Listening

1
Listening

• Seek first to understand
• Then to be understood.
• (Covey, 1997)

2
Listening is not a communication action, it is a
human action.

• Understanding how to listen effectively
• is an essential skill that benefits
• everything from family life to business.
• Survey of personnel managers
• Listening is most critical skill for working
  effectively in teams.
• Group members view people who listen well as good
  leaders.

3
Introduction and Overview

• What listening IS NOT
• Hearing vs. Listening
• Faulty listening behaviors
• Reasons for poor listening

4
What listening IS

• Stages of successful listening
• Pages 113, 114
• Personal listening styles
• Pages 123, 124
• Informational listening
• Pages 124 - 131

5
What Listening IS NOT

• Hearing vs. Listening
• Hearing
• Sounds waves strike the ear drum and cause
  vibrations that are transmitted to the brain.
• Automatic and effortless
• Listening
• The brain gives the sounds meaning.
• Unnatural, requires effort

6
Faulty listening behaviors

• Pseudo listening
• Imitation or fake listening.
• Pretending to listen.
• Selective listening
• Responding only to the parts of a speakers
  remarks that interest the receiver and rejecting
  everything else.
• Defensive listening
• Taking innocent comments as personal attacks.

7
Faulty Listening, cont.

• Ambushing
• Using listening skills to collect information to
  use for an attack on the speaker.
• Insulated listening
• Avoiding a particular topic.
• Insensitive listening
• Unable to look beyond words for other meanings.

8
Faulty listening, cont.

• Stage Hogging
• Attempting to turn the conversation to oneself.

9
Reasons for Poor Listening

• Requires Effort listening is hard it is not
  natural
• Message overload
• Rapid thought
• Psychological noise
• Physical noise

10
Reasons for Poor Listening, cont.

• Hearing problems
• Faulty assumptions
• Cultural differences
• Media

11
What Listening IS Listening Defined

• Listening Occurs when the brain gives the sound
  transmitted meaning.
• Listening is not like breathing
• It is unnatural
• It requires effort

12
What Listening IS Stages of Successful Listening

• 1. Attending
• Paying attention to a signal
• 2. Understanding
• Process of making sense of a message
• 3. Responding
• Giving observable feedback to the speaker
• Shows you care - verbal and nonverbal
• 4. Remembering
• Residual Message What is remembered
• Only 25 of original message after two months

13
Personal Listening Styles

• Content-Oriented
• Interested in the quality of the message.
• This style is useful when looking at a wide range
  of perspectives and options.
• People-oriented
• Concerned with creating and maintaining positive
  relationships

14
Personal Listening Styles, cont.

• Action-Oriented
• Concerned with the task at hand.
• Useful for business needs.
• Time-oriented
• Most concerned with efficiency.

15
Informational Listening

• Informational listening
• Used when one wants to understand another person.
• The goal is to receive the same thoughts that the
  other person is trying to convey.

16
Informational Listening, cont.

• Dont Argue or Judge Prematurely
• Listen to the other person first
• Try to understand his/her viewpoint
• Evaluate
• Argue or agree

17
Informational Listening, cont.

• Separate the message from the speaker
• Dont kill the messenger
• There may be truth in the message even from an
  undesirable messenger.

18
Informational Listening, cont.

• Be open to finding a gold nugget
• Look for the big ideas and main points
• Ask questions
• Open ended - Require an explanation
• Closed - Yes or No
• Paraphrase
• Restate in your own words what you believe that
  the speaker said.
• Take notes

19
Critical Listening

• Judging the quality of a message and deciding to
  accept or reject it.
• 1. Listen for information first
• 2. Evaluate the speakers credibility
• - check the source
• 3. Examine evidence and reasoning
• 4. Remove emotion

20
Empathetic Listening

• Stages of listening (Covey, 1997)
• Ignoring
• Pretend listening
• Selective listening
• Attentive listening
• Empathic listening
• The first step to understand someone

21
Empathetic Listening

• The goal is to build a relationship or help solve
  a problem.
• This style of listening has the most respect for
  the others point of view.

22
Empathetic Listening

• Ways to practice empathetic listening
• 1. Advising
• Offering suggestions
• 2. Judging
• Looking for constructive judgments
• 3. Analyzing
• Interpreting the speakers message

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Empathic Listening, cont.

• 4. Questioning
• Helps sort out problems
• 5. Supporting responses
• 6. Prompting
• The goal is to help the speaker draw conclusions
  for him/herself
• 7. Paraphrasing
• Restating in your words what you think is the
  speakers message.

24
Helping - When and How

• Choose the best helping style based on
• Situation based on what the person needs
• Advice
• Encouragement and support
• Your analysis or judgment
• Probing questions and paraphrasing to help
  him/her find own answers

25
Helping - When and How

• Choose the best helping style based on
• The other persons most likely reaction to your
  help. Some people
• Appreciate direct advice
• Want you to make the decision for them
• Are defensive and arent capable of receiving
  analysis or judgments. They lash out and want to
  kill the messenger.
• Cant think through the problems clearly even
  with the use of probing and paraphrasing.

26
Summary

• Identify and refute myths about listening
• Conclusion Effective listening is a necessary
  skill to be successful
• Five Step Process
• 1. Hearing
• 2. Attending
• 3. Understanding
• 4. Responding
• 5. Remembering

27
Summary continued

• Ineffective types of listening
• Pseudo
• Selective
• Defensive
• Ambushing
• Insulated
• Insensitive
• Stage Hogging

28
Summary continued

• Challenges that make effective listening
  difficult
• Effort
• Message (Information) Overload
• Rapid Thought
• Psychological Noise
• Physical Noise
• Hearing Problems

29
Summary continued

• Challenges that make effective listening
  difficult
• Wanting to talk more than to listen
• Cultural differences
• Media influences

30
Summary continued

• Personal Listening Styles
• Content-Oriented
• Evaluate the quality of ideas
• People-Oriented
• Creating and maintaining positive relationships
• Action-Oriented
• Want to decide what response is required by a
  message
• Time-Oriented
• Efficiency, Meeting deadlines

31
Summary continued

• Three types of listening
• 1. Informational
• Goal Understand another persons ideas
• Use active listening P P
• 2. Critical
• Goal Judge the quality of an idea
• 3. Empathic
• Goal Help the speaker, not the receiver