Bullies And Victims: Who, Why, And How

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Bullies And VictimsWho, Why, And How

• Julie E. Gomes
• Director of Curriculum and Instruction
• Canton Union School District 66
• 20 West Walnut
• Canton, IL 61520
• [phone]
• jgomes_at_cantonusd.org

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You First

• What were your personal school experiences with
  bullying?
• What have been your experiences as an educator?
• What are your concerns?
• Why are you here?

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What Is A Bully?

• Someone who deliberately intimidates, threatens,
  and/or hurts others repetitively over a period of
  time.
• Verbal, written, or physical threats are made by
  them.
• Physical aggression.
• Rumor spreading.
• Teasing.
• Practical jokes.
• Extortion.

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What all bullies have in common

• They are self-absorbed.
• They want attention, recognition, power,
  position, and fame. They are willing to use
  others in order to get what they want.
• They want revenge. It does not matter from whom
  they get revenge.
• They are not responsible for their own actions.
• They are often jealous of others.

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Recognizing Bullies

• Persistent patterns of behavior
• Constant teasing of others
• Intimidates, makes fun of, ridicules, humiliates,
  or degrades others
• Physical aggression towards others
• Bossy
• Picking on those smaller or weaker than
  themselves
• Manipulating others
• Usually has support from a group of peers
• Easily angered and bad-tempered
• Defiant
• Lack of empathy
• High self-esteem

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Passive Victims

• Passive victims are usually weaker and smaller
  than bullies, and are unable to defend
  themselves.
• May be different appearance, dress, speech,
  gender, name, ability
• May lack social skills
• May be shy, lonely, or depressed
• May be anxious and insecure
• May be characterized as over-protected
• Yields easily to bullying

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Provocative Victims

• Provocative victims are usually difficult to
  recognize as victims.
• Annoy others through teasing and irritating
  behaviors-They do not know when enough is
  enough
• May look like bullies by fighting back, but they
  end up losing in the end
• May have nasty habits
• May be fidgety or nervous
• May be easily aroused emotionally
• May be diagnosed with ADD/ADHD
• Tend to make you feel like they deserved it

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Recognizing Victims

• Warning signs
• Missing belongings
• Torn clothing
• Unexplained injuries
• Frequent illnesses
• Temper outbursts
• School problems
• Fear of going to school
• Cutting classes
• Isolation
• Few or no friends
• Never/infrequently being invited to friends
• Avoiding school activities, particularly lunch
  and recess
• Usually are silent

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One Other Group

• Bystander
• Ignores the bullying.
• Supports the bully.
• Sticks up for the victim.
• Gets help.

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Common School Responses To Bullying

• What can I do if I did not see it?
• Stay away from the bully.
• Stick up for yourself.
• Just ignore the bully. (It is just a right of
  passage.)
• Basically These are non-responsive!

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What are the effects of not dealing with the
problem of bullying?

• Frightened kids
• Climate of fear and intimidation
• Confrontations take place
• Weaker kids may follow bullies
• Negative atmosphere
• Time is taken away from the activity!

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Interesting Facts about Bullies and Victims

• 15-30 of students are involved in bullying as
  the bully or victim.
• 60 of all office referrals are because of
  bullying.
• 30 of absences/tardies are a result of bullying.
• Most suicides are victims of bullies.
• 70 of bullies have a criminal record.
• 95 of bullies do not go to college.
• Bullies are 200-300 times more likely to be wife
  and/or child abusers.

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What may I do first?

• Find out about bullying in your organization.
• Survey
• Find out who the bullies are in your classes.
• Student Questionnaire

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Bullying Survey

• Check all boxes that apply to you.
• Have you been bullied?
• Are you being bullied now?
• Was the bullying name-calling?
• Was the bullying excluding you from friendships?
• Was the bullying violent (hitting, kicking,
  punching, pushing)?
• Was the bully threatening to harm you?
• Was this bullying because of your color, race, or
  religion?
• Was the bullying by pupils the same age or by
  those older or younger?
• Did you tell anyone?
• Did you tell a friend?
• Did you tell a teacher?
• Did you tell your parents?

