Developing Constructive Conversation to Address Disagreements

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Developing Constructive Conversation to Address
Disagreements

• www.ellenstarrmarriagecounselling.ca
  416-488-3102

2
If you are like other married or cohabitating
couples, chances are you and your loved one have
had a disagreement or argument at some point.

• www.ellenstarrmarriagecounselling.ca
  
  416-488-3102

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How you and your spouse communicated during the
argument says a lot about your ability to
effectively communicate with each other in a
constructive manner.

• www.ellenstarrmarriagecounselling.ca
  
  416-488-3102

4
If all you did was yell at each other, then this
was not constructive conversation. Yelling sets
off our flight or fight response.

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  416-488-3102

5
This is where you will either respond in a
defensive manner or simply shut down to avoid the
confrontation. The fact there was an argument
means there is often an underlying issue that
truly needs to be discussed.

• www.ellenstarrmarriagecounselling.ca
  
  416-488-3102

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Unfortunately, many couples cannot get past the
argument stage to determine what underlying
issues are actually bothering them.

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  416-488-3102

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In some cases, there may be several different
issues they are not happy about, but are not sure
how to communicate these with their loved one.

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  416-488-3102

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Instead, this sets them up, so when something
small goes wrong, like preparing dinner is
running behind, they go off the deep end and it
turns into an all-out yelling and shouting match.

• www.ellenstarrmarriagecounselling.ca
  
  416-488-3102

9
They may unleash the flood gates at this point
and just let everything they have been bottling
up inside out at the same time.

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  416-488-3102

10
They may place blame or find fault or bring up
past arguments or problems you were led to
believe were resolved. If any of this sounds
familiar,

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  416-488-3102

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then you and your loved one could probably
benefit from learning how to develop constructive
conversation structures for addressing
disagreements, with help from a Toronto marriage
counselor, like myself, Ellen Starr.

• www.ellenstarrmarriagecounselling.ca
  
  416-488-3102

12
Marriage counselling is not just for couples that
have drifted apart and are attempting to salvage
the marriage instead of getting divorced.

• www.ellenstarrmarriagecounselling.ca
  
  416-488-3102

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For instance, if there has even been something
you wanted to share with your loved one, but
didnt know how, or thought it might upset them,
counselling can help you develop the skills
needed so you are more willing and open to share
what is on your mind.

• www.ellenstarrmarriagecounselling.ca
  
  416-488-3102

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Learning how to actively listen and respond to
what your spouse says during an argument or
disagreement will help you respond in a more
positive manner, without the yelling and
shouting.

• www.ellenstarrmarriagecounselling.ca
  
  416-488-3102

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Oftentimes, what set off your loved one is not
really what is wrong, rather just an opportunity
for them to let you know they were upset.

• www.ellenstarrmarriagecounselling.ca
  
  416-488-3102

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Furthermore, some couples use an attacking
method when arguing where they find fault with
each other. Again, this is counterproductive as
it never helps the couple to figure out what the
real issues are.

• www.ellenstarrmarriagecounselling.ca
  
  416-488-3102

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A much better approach to use is one where you
listen to what was said, ask qualifying questions
to dive deeper into the problem, and clarify what
your loved one said.

• www.ellenstarrmarriagecounselling.ca
  
  416-488-3102

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These types of active listening/communication
skills are also learned through marriage
counselling. If you are tired of shouting and
yelling during an argument and want to know what
is really bothering your loved one,

• www.ellenstarrmarriagecounselling.ca
  
  416-488-3102

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then contact me, Ellen Starr at 416-488-3102 to
arrange an initial consultation appointment
today! Source - http//www.ellenstarrmarriageco
unselling.ca/developing-constructive-conversation-
address-disagreements/

• www.ellenstarrmarriagecounselling.ca
  
  416-488-3102