SelfConcept

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Lecture 19
Self-Concept Self-Awareness Self-Esteem
Self-Disclosure
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l. Self-Concept

• How you view yourself or your self image
• A. Others Images of You
• B. Social Comparisons
• C. Cultural Teachings
• D. Your Own Interpretations and Experiences

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II. Self-Awareness

• The goal is to be as open of a communicator as
  possible
• Johari Window a tool that represents your
  communication behavior.

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Johari Window
Known Not Known to Self to Self
Open Blind Self Self Hidden Unknown Self Self
Known to Others Not Known to Others
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III. Self-Esteem

• Your own evaluation of worth
• Attack your Self-Destructive Beliefs
• Engage in Self-Affirmation
• Seek Out Nourishing People
• Work on Projects that will Result in Success

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IV. Self-Disclosure

• Sharing previously unknown personal information
  and experiences with another person
• A. Factors Influencing Self-Disclosure
• Who You Are
• Culture
• Gender
• Your Listeners
• Topic

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IV. Self-Disclosure (cont)

• B. To be effective, self-disclosure includes
• feelings more than facts
• greater breadth and depth over time
• a focus on the present, not past
• reciprocity

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Guidelines for Self-Disclosure

• Discuss situations as they happen
• Choose appropriate time and place
• Choose appropriate level of disclosure
• Share feelings and thoughts move from self
  description to self-disclosure as appropriate

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Rewards of Self-Disclosure

• Allows validation of ones perception of reality
• Brings psychological relief through sharing
• Creates better lines of communication
• Increases physiological health
• Helps reduce stress, tension, and adversity
• Addresses intimacy needs
• Increases ones self-awareness and
  self-understanding
• Strengthens relationships

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Dangers of Self-Disclosure

• Personal risks
• Relational risks
• Professional risks

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V. Communication in Developing Relationships

• How does communication change as people go from
  casual encounters to a more committed
  relationship?

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A. Theory of Social Penetration

• 1. As relationship progresses communica-tion
  increases in
• Breadth number of topics discussed
• Depth intimacy of topics discussed
• 2. Self-disclosure changes over time
• Initially mostly superficial
• Later more meaningful
• 3. Quick encounters
• Strangers on the bus no continuation
• Fast romances may be vulnerable to fast
  termination

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B. Self-disclosure Reciprocity

• 1. Greater among strangers than established
  partners.
• 2. Once we feel close to someone, we do not feel
  the need to reciprocate immediately.
• 3. However, when we are trying to become close to
  someone, immediate reciprocity in self-disclosure
  may be crucial in helping the relationship to
  grow.

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C. Privacy is important, too.

• 1. People need their privacy even within the
  context of a close, intimate relationship.
• 2. The theory of social penetration describes the
  way people develop the capacity to share and
  disclose with one another.
• 3. Social penetration theory does not imply that
  we should always be making use of the capability
  to self-disclose to others.

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VI. Gender Differences in Communication

• A. Self-disclosure
• 1. Females self-disclose more than males,
  particularly in regard to personal feelings.
• 2. Males disclose personal facts.
• B. Avoiding Self-disclosure
• 1. Females are concerned about lack of response.
• 2. Males are concerned about lack of practical
  assistance.

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• C. The roles people play Expressive versus
  Instrumental
• 1. Women are more socially sensitive
• Better at sending and receiving non-verbal
  messages.
• Better listeners.
• More empathic.
• More consoling to others in distress.
• 2. Men are more reliable
• Young males empathy leads to helping.
• More reassuring, problem oriented, willing to
  compromise during conflict.

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• C. The roles people play Expressive versus
  Instrumental
• 3. Women are more hostile and confusing
• Express more negative emotion, are more coercive.
• Use more double, contradictory messages.
• 4. Men are more emotionally constricted
• Unresponsive to others.
• Inexpressive of their own feelings.

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• D. Why cant a man be more like a woman (and
  vice versa)?
• 1. Cultural stereotypes.
• 2. Other people reward us for conforming to the
  stereotypes.
• 3. Parents may socialize us to conform to the
  stereotypes.
• 4. Possible sex-linked biobehavioral
  predispositions (i.e. genetic explanation)

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• E. Difficult does not mean impossible
  Improving male-female communication
• 1. Androgyny Both males and females become both
  instrumental expressive.
• 2. Remember the good parts of the other persons
  communication style.
• 3. Try to speak the other persons language.
• 4. Get a interpreter if its necessary.
• 5. Express your love express that youre trying.
• 6. Listen when your partner says these things to
  you.