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Divorce and Remarriage

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CHAPTER 15 Divorce and Remarriage Stages in Becoming a Stepfamily Fantasy Reality Being Assertive Strengthening Pair Ties Recurring Change Children in Stepfamilies ... – PowerPoint PPT presentation

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Title: Divorce and Remarriage


1
CHAPTER 15 Divorce and Remarriage
2
Chapter 15 Divorce and RemarriageIntroduction
  • In a sample of 2,922 undergraduates, 26 reported
    that their parents were divorced.
  • Discussion
  • Why do people get divorced? What are factors that
    might lead to divorce? What are potential
    advantages and disadvantages to divorce and
    remarriage?

3
Chapter 15 Divorce and RemarriageChapter Outline
  • Divorce
  • Micro Factors Contributing to Divorce
  • Consequences of Divorce for Spouses/Parents
  • Consequences of Divorce for Children
  • Conditions of a Successful Divorce
  • Remarriage
  • Stepfamilies
  • Children in Stepfamilies
  • Developmental Tasks for Stepfamilies
  • The Future of Divorce and Remarriage

4
Divorce
  • Legal ending of a valid marriage contract
  • Characteristics that appear to affect divorce
    rates
  • Education
  • Age
  • Race
  • Religion
  • Previous Marriage

5
Divorce
  • Factors leading to a decrease in the divorce
    rate
  • Increase in the age of marriage
  • Increase in cohabitation rates

6
Divorce by Occupations
  • High- and Low-Risk Occupations for Divorce
  • Highest dancer/choreographer (43)
  • Bartender (38)
  • Lowest optometrist (4)
  • Next lowest clergy (5)
  • Other notable divorce rates nurses (29),
    sociologists (23), authors/teachers (15)

7
Ending an Unsatisfactory Relationship
  • Before ending a relationship, consider the
    following
  • Reviving and improving the relationship
  • Acknowledge and accept that terminating a
    relationship with be difficult and painful
  • In talking with your partner, blame yourself for
    the end
  • Cut off the relationship completely
  • Learn from the terminated relationship
  • Allow time to grieve over the end of the
    relationship
  • Clean your Facebook page
  • Data is unclear if remaining unhappily married or
    divorcing and remarrying has a more positive
    outcome for the spouses.

8
Macro Factors Contributing to Divorce
  • Increased Economic Independence of Women
  • Changing Family Functions and Structure
  • Liberal Divorce Laws
  • Fewer Moral and Religious Sanctions
  • More Divorce Models
  • Mobility and Anonymity
  • Ethnicity and Culture

9
Divorce in Other Cultures
10
Divorce in Other Countries
11
Divorce Top 30 Factors
  • Courtship of less than two years
  • Having little in common
  • Marrying at 17 or younger
  • Differences in race, education, age, religion,
    social class, values, and libido
  • Not being religiously devout
  • A cohabitation history with different partners
  • Previous marriage
  • No children
  • Limited education
  • Urban residence

12
Divorce Top 30 Factors
  • Infidelity
  • Divorced parents
  • Poor communication skills
  • Unemployment of husband
  • Employment of wife
  • Mental or physical disability
  • Having seriously ill child
  • Low self-esteem of spouses
  • Being African American
  • Lack of commitment

13
Divorce Top 30 Factors
  1. Experiencing rape
  2. Having premarital pregnancy or unwanted child
  3. Stepchildren
  4. High debt or sudden loss of income
  5. Experiencing violence or abuse
  6. Having parents who never married
  7. Marrying someone who has been divorced
  8. Wife earns higher income than husband
  9. Falling out of love
  10. Bankruptcy

14
Micro Factors Contributing to Divorce
  • Differences
  • Falling Out of Love
  • Limited Time Together
  • Decrease in Positive Behavior
  • Affair
  • Lack of Conflict Resolution Skills
  • Value Changes
  • Satiation
  • Perception that One Would Be Happier if Divorced

15
Consequences of Divorce for Spouses/Parents
  • Women are significant more likely than men to
    report that they initiated the breakup
  • Men reported more difficulty than women did in
    adjusting to a breakup
  • The passage of time and involvement with a new
    partner were identified as the most helpful
    factors in getting over a love relationship that
    ended

16
Financial Consequences
  • Child Support
  • Alimony
  • Prenuptial Agreement
  • Postnuptial Agreement

17
Fathers Separation from Children
  • Divorce transforms family power from intact
    patriarchy to post-divorce matriarchy.
  • Finley (2004, F9)

18
Shared Parenting Dysfunction Examples
  • A parent who forced the children to sleep in a
    car to prove the other parent had bankrupted
    them.
  • After losing a court battle over custody of the
    children, a noncustodial parent burned down the
    house of the primary residential parent.
  • One divorcing parent bought a cat for the
    children because the other divorcing parent was
    highly allergic to cats.

