Gender Issues

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Gender Issues
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Some Statistics from U.S. Universities . . .

• 62 of college females report having been
  sexually harassed at their university.

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• 61 of college males have been sexually harassed
  at their university.

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• 10 or less of student sexual harassment victims
  attempt to report their experiences to a
• university employee.
• 35 or more of college students who experience
  sexual harassment do not tell anyone about their
  experiences.

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So What Exactly is Sexual Harassment?

• Unwanted sexual advances
• Demands for sexual favors in exchange for
  something
• Repeated sexual jokes, flirtations, advances or
  propositions
• Public displays of sexually suggestive objects or
  images
• If it makes you feel uncomfortable and if you ask
  for a person to stop something and they refuse,
  it is sexual harassment.

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Sexual Harassment
Flirting

• Reciprocal
• Is a compliment
• Feel in control
• Wanted
• Open
• Flattering
• Positive esteem

• One-sided
• Is degrading
• Feel powerless
• Unwanted
• Invading
• Demeaning
• Negative esteem

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How does it make you feel?

• Are you being harassed?
• Ask yourself, do I feel attractive, complimented,
  wanted, flattered, and positive? then it is not
  harassment
• If you feel degraded, powerless, invaded,
  unwanted, or negative, then you are being
  harassed.

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Sexual Harassment Facts

• Victim as well as the harasser may be a woman or
  a man. The victim does not have to be of the
  opposite sex.
• The victim does not have to be the person
  harassed but could be anyone affected by the
  offensive conduct.
• Unlawful sexual harassment may occur without
  economic injury to or discharge of the victim.
• The harassers conduct must be unwelcome.
• Sexual harassment includes verbal, nonverbal, and
  physical behavior.
• Unwanted or unwelcome jokes, gender-based slurs,
  and sexual contact all represent examples of
  sexual harassment.

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Confronting Harassment

• Name the behavior, Demand that the harassment
  stop.
• Reinforce your statements with strong,
  self-respecting body language
• End the interaction on your own terms, with a
  strong closing statement, You heard me, stop
  harassing me.
• The individuals behavior is the issue. Dont
  make excuses for him dont pretend it didnt
  really happen.
• Tell someone, anyone that you trust. Be
  persistent.
• Hold the harasser accountable for his actions.
  Privacy protects harassers, but visibility
  undermines them.
• Remind yourself that sexual harassment is wrong
  and it is not your fault. Do not ignore what is
  happening to you and hope it will stop.
• Interrupt any harassment you observe and tell
  someone you trust. Do not be a bystander.

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FAQs for Sexual Harassment

• The next few slides discuss reactions and answers
  to common questions individuals may have about
  sexual harassment.

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But how can I tell, especially ahead of time?

• To anticipate if your behavior is or could be
  sexual harassment, you need to ask yourself if it
  might be unwelcome. All sexual harassment is, by
  definition, unwelcome.
• Therefore, behavior of a sexual nature that is
  unwelcome may be sexual harassment.

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I didn't mean anything by it. It was just a joke.
Doesn't that matter?

• If someone doesn't mean to hurt anyone's feelings
  by "harmless" joking, he or she may still be
  guilty of sexually harassing behavior. The
  determination of whether a behavior is sexually
  harassing is not based on how it is intended, but
  on how it is received. "It was just a joke" is
  not an excuse for sexual harassment.
• People often have such different perspectives on
  behaviors that it is easy to offend someone
  through ill-considered attempts at humor, teasing
  or sarcasm. Before taking risks, make certain
  that your behavior is welcome.

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Isn't she being just a little too sensitive? Or,
am I being too sensitive?

• Over-sensitivity is an opinion. None of us can
  really know how another feels. Remember that it
  is the impact of your behavior, and not your
  intent, that matters. Even if you cannot imagine
  why the person is offended, accept and honor his
  or her feelings as legitimate. If you think
  your humor or teasing might be offending someone,
  STOP it immediately, even though you think the
  person is being too sensitive.
• Your opinions and feelings are important. The
  offenders may not be intending any harm with
  their joking, but if you are bothered by their
  conduct, you have a right to voice your
  objections.

