RELATIONAL DIALECTICS

1
RELATIONAL DIALECTICS

• Of Baxter and Montgomery

2
Basic Approach

• Intimate relationships organized around the
  dynamic interplay of opposing tendencies
• Interpersonal relationships are indeterminate
  processes of ongoing flux
• Relational dialectics highlights the tensions in
  close personal ties

3
Contradictions

• Contradiction is the dynamic interplay between
  unified oppositions
• Tensions between intimacy and independence
• Bonding occurs through interdependence and
  dependence, yet people need personal space
• There is no ultimate resolution
• Dialectical tension provides opportunity for
  dialogue

4
Dialectic internal to the relationship

• Closeness, certainty, openness need to be
  balanced against autonomy, novelty, privacy
• Tension between connectedness (closeness) and
  separateness (autonomy) is common to all
  relationships if one axis wins, the relationship
  loses

5
Dialectic between couple and community

• Powerful dialectics include
• Inclusion and Seclusion (social stimulation and
  support vs. privacy)
• Conventionality and Uniqueness (reproduction of
  relational patterns vs. needs of intimacy)
• Revelation and Concealment

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Dealing with Contradictions (1-4)

• Denial (responding to one pole of dialectic) -
  not satisfying
• Disorientation (helplessness) dysfunctional
• Spiraling alteration between two poles
• most common response
• Segmentation (compartmentalization) of
  activities between poles

7
Dealing with Contradictions (5-8)

• Balance (compromise strategy, but mutes the full
  force of the two poles) assumes that when one
  party wins, the other loses
• Integration (partners respond simultaneously to
  opposing forces without dilution or delusion)
• Recalibration (temporarily reframing so that tugs
  and pulls no longer seem oppositional)
• Reaffirmation (acknowledgment that dialectical
  tensions are ongoing)

8
Critique

• Not a theory but a meta-theoretical perspective
  is this a falsifiable theory?
• Potentially contradicts other theories which
  stress such notions as shared meaning, warm
  communication, increasing certainty
• Relationships perceived as very messy each
  relational force is in opposition to every other
  pole separateness is in opposition to
  connectedness, openness, certainty
• Too heavy on anecdotal support
• Requires that we listen to many voices
• Needs to deal with gender issues and expectations
  about gender behavior