Unit 4 Seminar

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Unit 4 Seminar

• Body Language and Nonverbal Communication

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Importance of Nonverbal Communication

• Up to 85
• of communication
• is nonverbal!
• What you NOTICE can greatly help you understand
  the other person and navigate discussion
  accordingly

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OBSERVATION SKILLS ARE IMPORTANT, BECAUSE

• ?Verbals can be contrasted by nonverbals
  (incongruency) which reveal the other persons
  true feelings
• or supported by nonverbals (congruency)
  which accentuate the
  persons feelings
• Observation can help you bridge individual,
  cultural, and/or gender differences

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Nonverbal communication cues can play five roles

• Repetition repeat the message the person is
  making verbally
• Contradiction contradict a message the
  individual is trying to convey
• Substitution substitute for a verbal message.
  For example, a person's eyes can often convey a
  far more vivid message than words and often do
• Complementing add to or complement a verbal
  message. A boss who pats a person on the back in
  addition to giving praise can increase the impact
  of the message
• Accenting accent or underline a verbal message.
  Pounding the table, for example, can underline a
  message.

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Nonverbal communication and body language in
relationships

• It takes more than words to create fulfilling,
  strong relationships. Nonverbal communication has
  a huge impact on the quality of our
  relationships. Nonverbal communication skills
  improve relationships by helping you
• Accurately read other people, including the
  emotions theyre feeling and the unspoken
  messages theyre sending.
• Create trust and transparency in relationships by
  sending nonverbal signals that match up with your
  words.
• Respond with nonverbal cues that show others that
  you understand, notice, and care.

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For discussion

• When  you picture people you talk to on the
  telephone, through email or in newsgroups (such
  as in your Kaplan class) before meeting them face
  to face, does your expectation of how they will
  look usually turn out to be accurate?

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Types of nonverbal communication and body
language

• Facial expressions
• Body movements and posture
• Gestures
• Eye contact
• Touch
• Space
• Voice

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Its not what you say, its how you say it

• Intensity. A reflection of the amount of energy
  you project is considered your intensity. Again,
  this has as much to do with what feels good to
  the other person as what you personally prefer.
• Timing and pace. Your ability to be a good
  listener and communicate interest and involvement
  is impacted by timing and pace.
• Sounds that convey understanding. Sounds such as
  ahhh, ummm, ohhh, uttered with congruent eye
  and facial gestures, communicate understanding
  and emotional connection. More than words, these
  sounds are the language of interest,
  understanding and compassion.

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For discussion

• How are nonverbal cues displayed in computer
  mediated communication (emails and social
  networking sites)? 

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What To Observe In The Other Persons Nonverbal
Communication
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Notice Body Language
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How to Use Body Language Effectively

• USE
• Mirroring
• assume posture and movements of other person
• Pacing
• start with mirroring, then move to more positive
  posture/movement
• OBSERVE
• When movement is synchronous
• mirroring one anothers movements
• When movement is complementary
• harmonious movements
• When movement is dissynchronous
• differing movements that might show conflict

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Notice Facial Expression

• incongruent smiling
• look of confusion or being lost
• expressionless or flat affect
• affect demonstrating various moods or emotions
• blood flow changes (e.g. blushing or growing
  pale)
• avoiding eye contact, inconsistent eye contact,
  or intense staring
• grimacing, frowning
• eyes welling up
• tightening of lips
• agreement, understanding, connection, excitement

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Notice Eye Movements

• Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP)
• suggests that there is a link between
• the way our eyes move and the way we think
• In NLP, eye movements are known as eye accessing
  cuesthey enable us to access certain information
• Noticing eye movements can help us to understand
  how a person relates to the worldi.e. visually,
  auditorily, or kinestheticallyand communicate
  with them according to THEIR representational
  systems

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Eye Accessing Cues

• Looking up, or defocusing, usually represents
  visual accessing
• Looking sideways usually represents auditory
  accessing
• Looking down to the right (your left as you face
  the person) usually
• represents kinesthetic accessing
• Looking down to the left (your right as you face
  the person) usually represents an internal
  dialogue

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Applying accessing cues

• For those visually accessing, respond in terms of
  SEEING
• This is how you see it
• I see what you mean
• For those auditorily accessing, respond in terms
  of HEARING
• It sounds like you arent happy with that grade
• I hear what youre saying
• For those kinesthetically accessing, respond in
  terms of FEELING
• That must feel awful
• I feel happy for you

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For discussion

• What do nonverbal cues such as typos, slang,
  spelling errors, incomplete sentences, and poor
  sentence structure communicate to the receiver
  about the sender?