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If I just ignore him, he'll stop.

• Ignoring behavior will rarely cause it to stop.
  The perpetrator may interpret your silence as
  acceptance or even encouragement. To confront a
  harasser, describe the behavior, how it makes you
  feel, and what action you want taken.

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Does "No" always mean NO?

• When someone says "No," accept that at face
  value. It is not worth risking sexually harassing
  behavior. Bottom line "NO" always does mean
  "NO."

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Isn't she asking for it when she dresses that way?

• Each individual has a responsibility to dress
  appropriately however, regardless of what a
  person wears, others do not have a right to
  sexually harass that person.
• Interestingly, this raises the point that an
  individual who frequently dresses in tight and
  scanty clothing may be accused of subjecting
  co-workers to a hostile work environment.

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What's so wrong with sexy pictures?

• Sexually oriented objects and visuals, such as
  pinups, calendars and centerfolds from sex
  magazines, portray people as sexual objects in
  demeaning circumstances.
• They create an offensive, intimidating, and
  hostile work environment and create the potential
  for a sexual harassment complaint.

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Respect Rights of Others

• Listen to the messages your partner is giving. Be
  sensitive to both verbal and nonverbal
  communication.
• The absence of the word "no" does not constitute
  consent. Make sure you have consent by asking
  your partner what they want to do. If your
  partner seems confused or unsure, it's time to
  stop.
• Remember that having done something sexual
  previously is not a blanket "yes" for the future.
• Remember that your partner can change "yes" to
  "no" at any time. Respect their choice.
• Know which behaviors constitute rape and sexual
  assault, and understand that most incidents
  happen between people who know each other.

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Keep Yourself Safe

• Think about what you really want from a partner
  before a possibly uncomfortable or dangerous
  situation occurs.
• Communicate clearly. You have the right to say
  "no" or "I'm not sure."
• Go to a party with friends, not alone. Keep track
  of your friends and leave with them. Don't leave
  alone or with someone you don't know well.
• If you choose to drink, be responsible. Alcohol
  consumption greatly increases the risk of sexual
  assault.
• Know what's in your drink, whether it's
  non-alcoholic or contains alcohol. Take
  precautionary measures to be sure that no one has
  tampered with your drink
• If something happens, get help. There are many
  resources to help you recover from painful
  experiences.

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Look Out for the Safety of Friends

• If a friend decides to leave a party with someone
  else, talk to them about their safety. If you are
  worried about someone, it's ok to try to protect
  them from harm.
• If someone seems highly intoxicated,
• call Safety Services or your RA on duty.
• Learn more about sexual assault, rape, and how to
  help a friend who may have been assaulted.
• If a friend discloses to you that they have been
  sexually assaulted, don't take it all on
  yourself. Use on or off campus resources for
  advice and support for your friend and for
  yourself.

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Im Afraid to Complain

• Consider the many reasons why you SHOULD complain
  
• if you feel you are being sexually harassed. For
  instance
• It is your legal right to be free from sexual
  harassment
• Others may also be offended by the behavior but
  also uncomfortable about complaining.
• The harasser may have victimized or offended
  others in the past and will continue to do so if
  someone doesn't speak up.
• You are not going to 'get the harasser into
  trouble.' (S)He has gotten himself into trouble.
• Harassers often count on the victim feeling too
  embarrassed or powerless too scared or too nice
  to complain about harassing behavior and If you
  don't complain, the harassment you are
  experiencing will not stop.
• If you dont stand up for yourself and report it,
  do it for the next person that might have to
  suffer. If you stop it from reoccurring, you save
  all the people that come after you.

