Communicating Effectively

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Communicating Effectively

• The Effective DRE
• A Skills Development Series

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What is Communication?

• Natural ability
• Learned behavior
• A process
• A responsibility
• Simultaneous sending and receiving of messages
• The response of one human being to the symbolic
  behavior of others

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Lets Talk About Language
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The Nature of Language

• Language is symbolic
• Language shapes our perception

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Language and Context

• Language can be abstract
• Never assume that everyone shares the same
  meanings
• Provide your definition of a word when you want
  people to use itand explain it.
• Repeat it often
• Religious language is abstract by nature, so be
  aware of that and careful

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Language Reflects Attitudes

• Pronoun choices
• Placement of words
• Directness
• Duration
• Time

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Language Can Enrich Relationships

• It
• You
• I
• We
• Me
• But

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Lets Talk About Listening
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Why Listening Can Be Difficult

• Message overload
• Preoccupation with personal concerns
• Ability to think fast, spare time in the mind
• Value talking over listening
• Not trained to listen

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Styles of Listening

• One-way or passive listening
• Two-way or active listening

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Guidelines for Effective Listening

• Choose the proper environment
• Stop talking
• Concentrate on the Speakers Ideas, Not Your Own
  Agenda
• Do Not Be Overly Critical
• Listen for Main Points and Supporting Evidence
• Share Responsibility for Communication
• Ask Questions for Clarification
• Use Active Listening

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Lets Talk About Nonverbal Communication
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What is Nonverbal Communication?

• Communication without words
• Kinesics
• Proxemics
• Paralanguage

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Characteristics of Nonverbal Communication

• Intuitive
• Subliminal
• Continuous
• Symbolic/Ambiguous
• Culture-bound

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Kinesics

• Kinesics is the study of body movements in
  communication
• Intentional gestures
• Unintentional gestures (yawn)

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Proxemics

• Proxemics is how the use of space communicates
• Physical arrangement of setting
• Distance between people
• The psychic bubble
• Personal space

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Paralanguage

• How you say it
• Stress, pitch, rate, pauses, inflections,
  loudness, enunciation, and tone
• Good dog

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Lets Talk About Small Group Dynamics
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The Nature of Small Group Communication

• Awareness
• Clear statement of goals
• Gate-keeping
• Cohesiveness
• Stages of development
• Acquaintance Level
• Defining of goals and purpose
• Power and control
• Constructive stage
• Intimate exchange of information

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• Facilitation growth in the group
• Solicit their input directly
• Quick to affirm and reinforce contributions
• Clarify and encourage

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Recognizing and Using the Gifts and Talents of
Others

• Feedback
• Be sure that there is a level of trust in the
  group before giving feedback that affirms gifts
  and talents
• Be clear and objective about your feedback
• Avoid interpretation or evaluation
• Relate feedback to recent events, not past

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Small Group Decision-Making

• Groups make more effective decisions because
  groups have more resources than individuals
• Groups are more accurate because more variables
  are considered
• Groups have greater commitment to the decision
  made

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4 Steps to Small Group Decision Making

• Identify the problem
• Analyze the problem
• Develop and evaluate alternative solutions
• Implement the plan

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Lets Talk About Resolving Interpersonal Conflict
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Types of Interpersonal Conflict

• Direct confrontation
• Perceived scarce rewards
• Interdependence
• Conflicts arise because we need each other

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Resolving Conflict

• Nip It!!
• The Sandwich
• The Mirror
• The Permission Question

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Six Steps to Resolve a Conflict

• Identify the Problem and Unmet Needs Before
  Confronting the Person
• Set Up an Appointment with the Person
• Describe the Problem and Unmet Needs Face to Face
• Allow the Other Person to Respond
• Restate What Has Just Been Communicated
• Negotiate a Solution

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Lets Talk About Public Speaking
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Purpose and Goals

• Public Communication is purposeful
• Develop a Specific Goal

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Audience Analysis

• Plan with hearers in mind
• Know audience demographics
• Realize that your speech is surrounded by
  listener expectations

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Organizing the Message

• Formulate a thesis statement 1 sentence
• Prepare the speech by outlining first Intro,
  Body, Conclusion
• Intro is extremely important
• Welcome
• Prayer

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Introduction after Prayer

• Rhetorical Question
• Startling Statement
• Interesting Quotation
• Illustration or Story
• Humorous Anecdote

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Preview Material for Audience

• Formula Tell them what you are going to say,
  say it, tell them what you said.
• Remember, we are fast thinkers--mind wanders
• Lots of repetition
• 3 Main Ideas
• Amplify 3 Ideas with
• Additional info
• Resources
• Stats
• Examples Personal

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• Build in Transitions, let people know where you
  are going next
• Make conclusion clear with a transition
• Ending should be good, tie it together

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Delivering the Message

• Extemporaneous Speaking is not off the cuff
• Plan the speech well, use an outline
• If you have to use a manuscript
• Short Paragraphs
• Stiff paper, type on one side only, clearly
  numbered
• Rehearse often
• Take your time, vary your speed, concentrate on
  ideas not words

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• Memorization is dangerous
• If you are called to do a spontaneous talk,
  remember the Ws Who, What, Why, When, Where
• Be positive, the audience is on your side
• Intro, Body, Conclusion

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Communication Apprehension

• Be Rational
• Be Receiver-Oriented
• Be Positive
• Be Prepared
• Pray Before You Speak

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Lets Talk About the Written Word and
Interpersonal Relationships
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Newsletter

• One page
• Reflective and Inspirational
• Information Items at the end and keep to a
  minimum
• Newsletters are for affirmation, not criticism

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Handwritten Notes

• Lost art
• A good and thoughtful practice that communicates
  volumes
• Can help mend strained relationships

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Memorandum

• Functional
• Use sparingly

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Email

• Shouldnt be used a substitute for face to face
• It is a great tool and can save lots of time

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Formal Letter

• For the record communication
• Use when formality is required not to build
  relationships

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Extra Stuff Not in the Book
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Characteristics of Low and High Context
Communication Styles
Based on Beyond Culture by Edward T. Hall
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Low Context

• Individual Oriented
• rely on explicit coding of information being
  communicated less aware of contexts
• linear logic
• adjust to new situation quickly
• conflict may occur because of violations of
  individual expectations
• deal with conflict by revealment
• direct, confrontational attitude
• fact finding
• focus on action and solution
• open, direct strategies

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High Context

• group-oriented
• rely heavily on the physical context or the
  shared context of the transmitter and receiver
  very little is in the coded, explicit,
  transmitted part of the message
• spiral logic
• take time for contexting in new situation
• conflict may occur because of violations of
  collective expectations
• deal with conflict by concealment
• indirect, non-confrontational attitude
• face saving
• focus on relationship
• ambiguous, indirect strategies