Negotiation

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NegotiationConflict Resolution
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Pre-survey

• Getting people to cooperate
• Personal interests and agendas
• Negotiating priorities between departments
• Finding a win/win solution so everybody is happy
• Finding common ground
• Communication breakdowns between departments
• Delivering uncomfortable information
• Conflict with other people
• Getting meetings to run better faster
• Persuading others

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Game Plan

• Lots to cover
• 90 is in the book
• Need you to participate
• Take this seriously
• Ask questions
• Offer ideas / examples
• Frequent breaks
• End by 1245

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Class is based on

• ML IBT negotiations class
• Harvard
• Negotiations Project
• Conflict Management Team
• Advanced Communications Program
• 5,000 pages of research and studies
• 320 companies in the last 11 years

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Fundamental Framework
PAGE 1

• Positions
• Interests
• Reservation Price
• ZOPA
• Variables
• Concessions
• BATNA
• We negotiate all the time why?

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How do many people view negotiations?

• War, competition, battle, fight, contest
• Old Style Tactics set aggressive targets, start
  high, concede very slowly if at all, and employ
  threats, bluffs and commitments to unrealistic
  targets --- without triggering an impasse or
  escalation!

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Two Types of Negotiations
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• Zero-Sum
• Harness the power of anchoring
• Do not disclose key information
• Learn as much as you can
• Exploit
• Dont overshoot

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Two Types of Negotiations

• Win-Win
• Tell the truth
• Provide key information
• Learn as much as you can
• Be flexible, creative and fair

The Negotiators Dilemma
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Three Key Factors of Negotiating

• Preparation
• Negotiation
• Communication

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What makes a great negotiator?

• Whoever is the best prepared wins

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PAGE 4

• Interests general goals, objectives
• Monetary (value , Time, People)
• Growth
• Status
• Principles
• ???

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Variables

• Optimum
• Alternative
• Minimum

Supporting arguments / facts / proof
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What are you willing to give up?

• Trade-offs
• Concessions
• Limits RP
• ZOPA
• BATNA

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The 6 mistakes of negotiation
NITB

• Not doing your homework.
• Neglecting the other sides problem.
• Letting positions drive out interests.
• Letting the numbers bulldoze other interests.
• Neglecting BATNAs.
• Failing to correct for skewed vision.

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Outline of key information
PAGE 6

• Main Interests / Positions
• Variables Optimum / Minimum
• Arguments for / against each
• Trade-offs / Concessions / BATNA
• Reservation Price / ZOPA

For both parties
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WORKSHOP

• On pages 8 - 11 completely fill out a
• Strategic Negotiation Plan
• for a real situation you are currently facing.
• Put in as much detail as possible.

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(No Transcript)
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The right mind set
PAGE 12

• Be very well prepared
• Be as flexible as possible
• Clarify your terms
• Dont assume anything
• Be encouraging at all times
• Engage in brainstorming
• Show concern for your counterpart

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Running the Negotiation
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• Open on the right foot
• Use a well
  thought out agenda
• Present the agenda as a benefit
• Discuss agenda items /
  allocate time
• Cover all agenda items
• Break to review agreement
• Leave on a positive note

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Major barriers to a successful negotiation
NITB

• Poor communications
• Hardball attitudes / inflexibility
• Unable to build a deal that has value for both
  parties
• Negotiating with the wrong people
• Unrealistic demands / expectations
• Lack of trust

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NITB
You must Consistently Communicate that
you are Competent and that you truly Care about
your counterpart
TRUST
C o n c e r n
Affection
Distrust
Respect
Competence
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Six more ways to build trust
NITB

• Know their language.
• Manage your reputation.
• Make dependence a factor.
• Make unilateral concessions.
• Label your concessions.
• Explain your demands.

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The Five Negotiating Styles
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Negotiation Styles
PAGE 16

• Compromising
• Uses Cooperation
• Concedes minor objectives
• Divides needs to satisfy both parties
• Mutually exclusive objectives

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Negotiation Styles

• Accommodating
• Relationship over objectives
• Sacrifice now / gain later
• Dont use on key issues
• Dont use if other party is lying

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Negotiation Styles

• Collaborative
• Working together win/win
• Time-consuming
• Problem solving / brainstorming
• Dont use on minor points

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Negotiation Styles

• Avoiding
• Passive lose/lose
• Creates frustration / anger
• Use on minor issues
• Use if you would lose
• Dont use in complex situations

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Negotiation Styles

• Competing
• Aggressive style win/lose
• Intimidation / threats / hostility
• Use if you need a quick decision
• Mutually exclusive objectives

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Tactics
PAGE 17

• High ball / Low ball
• Delay
• Time pressure
• Stonewalling
• Bad temper
• Split the difference
• Good guy / Bad guy

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Time to change gears
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Challenging Conversations
PAGE 1

• How to handle difficult, emotional, stressful,
  angry and confrontational conversations

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Important to set this up right
NITB

• The Evil People
• What is your purpose? WS
• Is it important to you?
• You can only fix you
• This takes practice and work

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The Keys to Speaking Accountably
NITB

