Helicopter Parents:

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Helicopter Parents The Advisors Role Christine
Harrington Ph.D. September 25, 2006
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Helicopter Parents

• Hover, surveying the area for threats or
  perceived threats that may block son or daughter
  from success and are ready to land whenever
  necessary, often right on campus in your office!
• Term coined by Strauss and Howe (Millenials Go to
  College Strategies for a New Generation on
  Campus)

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Why hover?

• Technology (cell phones, e-mail) make it easier
  for increased contact
• Parent involvement has been very valued
• Disability services often shape good parent
  advocacy skills
• Financial motives (college is more expensive so
  failure comes at a higher price tag)

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Developmental considerations

• Identity vs. confusion (Who am I? -Erikson)
• Autonomy/Independence (Is he or she ready to
  function independently?)
• Parent-child relationships are re-defined during
  the college years
• Commuting to school vs. living on campus

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The Goal

• Both parent and college advisor want the student
  to take a road to success!

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When paths collide

• Parents
• Parent involvement and help
• Prevent mistakes
• Mistakes are seen as painful and not desired

• College
• Independence
• Choices
• Responsibilities
• Consequences
• Mistakes as learning opportunities

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What colleges are doing

• Dual orientation programs for parents (ex.
  Northeastern University)
• Separate tours for parents and students
• Virtual classrooms for parents (ex. Arizona State
  University)
• Designated staff person to respond to parent
  contact

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The Positive Side of Hovering

• Concerned, caring parent (good support person)
• Supportive of educational goals (financially and
  emotionally)
• The Advisors ally (Yeah!)
• Remember, the parent often plays a large role in
  enrollment, retention and graduation

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The Negative Side of Hovering

• Loss of opportunity to build confidence around
  problem-solving and decision making skills
• Increased pressure and anxiety for student and
  parent
• College resources being directed toward parents
  takes away from students

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Strategies

• Empathy
• Communication (verbal and non-verbal)
• Boundaries
• Remember each situation must be dealt with on a
  case by case basis!

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Empathy

• Seeing and experiencing the situation from the
  other persons perspective is very powerful and
  productive
• Parent involvement can be better understood with
  empathy
• Connect with parents feelings through validation
  (not necessarily agreement)

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Communication

• Direct questions to student first, ask for parent
  input as appropriate
• Eye contact focused primarily on student with
  recognition of parent presence
• Positively reinforce support provided by parent
  and offer guidance on how parents can be most
  helpful
• Encourage problem-solving by student

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Boundaries

• Consider meeting with student alone
• Offer to meet with parent and student together at
  end of meeting
• Clearly define roles and information that will
  and will not be shared (FERPA) in supportive not
  alienating way

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Cultural considerations

• Recognize that not all cultures value
  independence and individual decision making
• Helicopter spouses or other family members?

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Family Educational Rights and Privacy Act (FERPA)
considerations...

• Understanding privacy rights of student
• Responding to parents effectively without
  violating FERPA rights of student

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On-campus supports

• Other academic advisors and faculty members
• Department of Counseling and Career Services
• Dean of Student Development
• Campus Police

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Middlesex County College Vision Statement

• Middlesex County College puts learning first and
  measures its success only by the success of its
  students. All members of the college community
  contribute to student success.