Gender and Workplace Communication

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Gender and Workplace Communication

• Total Career Makeover Series
• Kristina Horn Sheeler, PhD
• 18 February 2009

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Todays Objectives

• Consider the relationship between effective
  workplace communication and worker productivity,
  retention, and overall happiness.
• Gain an understanding of the different
  communication styles managers may use in the
  workplace and the corresponding value placed on
  each.
• Learn strategies leading to more effective
  workplace communication between women and men.

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Communication and the Bottom Line

• Productivity and Effectiveness
• Job Retention Rates
• Cost of replacing worker 150 of salary
• Happiness and Morale
• Harassment Issues
• Worker Injury, Sick Leave, Health Issues
• Sales, Negotiation, and Customer Service

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Your Perceptions

• What are your top three work-related priorities?
• What do you believe are the top three
  work-related priorities and strengths of the men
  / women with whom you work?
• What do you believe are the top three priorities
  of your workplace in general?

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Workplace Values

• Men
• Pay and Benefits
• Achievement and Success
• Status and Authority
• Strengths of Men at Work
• Goal orientation
• Tangible accomplishments
• Problem solving
• Singleness of purpose
• Responsiveness to challenge

see "Tips for Better Communication Between Men
and Women in the Workplace" by Simma Lieberman
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Workplace Values

• Women
• Friends at Work and Relationships
• Recognition and Respect
• Communication and Collaboration
• Strengths of Women at Work
• Harmony, balance, nurturance, serenity,
  creativity, vision
• Teamwork and collaboration
• Detail oriented

see "Creating Healthy Corporate Cultures for Both
Genders," 2004 study for Lluminari
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Workplace Values

• Men more likely to emphasize
• How much they earn and how much control or power
  they have over what they are doing
• Women more likely to emphasize
• The congeniality of coworkers and the
  friendliness and relationships that surround them

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Who is Leadership Material?

• How do you define a leader?
• Which values and strengths identified earlier
  correspond with your view of leadership?
• Women are at a disadvantage.

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Women and Leadership

• 50 of management, professional and related
  occupations
• 15.6 of Fortune 500 Corporate Officers
• 14.6 of Fortune 500 Boards of Directors

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Women and Leadership Dilemmas

• Extreme Perceptions
• Too soft or too tough, but never just right
• My observations show senior women to be at
  either end of the spectrum. Drivers that do it
  themselves this type tends to give little
  recognition and is a perfectionist. The others
  are very effective delegators, giving lots of
  recognition and building loyal teams, but can be
  perceived as not tough enough.
• (U.S. man, age 35-44, level not specified)
• Also see Deborah Tannens
• Talking from 9 to 5.

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Women and Leadership Dilemmas

• Higher Competence / Lower Rewards
• Work harder to achieve the same or less reward or
  recognition
• Men and women are seen differently, and the
  difference in my experience and observation is
  that we (women) need to show it more times before
  they believe it. With a woman, they will want to
  see the behavior repeated more frequently before
  they will say that this is really part of the
  woman and her capabilities. (European woman,
  high-potential manager)

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Women and Leadership Dilemmas

• Competent but Disliked
• It may just be that people are more sensitive
  to how women behave. There does seem to be a
  little more tolerance for harsh behavior from men
  rather than women. Women are quicker to get
  labeled, and with men, its easier to brush it
  off (High-potential woman, U.S.-based
  manager)I have experienced in the past that
  women can be distrusted in leadership roles,
  especially when they use a dominant style of
  communication. On the contrary, if they use a
  collaborative style serving their organization
  and empowering people, they get more recognition
  and sincere appreciation from their male equals
  (Spanish man, age 31-35, middle management).

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Communication Styles Report and Rapport

• Based on what we learned growing up, we were
  socialized to display differences in
• The purpose of communication
• How, when, and how long to communicate
• How to communicate with subordinates, peers, and
  superiors
• Expectations for communication rituals
• Communicating about tasks vs. emotions
• How to process information and make decisions

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Rapport Style

• Indirect Style
• Use of Qualifiers, Succinct style
• Apologizing
• Taking Blame
• Thanks
• Maintaining an Appearance of Equality,
  Downplaying Qualifications
• Considering the Other Person, Relationship
• Downplaying Authority

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Report Style

• Direct Requests
• Longer Talk at Meetings
• Ritual Fighting, Teasing, Banter
• Giving Advice to Solve Problems rather than
  Showing Support
• Mixing Business and Non-business talk
• Rarely Give Praise or Compliments
• Avoiding the One-down Position, Downplaying Doubts

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Report and Rapport at Work Direct Meets Indirect
Style

• Amy is a manager who just read a report written
  by Donald. The report was inadequate. Amy faced
  the task of telling him to do it over. When they
  met, Amy began by praising Donald, thinking that
  would help soften the blow, and she proceeded to
  tell him about the good things in the report.
  Then she explained what was lacking and what
  needed to be done to make it acceptable. She was
  pleased with the diplomatic way she handled the
  bad news. Thanks to her thoughtfulness, she
  believed, Donald was able to listen to her
  criticism and seemed to understand what was
  needed.
• All scenarios are taken from Talking from 9 to 5
  by Deborah Tannen or Mars and Venus at Work
  www.marsvenusatwork.com

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What To Do?