• Talk straightresponsibly
• Stay on purpose
• Collaborate - work at it
• Build ownership
• Commit with integrity
• Recover quickly

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Your communications is accountable when
NITB

• People can re-create your message
• People know what is important
• People are emotionally and intellectually engaged
• You have contributed to building a higher level
  of trust
• You get the results you were after

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NITB
Stimulus
What does this mean to me?
THINK
NO
YES
STORY
Fear Prejudice Past Desire
Facts Truth Reality Logic
EMOTION
SILENCE
VIOLENCE
Masking Avoiding Withdraw
Threats Name Calling Globals
Effective Communication
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Three Main Causes

• Arguing about the facts
• Truth / Intentions / Blame
• Ignoring emotions
• Concern about impact
• Personal / professional

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The Truth Assumptions
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• I am right
• You are wrong
• I know the facts
• You are mistaken
• I understand
• You are confused

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The Truth Assumptions

• They are the problem!
• Rude
• Arrogant
• Manipulative
• Controlling
• Naïve
• Irrational

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The Truth Assumptions
We live in the same world Rules / beliefs /
attitudes / values / experiences
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The Truth Assumptions

• Reticular Activating System

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How do we fix the truth assumptions?
PAGE 3

• Admit you are not always right
• Realize they are not always the problem
• Check your information
• Examine your world
• Explore their world

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Time for a short break?
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I know why you did that

• I assume from your actions that I clearly
  understand your intentions

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Big problems with the intentions assumptions

• We really think we understand people
• We assume intentions by impact
• We assume the worst
• Bad intentions bad person
• Bad assumptions lead to selective perception

Read How not to fix the intentions assumptions
page 6
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Three Key Questions

• What really happened?
• How did it really make me feel?
• What do I guess they intended?

Go from accusingto explaining I - statements
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Scott, when you come in late to our team
meetings, I feel frustrated because it has a
serious impact on keeping the agenda on track.
I feel like you dont want to be in the
meetings, and that confuses me because I know you
are excited about the project. Could you help me
understand what has been keeping you from making
it on time?
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Five Levels of Confrontation
PAGE 8
Demand for Action
Understanding
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Reflection

• Relationship is top priority
• Sincere effort to understand
• Active listening

I can see that you are upset and you feel like
there is a lot of pressure on you. You mentioned
that you are working on eight different projects,
including the annual budget. That is very
challenging. I can understand that you feel
stressed.
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I - statements

• Relationship is important
• Build understanding by sharing
• Non-judgmental

I feel uncomfortable when you throw files down
on my desk and raise your voice.
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Diplomatic Disagreement

• Reach understanding in a gentle way
• Mutual understanding
• Disagree agreeably
• Preserve relationship in conflict

I appreciate your position and realize you feel
it will improve productivity. I believe we
should wait until we get the new computers and
make sure the software is compatible.
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Gentle Confrontation

• Build relationship / change behavior
• Validate / direct
• Non-threatening tentative
• Show concern and understanding

Combination of - Reflection - Validation of
worth / importance - I-statements -
Indication of consequences
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I know you think the Tampa project is a waste of
time. I understand your feelings and appreciate
that it may not seem like a top priority to you.
Tom, you are one of the key people on our team,
however, I feel frustrated when you agree to
deadlines on that project and then turn work in
days late. I am trying to manage all of our
projects well, and this situation is causing me a
lot of stress and extra work. If you continue to
delay the project, it may mean that we dont meet
our quarterly goals and we will all lose our
chance for bonus.
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Firm Confrontation

• Focus on changing behavior
• Maintain / preserve relationship
• Desire a firm resolution
• Clear consequences for noncompliance

Same as Gentle Confrontation plus
This cannot continue. In the future, I would
appreciate it if you would please honor the
deadlines you commit to. It is very important to
all of us.
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I dont feel like talking about my feelings

• Emotions ARE what make it challenging
• Cant hide your emotions
• Emotional ear muffs
• Emotions can hurt you
• The gap

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PAGE 14
Your personal power comes from...
Response
GAP
Stimulus
WORKSHOP page 14
Ideal You
Not the person you are now, but the person you
want to become!
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Something to think about

• Other people cannot
• Anger you you make yourself mad
• Depress you you make yourself sad
• Offend you you take offence
• Hurt your feelings your thoughts about the
  situation create your own bad feelings

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The Four Questions
NITB

• What do I want to have happen?
• What do I not want to have happen?
• What do I want for the relationship?
• Is what I am doing right now going to get me that
  outcome?

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Summary of Key Points

• Realize you are telling a story it is not the
  truth
• You create your own emotions you make yourself
  mad
• Identify and manage emotions express them
  rationally
• Use the Gap act like the Ideal You
• Use I statements assertive not aggressive
• Ask good questions listen and summarize
• What is your purpose?
• What do I want?
• What do I not want?
• What do I want from the relationship?
• Am I acting in a way that will get me that?

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Questions?

• You will be receiving a formal Merrill Lynch
  internal survey to asses this class.
• www.johnspence.com

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THANK YOU