MANAGING CONFLICT IN THE CONGREGATION

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MANAGING CONFLICT IN THE CONGREGATION

• A Presentation to the Congregations of the
  Michigan District - LCMS
• Prepared by
• The Rev. Dr. Peter Larsen, Director
• Unity Ministry A Ministry of Mediation

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UNDERSTANDING LEVELS OF CONFLICT
The following material is based on materials
prepared by the Alban Institute entitled
Conflict Intensity Chart.
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LEVEL ONE A Problem Needing Solving
Characteristics

• 1. Issue
• 2. Emotions
• 3. Orientation
• 4. Information
• 5. Language
• 6. Objective
• 7. Outcome

Real disagreement, conflicting goals and
needs Short-lived anger quickly controlled
parties begin to be uncomfortable in presence of
others Tends to be problem oriented rather than
person oriented Open sharing of information Clear
and specific Solving the problem. Move to
unanimous agreement. Use collaborative
style Collaborative agreement if possible.
Win/win final end with acceptable mutually agreed
solution
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LEVEL TWO Disagreement
Characteristics
Real disagreement with mixing of personalities
and issues and problem cannot be easily
defined Distrust begins. Caution in
associations less mixing with the other
side. Begin personalizing problemshrewdness
calculations start Selective hold back of
information occurs by both sides More vague
general some people they Hostile humor and
barbed comments and put downs Face saving come
out looking good. Tend toward consensus. Not
yet win/lose conflict Attempt collaborative
solution or negotiate acceptable agreement
win/win with real effort
1. Issue 2. Emotions 3. Orientation 4.
Information 5. Language 6. Objective 7. Outcom
e
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LEVEL THREE Contesting(this is the level for
outside consulting to come in)
Characteristics
Win/lose begins. Resistance to peace overtures.
Focus on persons representing the enemy Not
able to operate in presence of enemy though
admire worthy opponent. Not willing to share
emotions constructively Personal attacks.
Formation of sides (often sides have
names) Distortion is major problem and
information shared only within factions Overgenera
lizations. Attribute diabolical motives to
othersyou always we never Shifts from
self-protection to winning. Clustering of
issues Decision making. Mediation.
Compromising. Possible some will leave the church
1. Issue 2. Emotions 3. Orientation 4.
Information 5. Language 6. Objective 7. Outco
me
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LEVEL FOUR Fight/Flight
Characteristics
Shifts from winning to getting rid of person(s)
as no longer believe others can change or want
them to change Cold self-righteousness and will
not speak to the other side Factions solidified
and clear lines of separation Only limited to
cause being advocated and will not listen to
contrary information Talk now of principles not
issues and language moves to ideology No longer
winning now eliminate other(s) from the church
and hurt them. High probability of splitting
church with many leaving
1. Issue 2. Emotions 3. Orientation 4.
Information 5. Language 6. Objective 7. Outco
me
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LEVEL FIVE Intractable (may be wrong at this
level to keep church together. May need a
split without hurting each other)
Characteristics
Conflict unmanageable. Personalities are the
issue no understanding of any other
issue Relentless obsession to accomplish
objective(s) at all cost. Vindictive. No
objectivity or control of emotions See person(s)
as harmful to society, not just to our
church Skewed to accomplish the objective at all
costs Focuses on words implying destruction
and/or elimination of the other To destroy the
offending party/person and to see that the fired
person does not get a job elsewhere Highly
destructive. May be necessary to remove members
from church. Possible formation of judicial
commission
1. Issue 2. Emotions 3. Orientation 4.
Information 5. Language 6. Objective 7. Outco
me
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CONCERNING LEVELS ONE - FOUR
If invited in, the mediator from Unity Ministry
explains the characteristics and help churches
resolve the issues before they become
intractable. This might be done by showing the
deeper levels of conflict toward which a church
is heading if they do not resolve their issues.
Unity Ministry would seek the following outcomes

• Teaching about conflict
• Clarifying the issues
• Helping disputants talk in a safe and calm
  environment
• Help move toward a win/win agreement
• Negotiate a written Agreement after much
  listening and talking by all involved

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UNITY MINISTRYA Ministry of Mediation

• For questions and/or assistance in managing
  conflict, particularly for Levels 2-4, contact
  the director of Unity Ministry, the Rev. Dr.
  Peter Larsen, at 888.225.2111 or
  peter.larsen_at_michigandistrict.org