How do we Actually Teach Emotional Intelligence?

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How do we Actually Teach Emotional Intelligence?

• Higher Education Symposium on Emotional
  Intelligence
• October 2-3, 2008
• Deborah Seaburg, Ph. D.
• Counseling Personal Growth Center
• Minnesota State University Moorhead
• seaburg_at_mnstate.edu

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Goals for Today

• Outline one-credit undergraduate personal
  development course in emotional intelligence
• Focus on specific classroom activities designed
  to teach EI
• Share ideas and strategies with each other

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Counseling Concerns MSUM 2007-08

• Depression
• Career choice
• Anxiety
• Academic issues (study skills, lack of
  motivation)
• Relationships
• Self-esteem
• Family issues
• Stress Management
• Anger
• Financial problems

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Withdrawal Factors MSUM 2007-08

• Academic Reasons
• Not emotionally ready
• Major undecided
• Not academically prepared
• Time management problems
• Lack of motivation
• Personal Considerations
• Emotional health
• Personal health
• Relationship problems
• Family responsibilities
• Adjustment to college life/Homesick

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Emotionally Reactive vs. Intelligent
Students(Nelson Low, 2003)

• Resilient
• Proactive, planned responses to stress
• Intentional reflective behavior
• Self-confident
• Strength-focused

• Overwhelmed too often
• Reactive to stress
• Emotionally driven behavior
• Self-doubting
• Deficit and weakness focused

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Reactive vs. Emotionally Intellligent Students
continued

• Resistant to change
• Aggressive, nonassertive communicator
• Performance decreases under stress
• Pessimistic, negative focus
• Makes the same mistakes

• Flexible, open to change
• Assertive communicator
• Performance increases under stress
• Optimistic, positive, focus
• Learns from experience

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Emotional Intelligence Defined

• An array of non-cognitive capabilities,
  competencies and skills that influence ones
  ability to succeed in coping with environmental
  demands and pressures
• Reuven BarOn
• A persons ability to understand his or her own
  emotions and the emotions of others and to act
  appropriately based on this understanding
• Mayer Salovey (1990)

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PDEV 107 Emotional Intelligence

• Course Description Research indicates that
  success in your career depends on your ability to
  manage your and others emotions. Assess your
  emotional intelligence, exploring your emotional
  self-awareness, relationships, adaptability,
  stress tolerance and optimism. Identify ways to
  improve your Emotional IQ.
• 1 credit, 8 weeks, 15 75-minute sessions

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PDEV 105 Course Objectives

• Course Objectives
• Discuss main theoretical bases and research
  supporting the concept of Emotional Intelligence
• Assess and understand own levels of EI
• Identify the significance of EI in work, family
  and relationships, and academic success
• Apply specific strategies to improve selected
  aspects of their emotional intelligence

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PDEV 105Course Requirements

• Attendance
• Journals
• Happiness Project
• Final Paper Reflection on own strengths and
  areas for improvement and Action Plan for
  enhancing EI

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PDEV 105Required Materials

• BarOn EQi
• Stein, S. J. Book, H. E. (2006). The EQ Edge.
  Toronto, ON Jossey-Bass
• (Alternative text) Nelson, D. B Low, G. R.
  (2003). Emotional Intelligence Achieving
  Academic and Career Excellence. Columbus, OH
  Prentice Hall

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BarOn Model of Emotional Competencies

• INTRAPERSONAL
• Self-regard
• Self-awareness
• Assertiveness
• Independence
• Self-actualization
• INTERPERSONAL
• Empathy
• Social responsibility
• Interpersonal relationship

• ADAPTABILITY
• Reality testing
• Flexibility
• Problem solving
• STRESS MANAGEMENT
• Stress tolerance
• Impulse control
• GENERAL MOOD
• Optimism
• Happiness

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Introduction to EI

• Get to know each other
• Emotion face cards I felt___ when___.
• Redefine Intelligence IQ vs. EQ
• Characteristics of Success
• EI Theories
• Internet Assignment
• http//ivos.ivillage.com/assessment/emotionaliq
• www.queendom.com/emotionaliq/html

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The Emotional Mind

• Mind-Body connection with Emotion
• Lemon Visualization
• Angry Pulse
• Emotional System (Linehan, 1993)
• Thought vs. Feeling
• Wise Mind
• ABCDE Model