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Bullying Survey (Continued)

• Did you hit back?
• Did you stay at home?
• Did the bullying stop?
• If it got better, why do you think this was?
  ______________________________________________
• If it got worse, why do you think this was?
  ______________________________________________
• Where did bullying happen? ______________________
  ________________________
• Are some areas of school unsafe?
• Where in school is bullying most likely to
  happen? __________________________________________
  ____
• Have you seen anyone else being bullied?
• Have you ever bullied anyone?
• Why did you bully someone? ______________________
  ________________________
• Are you being bullied out of school?

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Student Questionnaire

• Questions to ask your students to find out who
  are the bullies/victims in your school.
• Name 3 students in your grade you like to play
  with or hang around with.
• Name 3 students in your grade you would not play
  with nor hang around with.
• Name 3 students who need a friend.
• Students named infrequently in 1 and frequently
  in 2 are bullies.
• Students named only in 2 are provocative
  victims.
• Students named only in 3 are passive victims.

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A Good Staff Member Will

• Notice when a student is sad or isolated.
• Look for the reasons.
• Respond to incidents of bullying.
• Not see incidents as just playing or just part of
  growing up.
• Work with victims to help them feel safe and
  build confidence.
• Work with bullies to find a solution.

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Encourage Staff To

• Respond progressively.
• Suggest the student
• Ignore.
• Walk away.
• Avoid.
• This will help you determine if the incident is
  truly bullying.
• Aggression does not equal bullying.

• Listen and pay attention to student requests for
  help.
• Discriminate between isolated incidents and
  repetitive incidents.
• Find out if the same students are involved.

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Encourage Staff To Lend A Supportive Ear To

• Reports of incidents of bullying.
• By victims and bystanders.
• Take all reports seriously.
• Offer students an anonymous reporting system
  (i.e. A drop box).

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Reactive Responses

• Begin sending a clear message that bullying is
  not acceptable and will not be tolerated.
• Consistent attention and administration.
• Fair and progressive discipline policy.
• Not zero tolerance.
• Zero tolerance zero flexibility.
• It takes away your ability to make a decision
  based upon circumstances, history, and the effect
  of consequences.

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Encourage Staff To Act

• Intervene.
• Take action.
• Follow the discipline procedures established.
• Provide victims a safe room/place during
  recesses, breaks, and lunch hours.
• Delay the bully after school and before recesses,
  lunch hours, passing times, and breaks.

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Keep in Mind

• Bullies may interpret intervention as a direct
  challenge to their status.
• Bullies may seek retribution on their victims.

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Some Errors In JudgmentTo Avoid

• Saying to the bully that people will not like
  him/her.
• Putting the bully down publicly.
• Prejudging the bully in every situation.
• Treating the bully inconsistently.
• Trying to bribe the bully.
• Excluding the bully.
• Getting into a value argument over right and
  wrong with the bully.
• The bully wants any/all attention!!!

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Assist Victims

• Encourage them to
• Stay with friends.
• Avoid being alone in dangerous places (i.e.
  locker rooms, restrooms, hallways).
• Act confident.
• Stand tall.
• Hold head up.
• Make eye contact.
• Ask for help.

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Proactive Responses

• Teach students how to make friends.
• Bullies tend to chose loners as their victims.
• What are some ways you can encourage friendships?
  
• What opportunities are present or can be created
  to partner students?

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Assist Bullies

• Acknowledge students who bully.
• Teach students how to deal with their bullying
  problem.
• Anger management.
• Conflict resolution.
• Problem solving.
• Conference with family members.
• Refer for counseling.

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More

• Discuss bullying in the classroom.
• Use literature and videos (published, TV, movies)
  to open the door.

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And

• Model behavior that does not include bullying
  (i.e. sarcasm, mean-spirited humor).
• Establish a one-to-one relationship with the
  bully.

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Final Thoughts?
www.cantonusd.org/curriculm