Golden Principles of Raising Children

1
Golden Principles of Raising Children

• By Imam Abu Hamid Muhammad
• Al-Ghazali
• From his 3 volume collection of short books
  Majmuah Rasail Imam Ghazali

2
Childrens Initial Education

• Allah says O ye who believe! save yourselves
  and your families from a Fire whose fuel is Men
  and Stones, over which are (appointed) angels
  stern (and) severe, who flinch not (from
  executing) the Commands they receive from Allah,
  but do (precisely) what they are commanded.
  (666) Surah Tahrim

3
Childrens Initial Education

• The child is Allahs trust in the parents
  hands
• A Childs heart is like a nice, clean, simple
  mirror, it is void of defects and can be inclined
  towards anything you like.
• Teach the child manners and good morale
• Protect him/her from bad friends
• Do not let them desire physical beautification,
  fine dresses, ornamentation, physical ease, The
  child will grow up desiring those lowly things

4
Necessity and Importance of Halal food

• Nursing The women should eat of halal. If not,
  then that evil will be permeated through every
  fiber (consciousness/psychology/inner being) of
  the babys body, and the child will be inclined
  towards evil.

5
Initial stages of discernment

• Nurturing the child should begin when the ability
  for the child to distinguish between good and bad
  is prevalent
• Indicated by signs of shyness realize his/her
  honor, starts to leave doing certain acts out of
  shyness.
• This is the result of light of intelligence
  emerging from him/her
• This is a gift from Allah

6
Etiquettes of Eating

• First bad desire Greed to eat more, extremely
  necessary to teach etiquettes of eating
• Eat with right hand, Bismillah, Eat from front of
  the plate
• Wait for others to begin, dont stare at the
  food, dont stare at those who are eating, chew
  properly, not to constantly put morsels in mouth

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Etiquettes of Eating

• Sometimes feed child only bread, so he/she
  doesnt feel that curry is necessary with the
  bread
• Excessive eating is like animals
• Teach child to sacrifice their food for the sake
  of others, for their friends who are in need
• Basically teach them to be content with simple
  food.

8
Etiquettes of Dressing

• Love and desire for simple clothes should be
  developed in the child
• Try to keep child away from his friends who dress
  extravagantly, and tell stories of indulgence in
  material things.
• Continue here

9
Epidemic of Poetry

• Protect the child from romantic poetry and
  writings such things sow the seeds of
  corruption and evil in the minds of children
• Relate this to television? Since poetry was a
  form of entertainment back then.

10
Method of Persuading towards Good and Stopping
from Evil

• When good should be praised by the father, or
  given a gift, or praised in front of others
• If does something opposite after this praise,
  parent should show unawareness and should not
  dishonor or humiliate the child
• Revealing these mistakes will lead the child to
  become more daring gradually to commit more of
  them, and not even care.

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Method of Persuading towards Good and Stopping
from Evil

• If the same bad action is done again its ok to
  rebuke him/her in private.
• Should be told something like Beware! Dont
  ever do this bad thing again, God forbid if
  someone found out about it, youll get humiliated

12
Harms of Excessive Scolding

• If rebuked excessively, it creates a habit in the
  child to listening to scolding, and increases
  his/her courage to do those wrongs
• Should have awe from father

13
Etiquettes of Sleeping

• Child should not sleep during the day- laziness
• Stop from sleeping in soft bed, or else will get
  use to the comforts
• Wudu before sleeping, dua.
• Child should keep active physically so not to
  fall lazy

14
Prohibition of Arrogance and Pride

• Should be prohibited from showing pride on
  anything, food, clothing, parents, school
  supplies.
• The habit of dealing with his/her companions with
  respect, honor, and humbleness should be
  inculcated.
• Should be made to fear the love of wealth its
  worse than poison

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Etiquettes of Gatherings

• Taught the proper manner of sitting
• Should not talk to much
• Do not start the conversation first, only talk to
  answer a question
• When someone is speaking, they should listen
  attentively
• And the real secret of proper training of
  children is embedded in protecting the children
  from bad companions

16
Patience and Forbearance

• When his/her teacher punishes him/her, should
  exercise forbearance and not scream back
• To Exercise patience is the way of the brave
  ones and to scream, shout, and cry are the works
  of those who lack dignity

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Importance of Physical Exercises

• After studies, child should be permitted to play
  sports
• Gets rid of tiredness from school
• Should not be allowed to play too much that
  he/she gets tired from it.

18
Importance of Physical Exercises

• Pressure of just studying -gt dead heart -gt make
  intelligence useless -gt makes life miserable
• So the child looks for excuses to get rid of
  studies

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Etiquettes of Respecting the Elders
Impermanence of the world

• Impress upon the child that the world is not the
  purpose of our lives. Death is inevitable, and
  will end this material life.
• Volume 2, Book 23, Number 467 Narrated Abu
  Huraira
• The Prophet said, "Every child is born with a
  true faith of Islam (i.e. to worship none but
  Allah Alone) and his parents convert him to
  Judaism or Christianity or Magianism, as an
  animal delivers a perfect baby animal. Do you
  find it mutilated?"