Bullies and Victims

1
Bullies and Victims
2
Statistics on Bullying

• 1 out of 4 kids is bullied.
• 1 out of 5 kids admits to being a bully at one
  time.
• 8 of students miss at least 1 day of school per
  month for fear of bullies.
• 43 fear harassment in the bathroom at school.
• Recent surveys show that 77 of the students
  survey said they were bullied mentally, verbally
  or physically.
• Every seven minutes a child is bullied.
• 15 of students bully regularly or are victims of
  bullies on a regular basis.

3
Statistics on Bullying

• 100,000 students carry a gun to school.
• 2 out of 3 teens say they know how to make a bomb
  or know where to get the info to do it.
• Teenagers say revenge is the strongest motivation
  for school shootings.
• 28 of youths who carry weapons have witnessed
  violence at home.
• Bullying is more prevalent among males. However
  bullying among females is on the rise.

4
More Statistics

• Males experience verbal and physical bullying
  whereas girls experience more verbal and social
  bullying.
• Most bullying is verbal.
• Female bullying is more indirect and
  manipulative.
• Bullying can cause devastating long term effects
  on its victims such as depression, loneliness,
  drug dependency lack of success, low
  self-esteem, criminal behavior and suicide.

5
Parents Viewpoint

• According to Statistics from the 2001 National
  Crime Prevention Survey given by the National
  Crime Prevention Council,
• recent studies show that as many as 75 of
  children have been victims of bullying during
  their school careers, about half of the parents
  (50) in this survey see bullying as not a
  problem for their children.
• Theyre Wrong !!

6
Sources for Statistics

• The American Justice Department
• Gallup News Service 2001
• Office of Juvenile Justice and Delinquency
  Prevention
• U.S. Department of Education and Justice
• Journal of the American Medical Association
• National Crime Prevention Council
• 2001 Report Card The Ethics of American Youth
• Kaiser Family foundation and Nickelodeon

7
The VictimSigns and Symptoms
8
The VictimSigns and Symptoms

• Comes home from school with clothing thats torn
  or in disarray or books are damaged.
• Has bruises, cuts and scratches, but cant give a
  logical explanation for how he them.
• Appears afraid or reluctant to go to school in
  the morning, complaining repeatedly of headaches
  or stomach aches.
• Chooses an illogical route for going to and
  from school.
• Bed wetting
• Refusing to participate in extra-curricular
  activities.

9
The VictimSigns and Symptoms

• Has bad dreams or cries in his sleep.
• Loses interest in school work, and his grades
  suffer.
• Appears sad or depressed, or shows unexpected
  moos shifts and sudden outbursts of temper.
• Requests money from you to meet the bullys
  demands.
• Seems socially isolated.
• Over or under eating

10
The Bully
11
The BullySigns and Symptoms

• Has a strong need to dominate and subdue others.
• Asserts himself, uses power and threats to get
  his own way.
• Intimidates his siblings or kids in the
  neighborhood.
• Brags about his actual or imagined superiority
  over other kids.
• Is hot tempered easily angered, impulsive and has
  low frustration tolerance.

12
The BullySigns and Symptoms

• Has difficulty conforming to rules and tolerating
  advice.
• Has trouble accepting delays.
• Cheating
• Oppositional defiant and aggressive behavior
  toward adults, teacher and parents.
• Antisocial or criminal behavior at a relatively
  early age.

13

• Bullying begins in the elementary school
• Peaks in the middle school
• Lessens in senior high. However can become more
  severe in senior high.

14
What to do if you are a parent of the victim.
15
How to Help Your Child

• Listen to your child with your ears and eyes.
• Keep communication open.
• Take any reporting of bullying behavior
  seriously.
• Report it to the right person. This might not be
  the parents of the bully. Report it to the school
  if need be.

16
How to Help Your Child

• Dont encourage further violence
• Teach your child how to handle difficult
  situations
• Practice the techniques.
• Give your child lines that she/he can use.
• Remind your child that if they are a witness or a
  bystander, they are encouraging the behavior to
  continue.