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Introduction to EI Activity The ABCDE Model

• Activating Event
• Beliefs about that event
• Consequences
• Debate, Dispute, or Discard
• Effects
• Source Stein and Book (2006) The EQ Edge.
  Jossey-Bass

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Intrapersonal Emotional Self-Awareness

• The ability to recognize, understand, and
  describe ones feelings and emotions,
  differentiate between them and know what caused
  them and why
• How do you Feel about Feelings?
• Identify family messages and rules about
  emotional expression
• Cultural/gender expression
• Building an Emotional Vocabulary
• Primary emotions, mixed emotions
• Intensities

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Emotional Vocabulary Exercise

• Divide into teams. Each team gets list of 20
  emotions and writes definitions on board. First
  team finished wins.
• Class then reviews definitions, discusses how
  they might add to or differ, give examples of
  situations they have experienced this emotion.

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Self Awareness continued

• Recalling Feelings Journal
• For a week keep track of your strongest emotion
  each day. Write down accompanying bodily
  sensations and thoughts and how you recognized
  that emotion.
• Talk About My Feelings cards
• Music Connection
• Share music that elicits an emotional connection.
  How do we use music to manage emotional energy?

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Self Awareness Exercise Emotional Lifeline

• On blank sheet of paper draw a line representing
  your life from birth to now (or into future).
• What events, people, activities, etc. contributed
  to your emotional highs and lows?
• What did you learn about yourself?
• How can you use this information?

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Intrapersonal Self-Regard

• The ability to look at and understand oneself,
  respect and accept oneself, accepting ones
  perceived positive and negative aspects as well
  as ones limitations and possibilities
• Affirmations and Self-Nurturing Activities
• Best Friend Introductions

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Self-Regard Activity Head and Shoulders

• Each person tapes a sheet of newsprint on wall
  and a partner outlines their head and shoulders
  with a marker.
• Fills in the outline with your strengths,
  challenges, hopes and fears.
• Class then rotates around the room and initials
  characteristics with which they identify on
  everyone elses profile.
• After reclaiming own profiles discuss following
  questions
• What are common themes?
• What is unique about you?
• What was impact of this exercise on you?

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Intrapersonal Self-Actualization

• The ability to realize ones potential capacities
  and to strive to do that which one wants to do
  and enjoys doing.
• Maslow Need Hierarchy and Flow
• Setting Goalsfor school, for work, for life!
• Results vs. Activity orientation (destination vs.
  journey)
• SMART goals
• Dreams/Values/Goals
• How would you spend your time if you didnt have
  to work?
• What do you want to achieve in college? In life?
• Write obituary

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Self-Actualization Activity Your Best Possible
Self

• Take 20-30 minutes to think about how you expect
  your life to be 1, 5 or 10 years from now.
  Visualize a future in which everything has turned
  out the way you wanted. Youve worked hard,
  tried your best and achieved all your goals.
  Now write down what you imagine that life to be
  like.
• Source The How of Happiness by Sonja
  Lyubomirsky (2008). Penguin Press

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Intrapersonal Assertiveness

• The ability to express feelings, beliefs, and
  thoughts and defend ones rights in a
  nondestructive way
• Saying No Staying Friends
• Dealing with Professors
• Assertion vs. Aggression vs. Passiveness
• I feel statements
• Passive and aggressive reactions on note cards to
  be discussed by group

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Intrapersonal Independence

• The ability to be self-reliant and self-directed
  in thought and action, may ask for and consider
  the advice of others, but rarely depend on others
  to make important decisions or do things for them
• Identify activities that are difficult to do
  alone. What are thoughts that make this
  difficult? Use ABCDE to identify alternative
  thoughts and create plan of graded steps to
  increase independence.
• Decision Making and Self-confidence
• Leadership

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Interpersonal Empathy

• The ability to be attentive to, to understand,
  and to appreciate the feelings of othersbeing
  able to emotionally read other people.
• What empathy is not
• Thinking about Others Feelings cards
• Emotion Charades
• Empathy cards (6seconds Emotional Intelligence
  Network)

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Empathy Cards

• Studying is for the birds. I only pretend to do
  it to impress the girls. Its too much hard
  work. I do okay I mean its not like grades
  matter anyway.

