Understanding EQ: The Basics of Emotional Intelligence

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Understanding EQ The Basics of Emotional
Intelligence

• Created and Presented by
• Jennifer Kalligonis and
• Michele Geary

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What is EQ (Emotional Intelligence)?

• The ability to monitor ones own and others
• emotions, to discriminate among them, and to
• use the information to guide ones own
• thinking and actions.

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EQ vs IQ

• IQ remains relatively fixed for an individuals
  lifetime
• EQ can increase over in an individuals lifespan

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How Did EQ Become Popular?

• In the past, natural intelligence or book
  smarts would have been considered the key to
  success
• In 1990, two psychologists from the University of
  New Hampshire and Yale University (Jack Mayer and
  Peter Salovey) published academic papers on
  Emotional Intelligence

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• In 1995, Daniel Goleman used the information from
  those academic papers and created a best selling
  book titled Emotional Intelligence
• The book was considered revolutionary because it
  asserted that Emotional Intelligence was more
  influential in ones success than natural
  intelligence

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Abilities involved in EQ

• Self-awareness recognizing a feeling as it
  happens
• Self- regulation Handling your emotions rather
  than letting the emotions handle you.
• Motivation Channeling emotions to reach a goal
  taking initiative and striving to improve
  persevere when faced with setbacks and
  frustrations.

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Abilities involved in EQ cont

• Empathy Sensitivity to others feelings and
  concerns and taking their perspective
  compassion appreciating the differences in how
  people feel about things.
• Social Skills Ability to accurately read social
  situations and interact smoothly with others.

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Why is EQ important?

• EQ is the capacity to create positive outcomes
  in your relationships with others and with
  yourself (in work, school, and life).
• EQ has been associated with better results in
  leadership, sales, academic performance,
  marriage, friendships, and health.

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EQ and College Students

• In 2000, a research study was conducted with
  college freshman and EQ
• Researchers learned that students with higher
  levels of EQ had better retention
• The students with lower EQ were less likely to
  return to school for their sophomore year

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Research and Quotes on EQ

• As much as 80 of adult "success" comes from EQ
  (Daniel Goleman, 1995).
• 75 of careers are derailed for reasons related
  to emotional competencies, including inability to
  handle interpersonal problems unsatisfactory
  team leadership during times of difficulty or
  conflict or inability to adapt to change or
  elicit trust (The Center for Creative Leadership,
  1994).

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Research on EQ

• 85-95 of the difference between a "good leader"
  and an "excellent leader" is due to emotional
  intelligence (Goleman, 1998).
• People who have poor abilities at reading body
  language are less academically successful (Katz
  and Hoover, 1997).

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Research on EQ

• UCLA research indicates that only 7 of
  leadership success is attributable to intellect
  93 of success comes from trust, integrity,
  authenticity, honesty, creativity, presence, and
  resilience (cited in Cooper and Sawaf, 1996).

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What is your EQ?

• Please complete the questionnaire

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Question 1

• 1. You are very tired and have a lot of studying
  to do when your boss asks you to work late. You
  respond by sayingA Sorry, I cant.
  B Id really like to
  help you, but tonight is a bad night for me.

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Answer

• The best answer is B.
• The reason B is a better answer is because it
  lets the person know you have a desire to help
  them, you are acknowledging their need.
• Saying Id really like to help you makes a big
  difference in this response.

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Question 2

• Your college professor asks you to pair off with
  a person sitting near you. You react by
• A Sitting and waiting for someone to introduce
  him or herself.
• B Introducing yourself to the person next to
  you.
  

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Answer 2

• Obviously, B is the better choice.
• Many people are uncomfortable making the initial
  contact with new people. But, the higher your
  EQ, the greater your ability to overcome your
  discomfort and make others feel comfortable.

