There are a number of things going on when your partner gets defensive. You can always send them to a therapist! Of course, that might not be the best first step! Try this first: he or she may feel threatened or hurt by what you’ve said. They feel the need to explain their actions because they feel that there’s been an accusation, and they feel it’s unjust or unfair.
The human mind is very complex. As licensed therapists and counselors who assist individuals and couples, our role at Heart-Centered Counseling is getting to know what causes our patients’ struggles in life. Helping them understand the difference between guilt and shame is part of the approach to healing. If you struggle with knowing how the two differ, you’ll find the answer to be life affirming.
There are a lot of things in life that make people angry. Some situations merit the emotion. Others, however, may not. If you sometimes find yourself reacting with anger, perhaps you’d like to work on better coping mechanisms with a therapist or try following some of the suggestions below.
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Life has a way of throwing you a curveball at times. Rather than leave yourself at the mercy of chance, why not act by preparing in advance for difficult scenarios? By doing so, you stand a greater chance of moving past life’s challenges quickly.
We live on a planet that contains over 7 billion people. When there are that many people in the world, you can feel lost in the shuffle. It may seem like you don’t really matter. This couldn’t be further from the truth! Every single person matters, you have a much larger sphere of influence than you may realize. It is important that you understand how much matter to other people and how many people care about who you are.
Having a baby is a big life change. You can no longer go on vacation on a whim, stay out as late you want, or even sleep through the night. You now have something that is completely dependent on you for survival. It’s a stressful time learning to be parents and no one can fully prepare you for it. In fact, the birth of a child leads to marital dissatisfaction, with thirteen percent of new parents filing for divorce within the first five years after the birth of a child. Here are some ways to keep your relationship healthy after the baby arrives.
Life is about lessons. One tip to surviving its ups and downs is to know the difference between doing it badly and feeling bad. One you have less control over and the other you have more control over.
Making important life decisions takes careful consideration. It’s not always your responsibility alone, either. When there is more than one person involved in the decision-making process, it can be difficult. That’s where couple’s counseling helps.
Now that you’ve had the opportunity to diffuse defensive behavior in others, it’s time to work on your own defense mechanisms. What causes you to feel insecure? Do you go on the defense every time someone brings up something about yourself that you don’t want to hear?
Difficulties happen in life. That’s simply the way life is. Whether it’s the loss of a job, the ending of an important relationship, or any other kind of failure you may experience, it can be disheartening. If not handled in a healthy way, failure can take a serious toll on our mental and emotional health. It is vital that you understand healthy ways to manage failure and turn that failure into something positive. Here’s a look at how you can healthfully deal with failure.
Life changes in an instant and this is something that many people undergoing therapy or counseling know all too well. The monumental impact of loss feels crippling. It’s hard to know what to do when life knocks you down.
Grief is often crippling. It sneaks up out of nowhere and paralyzes you. If you’ve had a traumatic experience to deal with such as the loss of a job, an accident or illness, the dissolution of a relationship or the death of a loved one, you may not be coping with the changes as well as you could. You may be shutting people out without even realizing it.
A barrier to good communication is assuming that we know how our partner feels at any given time. We take things out of context, misread messages, and sometimes make mountains out of molehills. Assumptions can be very damaging to relationships.
Nobody’s perfect, and there are times in everyone’s life when being kind just doesn’t come naturally. Sometimes it feels easier to become angry and hurtful to others when others have been angry towards you, but this just leads to all of us continuously hurting one another. Being kind is not only beneficial for other’s mental health, but it is good for yours as well.
Sometimes difficult situations, such as arguments or miscommunications, can cause people to become angry and instead of reacting the way that they should, they overreact. Of course, it is important to react to situations and feel emotions when we should, but there is a difference between reacting and overreacting. Overreacting to a situation can be off-putting and it can cause rifts between friendships. Learning how to regulate yourself and your behavior when you are angry can help keep your relationships healthier.
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Many of us think that if we made more money or had more disposable income, we would be happier. But as the old saying goes, money really can’t buy happiness. It can buy security—studies have shown that people who make enough to live comfortably without worrying are happier than those who don’t—but it won’t actually make you happy. In fact, happiness levels increase with income up to an average of $75,000 a year. After that, it stays fairly consistent.