19
Parental Alienation Syndrome
  • An alleged disturbance in which children are
    obsessively preoccupied with deprecation and/or
    criticism of a parent
  • Not a medical psychosis with specific criteria
  • Questioned by most researchers

20
Parental Alienation
  • Estrangement of a child from a parent
  • One parent may alienate a child from another
    parent
  • Minimizing contact
  • Exhibiting excessive boundaries
  • Having no concern for missed visits
  • Withholding affection
  • Granting autonomy to the point of indifference
  • Sign of alienation irrational behavior on the
    part of the child toward one parent

21
Consequences of Divorce for Children
  • Divorce is like two lions in a den attacking
    each other. You know somebody is going to get
    hurt real bad. All kids can do is sit behind a
    window and watch it happen.
  • -Anonymous nine-year-old boy

22
Consequences of Divorce on Children
  • Divorce can benefit children in high parental
    conflict homes
  • Can have negative psychological effect on
    children
  • Primary factor determining the effect of divorce
    on children is the degree to which the divorcing
    parents are civil

23
Who Gets the Children?
  • Legal Custody
  • Physical Custody (Visitation)
  • Joint Custody

24
Who Gets the Children?
  • Factors determining custody
  • Childs age, maturity, sex, and activities,
    including culture and religion
  • Wishes of the child
  • Each parents capacity to care for the childs
    emotional, intellectual, financial, and religious
    needs
  • Parents ability to agree, communicate, and
    cooperate in matters relating to the child
  • Nature of the childs relationship to each parent
  • Protection for the child from physical or
    psychological harm
  • Past and present parental attitudes and behaviors
  • Proposed plan for caring for the child

25
Joint Custody
  • Family relations doctrine
  • 16 of separated and divorced couples have a
    joint custody agreement
  • Benefits
  • Less fighting between ex-spouses
  • Children benefit from the love and attention of
    both parents
  • Children have greater financial resources
    available
  • Stress is shared by both parents
  • Disadvantages
  • Put hostile ex-spouses in more frequent contact
    with each other

26
Minimizing Negative Effects of Divorce on Children
  • Healthy parental psychological functioning
  • A cooperative relationship between the parents
  • Parental attention to the children and allowing
    them to grieve
  • Encouragement to see noncustodial parent
  • Attention from the noncustodial parent

27
Minimizing Negative Effects of Divorce on
Children (cont.)
  • Assertion of parental authority
  • Regular and consistent child support payments
  • Stability
  • Children in a new marriage
  • Age and reflection on the part of children of
    divorce

28
Conditions of a Successful Divorce
  • Mediate rather than litigate the divorce
  • Co-parent with your ex-spouse
  • Take some responsibility for the divorce
  • Create positive thoughts
  • Avoid alcohol and other drugs
  • Engage in aerobic exercise
  • Continue interpersonal connections
  • Let go of the anger for your ex-partner
  • Allow time to heal

29
Remarriage
  • One-fourth of divorcées date someone new before
    the divorce is final
  • Those without children have a higher percentage
    of remarrying

30
Remarriage
  • Issues of Remarriage for the Divorced
  • Boundary maintenance
  • Emotional remarriage
  • Psychic remarriage
  • Community remarriage
  • Parental remarriage
  • Economic and legal remarriage

31
Remarriage
32
Stepfamilies
  • Blended, binuclear, remarried, or reconstituted
    families
  • Fastest growing type of family in the U.S.
  • Types of stepfamilies
  • Myths of stepfamilies
  • Unique aspects of stepfamilies

33
Stepfamilies in Theoretical Perspective
  • Structural-functional perspective
  • Integration or stability of the system is highly
    valued
  • Conflict perspective
  • Conflict in a stepfamily is desirable as it leads
    to equality and individual autonomy
  • Interactionist perspective
  • Emphasize meanings and interpretations that
    members of a stepfamily develop for events and
    interactions in the family

34
Stages in Becoming a Stepfamily
  1. Fantasy
  2. Reality
  3. Being Assertive
  4. Strengthening Pair Ties
  5. Recurring Change

35
Children in Stepfamilies
  • Feelings of abandonment
  • Divided loyalties
  • New discipline
  • Stepsiblings
  • Ambiguity of the extended family

36
Developmental Tasks for Stepfamilies
  • Nurture the new marriage relationship
  • Allow time for relationship between partner and
    children to develop
  • Have realistic expectations
  • Accept your stepchildren
  • Establish your own family rituals
  • Support the childrens relationship with their
    absent parent
  • Cooperate with the childrens biological parent
    and co-parent
  • Structural solutions to problems of stepfamily
    living
  • Stepfamily education Web-based program

37
Quick Quiz
  • Which of the following is not a macro factor of
    divorce?
  • value changes
  • liberalized divorce laws
  • women's economic independence
  • individualistic attitudes

38
Quick Quiz
  • What is a micro factor of divorce?
  • value changes
  • social pressures
  • religious beliefs
  • economic institutions

39
Quick Quiz
  • When the novelty of marriage wears off, couples
    usually experience
  • satiation
  • infidelity
  • increased happiness
  • boredom

40
Quick Quiz
  • The deliberate, systematic attempt to eliminate
    the psychological connection of the other parent
    in a child's life is called
  • maternal gate keeping
  • paternal alienation syndrome
  • maternal alienation syndrome
  • parental alienation syndrome

41
Quick Quiz
  • Compared with litigation, what is the key feature
    of divorce mediation?
  • There is lots of public exposure.
  • It is more expensive.
  • It fosters a better relationship between spouses.
  • It is more time consuming.
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