Communicating with Confidence

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Communicating with Confidence Impact

• Claire Jones
• Inspiria Consulting
• 30 April 2009

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Communication is what the other person
understands about what has been said
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'Would you tell me, please, which way I ought to
go from here? asked Alice'That depends a good
deal on where you want to get to,' said the
Cat. 'I don't much care where----' said
Alice.   'Then it doesn't matter which way you
go,' said the Cat.   '----so long as I get
somewhere,' Alice added as an explanation.  'Oh,
you're sure to do that,' said the Cat, 'if you
only walk enough.'
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Step 1

• What do I want to achieve from this
  communication?
• Are my goals specific enough?
• are you giving them enough (or too much) detail?
• What might the objections be?

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Communication is what the other person
understands about what has been said
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Whats said
Whats heard
filters
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Filters language structure

• Motivation
• Level
• Direction
• Source
• Reason
• Aspect

• Working traits
• Scale
• Attention direction
• Stress response
• Style
• Convincer

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Language structure

• Motivation
• Level
• Direction
• Source
• Reason
• Aspect

• Working traits
• Scale
• Attention direction
• Stress response
• Style
• Convincer

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Direction (the carrot or the stick)

• Towards
• Key words include attain, have, include, achieve,
  get
• Energised by and focused on the goal
• Good at managing priorities
• Can have trouble recognising what should be
  avoided

• Away from
• Key words include avoid, get rid of, exclude,
  steer clear of
• Energised by threats and deadlines
• Good at pinpointing obstacles
• Can have trouble maintaining focus as easily
  distracted

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Direction questions

• Whats important about x?
• Why bother about y?
• What does z give you?
• Listen to the structure of the answer
• Ask the question 2 or 3 times

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Language structure

• Motivation
• Level
• Direction
• Source
• Reason
• Aspect

• Working traits
• Scope
• Attention direction
• Stress response
• Style
• Convincer

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Aspect (evolution, revolution or stability)

• Same
• Key words include similar, identical, stable, in
  common, maintain
• Want their situation to stay the same
• When change is happening, focus on the process

• Difference
• Key words include switch, new, transform, change,
  brand new
• Love change, needing drastic change regularly
• When change is happening, focus on the
  destination

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Aspect questions

• Whats the relationship between x and y? (eg your
  job, your organisation)
• A difference person will tell you about the
  changes while a same person will talk about
  similarities

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Language structure

• Motivation
• Level
• Direction
• Source
• Reason
• Aspect

• Working traits
• Scale
• Attention direction
• Stress response
• Style
• Convincer

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Scale (the wood for the trees)

• General
• Overview, summary
• Simple sentences with few details
• Random order
• Big picture

• Specific
• Lots of detail
• Lots of adverbs and adjectives
• Speak in sequences
• Seem aware only of the steps immediately before
  and after the one they are on

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Scope questions

• Any question listen to the structure of the
  answer
• Structured or random
• Long or short
• Their response to being interrupted

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Language structure

• Motivation
• Level
• Direction
• Source
• Reason
• Aspect

• Working traits
• Scale
• Attention direction
• Stress response
• Style
• Convincer

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Convincer (clinching the deal)

• Number of examples
• Need to have the information a certain number of
  times
• Automatic
• Take a small amount of info and decide
  immediately
• Jump to conclusions

• Consistent
• Never completely convinced!
• Go through the whole process again and again
• Period of time
• Gather information until they reach a trigger
• May wait before final decision with no further
  input

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Convincer questions

• How many times do they need to demo x before you
  are convinced?
• Numbers people will give you a number
• If the question puzzles them, this eliminates
  numbers people. Other typical answers
• Automatic I can tell right away
• Consistent you have to judge each piece of
  work
• Time over a couple of months

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Step 2

• What filters might people have?

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Step 3

• How can I phrase my message to make it easier for
  the audience to hear?
• remember, the meaning of communication is what is
  understood

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Step 4

• Experiment - and see what happens!

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Exercise

• Person 1
• Towards
• Difference
• General
• Automatic Convincer

• Person 2
• Away from
• Same
• Specific
• Number Convincer

What would you have to consider if the person, or
the culture of the group, is like person 1 or
person 2?
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What else?

• Being clear about your outcome
• Understanding the position of the other person or
  group
• Understanding motivation
• Modelling great communicators
• Who am I when I am communicating?
• Influencing to achieve your outcome

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• Todays notes and additional materials can be
  found at
• www.inspiria.co.uk/workshops
• claire_at_inspiria.co.uk
• Thank you

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