He Said She Said

1
He Said She Said

• Gender and Communication

2
Gender Differences in Communication

• Speaking style can depend on age, education,
  upbringing, and gender
• Debate vs. Relate
• Report vs. Rapport
• Competitive vs. Cooperative
• No absolutes!

3
What the Playing Field looks like(Tannen, 1994)

• Differences in how girls and boys engage in
  sports
• How mistakes are viewed
• Teamwork vs. individual performance
• Can relate to work and school environment

4
What the Playing Field looks like(Tannen, 1994)

• Two sexes very similar in abilities, but
  interactions become different partly due to
  socialization
• Children prefer to play with others of same sex,
  girls wary of boys
• Girls often bystanders in classrooms, while boys
  are active participants
• Girls and boys treated differently in mixed groups

5
Sorry Seems to be the Easiest Word(Tannen, 1994)

• Women more likely to say sorry as a way to
  restore balance
• Actually expressing sympathy rather than
  responsibility
• Can make women appear unconfident and one-down
• Apologize more to women than men

Im Sorry!
6
Sorry Seems to be the Hardest Word(Tannen, 1994)

• Very few apologies to other men, and slightly
  more to women
• Appearance is important
• Apologies can be interpreted as weakness and
  fault

7
What do you think? (Tannen, 1994)

• Ritual of asking others for their opinion in
  decision making
• Really want others to get heard, not solve
  problem
• Can cause confusion and resentment

8
Whats So Funny? (Tannen, 1994)

• Men and women prefer different types of humor
• Men tease, razz, and make mock attacks
• Women more commonly mock themselves
• Women can be taken more seriously when joking
  with the guys
• Fitting in with the guys can alienate other
  women, though

9
Same Song, Different Verse (Tannen, 1994)

• Women also use more disclaimers, speak at lower
  volumes, and try to use less time
• E-mail messages can also exhibit gender
  differences
• Saying the same thing, but just in
• different ways
• Public speaking also reflective of
• gender styles

10
Not Wrong, Just Different (Tannen, 1994)

• Problems arise when styles differ
• Engaging in rituals of conversation can be
  detrimental if others arent observing the same
  rules
• Not easy to talk differently, but can be worth
  the effort
• Be careful of stereotypes, and dont take ways of
  speaking too literally
• Talking is a way of showing character
• Understanding what goes on when people talk is
  the best way to improve communication