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Sexual Harassment at Work or in the Classroom

• An employer or professor forcing you to do
  anything sexual or that makes you feel
  uncomfortable by threatening you with your job or
  your grades.
• By law, the University is responsible for the
  actions of its employees (supervisor misconduct).
  Individuals (in Ohio) can also be personally
  responsible.
• University policy also states that deliberate
  indifference or failure to address the situation
  are not allowed. If you feel this is occurring,
  follow up with someone else.

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Be Safe, Not Sorry

• The next few slides give some advice on how to
  stay safe in different situations.

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Dorm Rooms

• Bring a friend with you
• Keep the door open
• Dont sit on the bed and keep space between you
• Keep the lights on
• Make noise
• Dont be sweet-talked
• Have a friend come check on you in x minutes

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Walking Alone

• Keep to lighted areas
• Dont use a cell or walkman
• Walk in groups
• Keep your head up
• Walk towards people if uncomfortable
• Tell someone where you are going/when you will
  get there
• If attacked scream Fire not Help

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In General

• Ask a friend for help have a signal
• Leave a situation if not in control
• Call Safety Services, or a friend, to let them
  know where you are
• Give time frames to people and keep in touch
• Speak up if you feel uncomfortable
• Be open with your thoughts
• Run toward people if you are in trouble
• Be assertive and direct, this will make you seem
  less insecure
• Go places with a friend or a group
• Follow your intuition
• Protect yourself first

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Cultural Differences

• Some mannerisms by US citizens may be different
  from what you have experienced in your culture.
• It is important to be aware of what these
  interactions mean.

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Public Displays of Affection (PDA)

• In normal situations, Americans tend to avoid
  "Public Displays of Affection", or "PDAs" between
  friends of the same or different sex. In general,
  Americans do not hug or hold hands with their
  friends in public areas unless it is some special
  occasion.  PDAs may lead to lead Americans to
  misunderstand the nature of your friendship when
  in public. In private, Americans may hug or hold
  hands with their friends. 
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• Romantic partners may show PDA's, but only within
  limits hand holding and short kisses in public
  are OK, but prolonged kissing and other
  activities are considered offensive, and even
  strangers may ask them to stop.

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Romantic Relationships

• Romantic relationships may seem very different
  from your own country. Relationships between men
  and women in the US are very informal compared to
  other cultures and there is a great deal of
  interaction between the sexes. This informality
  should not be misunderstood.
• Dating is acceptable between people, and is
  usually arranged with an informal invitation from
  a man, although it is increasingly acceptable for
  a woman to give the invitation.
• Accepting or offering a "date" does not signify a
  deep interest in the other individual or a
  continued system of meetings, or that you are
  interested in marriage, or a serious or sexual
  relationship.
• People often get together to go to movies or to
  dinner to have a good time and to get to know
  someone. Most Americans will date many people and
  regard them as friends. 
• Honesty and sensitivity are the best guides to
  get you through any romantic situation in which
  you may be involved

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Marriage

• In the United States, marriage normally happens
  only after a person has had several romantic
  relationships. Only the two people in the
  relationship can make decisions about carrying
  the relationship further family members
  including parents have very little influence in
  any marriage decisions. 

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Sexual Relationships

• Sexual relationships are common when two people
  become romantically involved. Sexual
  relationships can be very difficult and
  dangerous. You should take time to think, and get
  advice from a trusted friend, counselor or
  advisor before beginning a sexual relationship. 

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Other Differences in the US

• Some people prefer hugs, some like handshakes
  others do both, while others give a kiss.
• In any case, if they hold on too long, it is not
  normal.

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• Eye contact is a sign of respect.

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• A brief tap on the shoulder to get your attention
  or point you in a direction is normal.
• Longer touching or sliding hands on the shoulder
  are not okay.

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• Some people will touch the lower back to guide
  you allowing this is a personal decision.

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• Winking can be seen in a friendly or sexual
  manner.
• You may need to read the other signs being given.

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• Massaging of any sort can be a friendly gesture,
  but should usually be a warning sign.

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• An arm over the shoulder can be a sign of
  friendship or possession.

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• A quick squeeze on the arm can be someone showing
  support in a difficult time.