seems to be in good
shape. The arrival of Netspeak is showing us
homo loquens at its best David Crystal -
56A Last Word
- Proper punctuation is both the sign and cause of
clear thinking. - We should fight like tigers to preserve
punctuation, and we should start now. - The purpose of punctuation is to tango the
reader into the pauses, inflections, continuities
and connections that the spoken line would
convey. Thomas McCormack.