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Empathy Card

• Yes! That was the 3rd workout today! I bet Ive
  lost at least another 4 pounds. My mom says Im
  anorexic, but Im not. I just want to be
  beautiful.

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Empathy Card

• Chris and I are in love and plan to get married
  but we have to keep it a secret because our
  parents will never accept us.

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Interpersonal Social Responsibility

• The ability to demonstrate oneself as a
  cooperative, contributing, and constructive
  member of ones social group.
• Identify layers of community
• Brainstorm activities available to college
  students that contribute to community

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Ways I contribute to my community

• Dont drive drunk. Give blood. Vote. Recycle.
  Visit a nursing home. Volunteer at the food
  pantry. Collect and donate old clothes. Serve
  food at the homeless shelter. Be a Big
  Brother/Sister. Ride my bike instead of drive.
  Spring break with Habitat for Humanity. Pick up
  litter. Socialize animals at the Humane Society.

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Interpersonal Interpersonal Relationship

• The ability to establish and maintain mutually
  satisfying relationships that are characterized
  by intimacy and by giving and receiving affection
• Effective communication skills
• What kind of friend am I?
• Appreciation Letter Express appreciation to
  someone. Let them know how much they mean to you
  or have helped you.
• Conflict Management

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Interpersonal Relationships Activity Conflict
management

• Role play conflict situations
• Student A You are tired. Your roommate begins
  to criticize you because you left your dirty
  dishes in the sink. You dont think youve done
  anything wrong. You think she/he is not being
  fair to you. You are very annoyed.
• Student B Your roommate has left dirty dishes
  in the sink again. You are tired and dont want
  to wash them. You think she/he is not being fair
  to you. You complain.

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Stress Management Stress Tolerance

• The ability to withstand adverse events and
  stressful situations without falling apart by
  actively and confidently coping with stress.
• Stress indicators and vulnerabilities
• Relaxation exercises
• Stress Bingo
• Test Anxiety

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Stress Management Impulse Control

• The ability to resist or delay an impulse, drive
  or temptation to act.
• Distress tolerance and delay of gratification
• Marshmallow experiment
• Time and money management
• Anger management
• Functions and components of anger
• How is your anger hurting you?
• How do I handle my anger?
• Rules for managing anger

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Adaptability Reality Testing

• The ability to assess the correspondence between
  what is experienced (the subjective) and what in
  reality exists (the objective).
• Describe an episode during which you believe your
  ability to size up the situation was radically
  off base.
• Catastrophizing or Over-optimistic

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Adaptability Flexibility

• The ability to adjust ones emotions, thoughts,
  and behavior to changing situations and
  conditions.
• Share responses to travel
• Routines. What disrupts them? What is response
  to disruption?
• Island Activity

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Adaptability Problem Solving

• The ability to identify and define problems as
  well as to generate and implement potentially
  effective solutions
• Steps for problem solving
• Class Application Write current problem on note
  card. Collect and distribute into groups to
  practice problem solving.
• Idea Exchange

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Problem Solving Activity The Idea Exchange
(http//oncourseworkshop.com/Interdependecen023.

• Identify specific goal -- e.g. I want to pass
  math.
• List obstacles to achieving goal as specifically
  as possible -- e.g. Im not good in math and Im
  bored in class.
• Find a partner and decide who will be A and B. A
  will tell B what they want and what the obstacle
  is, B will have 1-2 minutes to provide as many
  solutions as possible.
• After each person has a turn, repeat with another
  partner. Continue for 3 rounds.
• Discuss process What solutions will you
  implement? What did you learn from this
  experience?

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General Mood Happiness

• The ability to feel satisfied with ones life, to
  enjoy oneself and being with others, and to have
  fun.
• What makes us happy?
• Happiness collages
• Self-nurturing activities
• Nightly recording of what went well today and why
• Spontaneity
• Throwing Sound game

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Celebrate Life Activity

• Each person in class gets a balloon and marker.
  Draw or list things they will appreciate or
  celebrate this semester. Then share with class.

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General Mood Optimism

• The ability to look at the brighter side of life
  and to maintain a positive attitude, even in the
  face of adversity.
• Learned Optimism (Seligman)
• Practice Optimism
• Look for plausible alternatives (ABCDE examples)
• Reframe situations from pessimistic to optimistic
• How long does this last?
• Whos responsible?
• How big is this?

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How are we already teaching EI to our students?

• Our ideas