• Rapport Stylemake sure the other person
  understands your request. Be direct for those who
  understand and need it.
• Report Styleask for clarification to assure
  understanding of what is necessary and what is
  optional.

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Coming to Terms with Indirect Requests

• Maybe it would be a good idea to . . .
• It would be great if you could . . .
• Rapport Style Communicators expect these indirect
  suggestions to be followed.

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Are You Heard at Meetings?

• Do you use disclaimers Youve probably already
  thought of this but . . .
• Do you speak at a lower volume?
• Do you try to be succinct to avoid wasting time
  or the stereotype of talking too much?
• Reporters generally speak more often and for
  longer periods of time, even on e-mail.

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Certainty and Confidence

• Report Style more likely to downplay doubts
• Rapport Style more likely to downplay certainty

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Keep in Mind

• 1) If those comfortable with a rapport style
  conform to the social inhibition against
  boasting, they may appear less confident than
  they really are.
• 2) Women may modify their speech to take into
  account the impact of what they say on the other
  persons feelings. This is particularly the case
  among Caucasian women.

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Exerting Influence according to Report or
Rapport Style

• Rapport Style exerts influence indirectly based
  on the good of the group.
• Report Style exerts influence by jockeying for
  center stage, challenging those who get it, and
  deflecting challenges. Opinions are stated
  strongly.

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Considerations

• Do you downplay your authority while expecting
  others to respect it?
• Do you take more care not to offend subordinates
  than superiors?
• Is your concern independence or relationships?
• Do others respect your authority or do they
  downplay it too?

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Verbal Opposition

• An female engineer among a team of men found she
  had to be willing to take her colleagues on in
  animated argument in order to be taken seriously.
  Once she did so, they accepted and respected her.
  For example, while becoming more and more angered
  by one of her teammates who argued against her
  point of view, this women rose to her feet and
  delivered a well-reasoned attack on his position.
  She sat down in a panic, certain she had
  permanently damaged their relationship and
  alienated others. To her surprise, he came up to
  her after the meeting and said, That was a great
  rebuttal. Im really impressed. Lets go out for
  a beer after work and hash out our approaches to
  the problem.

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Advice

• Stick to the position, not the relationship
• Stand up for your position
• Support with evidence, the facts
• Be direct
• Manage emotions
• Dont apologize

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Rapport Style Ritual Apology

• Means of restoring balance
• May be interpreted as admitting fault
• May leave you in a one-down position

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Rapport Style Asking, then Deciding

• Do you ask others for their opinions before
  making a decision or do you simply assume that
  anyone who disagrees with you will voice his/her
  opinion, so silence is taken as agreement?
• Asking gets others involved. It can also suggest
  lack of competence.

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• More Direct
• Longer Meeting Talk
• Task-oriented
• Independence
• Sports, Politics Talk
• Downplay Doubts
• Verbal Opposition
• Solve Problems when Something Wrong
• Independent Decision-maker

• Less Direct
• Disclaimers, Succinct Meeting Talk
• Relationship-oriented
• Personal Talk
• Downplay Certainty
• Ritual Apology
• Give Praise when Something Right
• Collaborative Decision-maker

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Strategies for Communication Success

• Take these recommendations with a grain of
  salt.
• Stay aware
• Be aware of stereotypes
• Many styles can be effective
• Styles are strategies

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Women Neutral Authoritative Style

• Dont act like a man
• Be succinct, but not abrupt
• Avoid tag questions, apologies, disclaimers
• Take credit
• Give updates
• Reduce personal disclosure and problems
• Handle conflict directly, politely, with empathy

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Neutral Authoritative Style

• Make some decisions independently
• Avoid strong displays of emotion
• When interrupted, be direct and courteous to take
  back the floor
• Liking isnt always required to accomplish the
  task
• Dont get bogged down in details
• Communicate your vision
• Be flexible

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How Can Report Style Communicate with Rapport
Style?

• Dont Assume Indirect Less Competent
• Insert a little disclosure when appropriate
• Maintain direct, but not constant eye contact
• Say please and thank you once in a while
• Avoid interrupting, actively listen
• Offer details more often

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How Can Report Style Communicate with Rapport
Style?

• Ask others for input
• Watch for nonverbal signs
• Recognize intentions may be different from words
• Say Im sorry once in a while show empathy
• Dont underestimate someone who doesnt talk
  about accomplishments
• Be flexible

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Conclusions

• Effective communication impacts the bottom line
• We all carry our stereotypes and biases into the
  workplace.
• Understanding is the key
• Be open to a variety of communication strategies
• Dont fall into either / or thinking

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For more information

• Kristina Horn Sheeler, PhD
• Associate Professor of Communication Studies
• IUPUI
• 317.278.3161
• ksheeler_at_iupui.edu