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Question 3

• You buy your lunch in the cafeteria and sit down
  to eat with a friend. You notice there is a girl
  a few seats down who is eating alone. You respond
  by
• A Ignoring the person and talking with your
  friend.
• B Introducing yourself and inviting the person
  to sit with you.

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Answer 3

• The better choice is B.
• Similar to the previous question, it may seem
  like an uncomfortable situation, but the higher
  your EQ the greater your ability to befriend
  people.

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Question 4

• You notice your mother is somewhat impatient and
  appears to be very tired. You decide to
• A Ask her how she is doing and if there is
  anything you can do to help her.
• B Dont ask anything, and assume that if she
  needs something, shell ask you.

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Answer 4

• The better answer is A.
• A shows a concern for her well-being.
  Sometimes just asking a person about their
  feelings lets them know you care.
• It is also better because there is an offer to
  somehow assist her in improving her situation.
  It shows willingness to help.

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Question 5

• Which statement best describes you?
• A I never forget a birthday of a friend or
  relative.
• B I try to remember peoples birthdays, but its
  hard to keep up with and I dont always do it.

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Answer 5

• A is the better answer.
• Remembering information about other people
  signifies to those people that you care about
  them.
• Whether it is a birthday, an anniversary or other
  special event for them, you are letting them know
  you think about them.

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Question 6

• You are having a friend and his new girlfriend
  for dinner. Before inviting them
• A Call and make sure they both like what you are
  making and that you have been respectful to diet
  restrictions (veggie, diabetic, etc.)
• B Go to the market and buy your favorite foods.

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Answer 6

• A is a better choice.
• A shows that you recognize that the girlfriend
  is new to your social crowd. She may feel shy or
  uncomfortable, and you dont want to compound
  that by her not being able to eat with everyone.
• It shows a solid ability to put yourself in
  someone elses shoes.

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Question 7

• When someone buys you a gift, you
• A Make sure to get them a Thank You Note
  promptly.
• B Normally forget the Thank You note, but try
  to remember to say it in person.

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Answer 7

• Emotionally intelligent people not only make
  attempts to treat others well, they also
  sincerely appreciate the thoughtfulness of
  friends and family.
• Emotionally intelligent people always acknowledge
  the kindness of others.

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Question 8

• When driving in your car, if another driver is
  driving poorly, you generally
• A Ignore it and keep driving.
• B Become angry and aggressive.

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Answer 8

• Obviously, A is the better answer.
• Being emotionally intelligent shows an ability to
  acknowledge and manage your emotions.
• You know when to choose your battles

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Question 9

• If someone criticizes you, how do you react?
• A Become defensive and critical to the person
  criticizing you.
• B Inquire as to why the person is not happy with
  you, try to discern if the complaint is
  reasonable.

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Answer 9

• The better answer is B, although it is difficult
  to do this.
• People often feel attacked when they are
  criticize and they react by attacking back.
• Emotionally intelligent people realize they are
  not always perfect and seek to learn the truth
  about their strengths and weaknesses, rather than
  attack the messenger.

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Question 10

• Which better describes you?
• A I never forget a name or a face.
• B Im always forgetting peoples names and what
  they look like.

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Answer 10

• Obviously, the better answer is A.
• Emotionally intelligent people remember details
  about other people.
• They know that it makes other people feel good,
  and tend to like them more, when they remember
  information about them.

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Results of EQ Test

• Highest Possible Score 10
• The higher your score, the higher your EQ

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Raising your EQ

• First Step
• Increase your Self-Awareness

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Increase your EQ Self-Awareness

• 1. Examine how you make judgements
• 2. Tune into your senses
• 3. Get in touch with your feelings
• 4. Learn what your intentions are
• 5. Pay attention to your actions

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Johari Window

• OPEN- you know, others know
• HIDDEN- you know, others dont know
• BLIND- others know, you dont know
• UNKNOWN- no one knows.

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Conclusion

• First, seek to understand yourself.
• Then seek to understand others.
• Then apply that knowledge responsibly.