Chapter Four

1
Chapter Four
Love, Intimacy, and Sexual Communication
2
Historical Perspectives

• Arrange Marriages
• Dowries
• Bundling
• Marriage for Love and Intimacy

3
Establishing Early Intimacy

• Field of Eligibles
• Physical Attractiveness
• The Beautiful is Better Bias
• The Effect of Media
• The Matching Hypothesis
• Proximity
• Proximity Effect
• Mere Exposure Effect
• Similarity
• Flirting
• Reciprocity of Attraction

4
John Lees Styles of Love

• The Six Styles
• Eros Love
• Ludus Love
• Storge Love
• Mania Love
• Pragma Love
• Agape Love
• Combining Love Styles

5
John Lees Styles of Love (cont.)
6
Robert Sternbergs Triangular Theory of Love

• The Three Components
• Intimacy
• Passion
• Commitment

7
Robert Sternbergs Triangular Theory of Love

• Possible Combinations of the Three Components
• Liking (I)
• Infatuation (P)
• Empty Love (C)
• Romantic Love (I P)
• Fatuous Love (P C)
• Companionate Love (I C)
• Consummate Love (I, P C)
• Applying the Triangular Theory

8
Communication In Love Relationships

• Self-Disclosure How Much Should You Reveal About
  Yourself?
• Behavioral Attributions Why Did You Do That?
• Relationship-enhancing Attributions
• Distress-maintaining Attributions
• Patterns of Effective Communication
• Validating Communication
• Volatile Communication
• Conflict-avoiding Communication

9
Communication In Love Relationships (cont.)

• Communication Warning Signs
• Criticism
• Contempt
• Defensiveness
• Stonewalling
• Improving Communication
• Understanding Intimate Communication Six Simple
  Truths
• Enhancing Intimate Communication Five Rules

10
Sexual Communication

• Sexual Self-disclosure
• Barriers
• Lack of Information
• Embarrassment
• Insecurity About Using the Right Words
• Sexual Taboos
• Fear of Judgment
• Fear of Rejection
• Strategies for Improving Sexual Communication

11
Losing Love Ten Reasons Why Relationships Fail

• Lack of Self-knowledge
• Acceptance of Sexual Myths and Stereotypes
• Ineffective Communication
• Imbalances of Decision-making Power
• Low Self-esteem, Insecurity and Lack of
  Self-confidence
• Isolation
• Failing to Keep Promises, Lying, or Cheating
• Excessive Jealousy (Normal vs. Delusional)
• Control Issues
• Violence

12
Abusive and Violent Relationships

• Types of Relationship Abuse
• Physical
• Verbal
• Emotional
• In Touch with Your Sexual Health Signs of
  Relationship Abuse
• Signs That You May Have an Abusive Partner
• Signs That You May Be an Abusive Partner

13
Abusive and Violent Relationships (cont.)
14
The Cycle of Violence and Abuse

• The Honeymoon Phase and/or the Beginning of the
  Relationship
• The Tension-building Phase
• Explosion
• Return to the Honeymoon Phase

15
Getting Out and Moving On

• Leaving a Violent Relationship
• The Temptation to Go Back
• Self-Discovery Your Criteria for a Healthy,
  Nonabusive Relationship
• What Qualities Do You Require?
• What Characteristics Are Unacceptable?
• Loving Again