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Improving your nonverbal communication skills

• Video camera Videotape a conversation between
  you and a partner. Set the camera to record both
  of you at the same time, so you can observe the
  nonverbal back-and-forth. When you watch the
  recording, focus on any discrepancies between
  your verbal and nonverbal communication.
• Digital camera Ask someone to take a series of
  photos of you while youre talking to someone
  else. As you look through the photos, focus on
  you and the other persons body language, facial
  expressions, and gestures.
• Audio recorder Record a conversation between
  you and a friend or family member. As you listen
  to the recording afterwards, concentrate on the
  way things are said, rather than the words. Pay
  attention to tone, timing, pace, and other
  sounds.

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Tips for successful nonverbal communication

• Take a time out if youre feeling overwhelmed by
  stress. Stress compromises your ability to
  communicate. When youre stressed out, youre
  more likely to misread other people, send off
  confusing or off-putting nonverbal signals, and
  lapse into unhealthy knee-jerk patterns of
  behavior. Take a moment to calm down before you
  jump back into the conversation. Once youve
  regained your emotional equilibrium, youll be
  better equipped to deal with the situation in a
  positive way.
• Pay attention to inconsistencies. Nonverbal
  communication should reinforce what is being
  said. If you get the feeling that someone isnt
  being honest or that something is off, you may
  be picking up on a mismatch between verbal and
  nonverbal cues. Is the person is saying one
  thing, and their body language something else?
  For example, are they telling you yes while
  shaking their head no?
• Look at nonverbal communication signals as a
  group. Dont read too much into a single gesture
  or nonverbal cue. Consider all of the nonverbal
  signals you are sending and receiving, from eye
  contact to tone of voice and body language. Are
  your nonverbal cues consistentor
  inconsistentwith what you are trying to
  communicate?

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• SOMECULTURAL DIFFERENCES

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Eye Contact and Gaze

• Western cultures
• Direct eye contact seen as positive
• Differs for some races
• African Americanmore eye contact when talking,
  less when listening
• Anglo Americansoften the opposite
• Prolonged eye contact may be seen as sexual
  interest
• Arabic cultures
• Prolonged eye contact is common
• Shows interest
• Helps them understand truthfulness
• Japan, African, Latin American, Caribbean
  cultures
• Avoid eye contact to show respect

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Facial Expressions

• Many Asian cultures
• Suppress facial expression
• as much as possible
• Many Mediterranean cultures
• Exaggerate grief or sadness
• Most American men
• Hide grief and sorrow

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Touch

• Western Cultures
• Handshake is common
• Hugs, kisses for those of opposite gender, family
• Some differences between African American Anglo
  Americans
• Islamic/Hindu cultures
• Typically dont touch with left hand
• Generally dont touch between genders with same
  sexes is appropriate
• Common to see two men or two women holding hands
  (friendship)
• Many Asian cultures
• Dont touch the head because it houses the soul
• Latino, Middle-Eastern, Jewish cultures
• Touch is okayemotion encouraged
• Opposite-sex handshakes acceptable usually
  same-sex
• English, German, Scandinavian, Chinese Japanese
  cultures
• Do not subscribe to overt displays of affection

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Posture

• Bowing
• Not done, criticized, or affected in US
• Shows rank in Japan
• Slouching
• Rude in most Northern European areas
• Hands in pocket
• Disrespectful in Turkey
• Sitting with legs crossed
• Offensive in Ghana, Turkey
• Showing the soles of feet
• Distasteful in Thailand, Saudi Arabia

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Personal Space

• In this picture we see a woman's reactions as
  her personal space is invaded by three other
  people. What will happen?

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• a. She will ask them to sit somewhere else
• b. She will stare at the space "invaders"
  defiantly, but she will not move
• c. She will leave, saying nothing to the three
  people who invaded her personal space

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Appearance and Self-Image

• This man comes from a culture where HEAVIER women
  are seen as more attractive. Can you guess where
  he comes from?

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• a. Jamaicab. New Guineac. Ivory Coast

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• While traveling in another country, this American
  woman stayed with a local family. She was honored
  by being served the 'best part' of the dinner a
  bowl of solid, coagulated chicken blood. Can you
  guess the country she was visiting?

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• a. Greenlandb. Vietnamc. Uruguay

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• Can you guess the meaning of this Japanese
  gesture?

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• a. I'm scared like a bunnyb. I've been hearing
  things about youc. I'm angry

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• In this picture, an experienced flight attendant
  demonstrates a facial expression she uses at
  work. Is she performing genuine warmth, or is it
  concealed irritation?

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• a. Genuine Warmthb. Concealed Irritation