HOW TO OVERCOME YOUR LONELINESS

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HOW TO OVERCOME YOUR LONELINESS
HOW LIFE COACHING WILL HELP YOU
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"Lonely, I'm Mr. lonely I have nobody, for my
own." Says Akon in his song- Lonely. Well, many
come up in my mind as I hear the word, loneliness
such as the 'The lonely' by Christina Perri, and
not forgetting one of the favorites, 'Scared to
be lonely' by Dua Lipa and Martin Garrix. We've
heard the word loneliness around us so much yet
most of us do not comprehend the actual sense of
the word. We've seen and heard as well as used
the word ourselves in a very casual way that
we've never really sort of identified with the
literal sense of it.

Researchers define loneliness as - " Perceived
social isolation, a feeling of not having the
social contacts one would like." This feeling of
loneliness can be felt anytime, anywhere, by
anyone. There's no particular finding that
suggests that this emotion is subjected to
certain conditions. Well, there's an error that
pops up when talking about this concept- trading
the word aloneness for loneliness or seclusion
for loneliness. That's a blunder! I must clear
the confusion between the three.


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So, being alone is markedly different from being
lonely. "Alone" defines the circumstance of not
having someone around while lonely is an emotion
that one feels because of not having someone or
sometimes, even in the presence of a large mass
of people, one can feel lonely deep inside.
Seclusion, on one hand, is a state in which an
individual engages with himself constructively,
carries out introspection of self, and gains a
perspective of life.
On the other hand, loneliness feels like a void,
bewildered state leading to distress. It doesn't
sum up here. The very renowned website-
Psychology Today affirms 7 types of loneliness!
Now, who would've contemplated that the word
we've been using for years so casually has such a
deeper meaning? Well, moving on, let me state
these 7 types below
New-situation loneliness
I'm-different loneliness
No sweetheart loneliness
No animal loneliness
No-time-for-me loneliness
Untrustworthy- friends loneliness
Quiet- presence loneliness


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Our need to associate is intrinsic, the vast
majority of us frequently feel desolate. We,
humans, are social animals and this innate urge
to be surrounded by other humans is not uncommon.
Chronic loneliness can be fatal! Loneliness
affects our physique adversely. Studies suggest
that an estimated 40 of us will feel hurtful
pangs of loneliness at some point in our lives.
Loneliness leads to disconnection and isolation
from society. Some may feel that the feeling
depends on the relationships that we have, our
friends, family, etc. But, in actuality,
loneliness nowhere depends on these superficial
factors. It's deeper than we can contemplate,
more subjective than our idea of objectivity.
Even the "right" partner can't get you out of
loneliness. An estimated 60 of lonesome people
are married according to studies. We might
visualize loneliness as a person in an obscure
room. But that's not the real picture. A person
among a crowd of hundreds standing in a music
concert can feel empty an individual residing
with a big joint family can feel the void deep
inside anyone hanging out with several friends
might feel the deep fatal sorrow of loneliness as
the life coaches in India comprehend it.



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What causes loneliness?

• ?Lifestyle differences People residing in urban
  areas are more prone to being lonely as compared
  to the ones in rural areas. Social interaction is
  lessened in urban areas whereas, in rural ones,
  people make more meaningful and deep connections
  with others around them. Similarly, juxtaposing
  other lifestyles based on different factors will
  give us the same results as one being more prone
  than the other.
• ?Social media Now this is one major source of
  emergence of the feeling of loneliness. Feeling
  empty and lonely can be attributed to being
  online for longer times for several reasons
  including cyberbullying, threat messages, the
  need for attention that is suppressed by chatting
  online, the subconscious need of human
  interaction not being fulfilled because of
  replacement by social media.

Now after meticulously knowing what loneliness
is, how it feels, we seek to find the causes of
the very distressful feeling. To mention a few, I
have listed some causes that I believe might lead
the pathway to the "lonely" destination.
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What causes loneliness?

• ?Learned helplessness This a concept in
  psychology that states that if a person has long
  been in an uncontrollable situation negatively
  affecting him/ her, they project it by doing
  nothing to change the forthcoming situations. A
  person might feel that he is not worthy of
  anyone's attention and that he can't do anything
  about it and won't try even a bit to change the
  circumstances. In such cases, the person indulges
  in the act of catastrophizing the situation.
• ?Youngsters have rescinded learning new skills
  and adopting new hobbies. This leads to feeling
  empty leading to loneliness. The various life
  coaches in India talk about this negligence of
  youngsters as they consider the youth as the most
  imminent population out of all.

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How life coaches can help you fight loneliness?

• Life coaches in India are quite in the spotlight
  nowadays. They are considered to be of imminent
  benefit to the public after all they guide us
  through the difficulties of our lives. Loneliness
  is one such phenomenon that these life coaches in
  India have talked about a lot. They are cynosure
  to our dilapidated sense of perception of lives.
• Life coaches in India such a Guru Gaur Das talks
  about loneliness and its effects on ourselves.
  They understand the austerity of the feeling and
  guide us our way out towards prosperity and
  happiness.
• Here's how they sum up the intervention for
  loneliness
• Life coaches in India apprise us to put ourselves
  first. We must create a new real persona of
  ourselves keeping in mind that this is not going
  to happen all of a sudden in a gist but is a slow
  process and we should gradually work towards it
  with patience.

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?Ask for help it's been taught to us since
childhood that if we are stuck in an
uncontrollable, difficult situation, we should
resurrect the flag up and ask for help. But it
seems that as we grow, these basic learnings of
life go in the trash. Seems like our ego
predominates our need to surrender to the
negative situation. The life coach tells us to be
careful with our ego.
?Self- love practicing self-love is one
necessity to get back the self-esteem that
degrades due to loneliness.
Seek deeper answers Rather than looking for
materialistic answers, seek deeper answers to the
questions arising about loneliness. Seek answers
to the "why" question. Loneliness leads to
cognitive distortions so the significant
questions must be answered with deep
introspection.
?Learn to enjoy your company well, here we
should learn a skill or two from the introverts.
Life coaches put significant pressure on learning
new skills and adopting new hobbies as they never
go in vain and help you fight loneliness.
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?Break from social media social media is one
platform that posses a great threat to a lot of
aspects of life. As I mentioned earlier, it is a
major cause of the deep subconscious feeling of
loneliness in today's time. Take a break from it,
move out, try out new things, eat, paint, travel,
do anything you like instead.
?Prosocial behavior it is suggested that
engaging ourselves in altruistic acts helps us in
eradicating the deep subconscious loneliness and
improves our self- perception, and self- esteem.
?Other behaviors that the life coaches in India
suggest include valuing our relationships with
others, making yourself feel worthy of others'
attention, going out, having a good diet,
following a disciplined routine, etc.

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