17
Strategies to Teach your Child

• Self Talk
• Teach your child to say to him/herself things
  like,
• I can handle this
• I can walk away
• This isnt true
• I am a good person

I can handle this.
18

• Ignore
• Displays of anger or tears often invite more
  teasing. Teach your child to not look at the
  bully and walk away. Teach him/her to pretend
  that nothing has happened. If need be, say
  nothing and walk towards an adult. This strategy
  does not work with prolonged bullying.

19

• Use I- Messages
• This allows your child to assertively and
  effectively express their feelings.
• I feel _____________
• (emotion)
• When ________________
• (action)
• Because ______________
• (reason)
• Can add what you would like done.

I feel upset When I am teased about my
clothes Because it makes me feel sad. I would
like you to stop.
20
Youre funny looking. You have a lot of freckles.

• Agree with the Bully
• Agreeing with the bully is one of the easiest
  ways to handle an insult. This usually
  eliminates the feeling of wanting to hide or cry.
  The Bully usually is taken back. Also no one
  can fight with someone who agrees with you.

Thank You, You are right, I do have a lot of
freckles.
21
Give a Standard Answer

• Teach your child statements to use on the spare
  of the moment. This way when your child is
  caught off guard, he/she will have something to
  say.
• Try something like
• So.
• And your point is?
• Thats YOUR opinion.

And your point is?
22
Use Compliments

• Using compliments may throw the bully off and
  he/she wont know what to say.
• If your child is being teased about the way he
  runs . Respond with I agree, I cant run as
  fast as you. You are a good runner.

23
Use Humor

• Humor shows that little importance is placed on
  the bullying, mean remarks or put downs.Laughing
  can often turn a hurtful situation into a funny
  one.
• Someone says, That is the ugliest jacket Ive
  ever seen.
• Response Thank You, my mom and I tried very
  hard to find the ugliest jacket. Ill tell her
  we did it.

24
Ask For Help

• At times, seeking help from an adult is the
  only thing that can be done and should be done.

25
Tell An Adult

• Tattling
• is trying to get someone
• into
• trouble.

• Telling
• is trying to get someone
• out of
• trouble

26
Please Do Not

• Confront the bully or the bullys parents.
• Tell your child to get in there and fight.
• Blame your child. Its not their fault.
• Promise to keep the bullying a secret.

27
What to Do If Your Child IS the Bully.
28

• Teach your child to recognize and express
  emotions nonviolently.

29
Teach Conflict Resolution

• Teach your child how to use conflict management
  skills.
• Use things such as,
• Walk away
• talking it out
• Exercise
• Cool Down
• Counting

30

• Emphasize talking out the issue rather than
  fighting.

31

• Promote empathy by pointing out the consequences
  for others that your childs verbal and physical
  actions may have caused.

32

• Dont put your child down. Bullies are
  intolerant of any insult to their self concept.
  They can not take criticism.
• However, do hold your child accountable for his
  actions.

33
Model Behavior

• Remember you are the model for your child as to
  the type of behavior you want him/her to exhibit.
  If you model bully like behavior, they will too.

34
Monitor Your Child

• Monitor the type of television shows they
  watch. Also watch them at play. What do they
  choose to do with their free play.

35
Experts Recommend

• That adults must make it clear that aggressive
  behavior in school, the neighborhood, or at home
  is not acceptable and will not be tolerated.
  Children should be encouraged to report
  aggression and threats. Parents and school staff
  must deal with these incidents seriously.

36

• When aggression is tolerated, everyone loses
  the bullies, the victims and the bystanders.
  They are all learning that violence is
  acceptable, and that is not the lesson we want to
  teach our children.

37

• Bullying can be eliminated if adults and
  children become partners in the crusade against
  cruelty.

38
BUDDIES Not BULLIES F R I E N D S