Show Not Tell

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Show Not Tell

• Description by Design

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How is writing like exercise?

• Practice writing is like push-ups.
• We must exercise our writing muscles.
• The more we write, the stronger our writing will
  be.

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The Bus Stop Tell Version

• Each morning I ride the bus to school. I wait
  along with other people who ride my bus.
  Sometimes the bus is late and we get angry. Some
  guys start fights and stuff just to have
  something to do. Im always glad when the bus
  finally comes.

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The Bus Stop Show Version

• A bus arrived. It discharged its passengers,
  closed its doors with a hiss and disappeared over
  the crest of the hill. Not one of the people
  waiting at the bus stop had attempted to board.
  One woman wore a sweater that was too small, a
  long skirt, white sweater socks, and house
  slippers. One man was in his undershirt. Another
  man wore shoes with the toes cut out, a soiled
  blue serge jacket and brown pants. There was
  something wrong with these people. They made
  faces. A mouth smiled at nothing and unsmiled,
  smiled and unsmiled. A head shook in vehement
  denial. Most of them carried brown paper bags
  rolled tight against their stomachs.

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Show Not Tell

• The purpose of Show Not Tell is to change bland
  telling sentences that use overly general words
  into showing sentences full of specific,
  enlightening details.
• Example
• My room is a mess.

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Show Not Tell

• On patches of my rooms wooden floor, tiny black
  ants feasted on chocolate cookie crumbs and stray
  pieces of buttered popcorn. A deck of cards and
  parts of board games teeter-tottered atop mounds
  of shorts, t-shirts, jeans, sneakers, and stiff,
  dirty socks.

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Telling Sentence

• It was a rainy day.

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Showing Version

• The air was the color of unpainted steel. It hung
  like a heavy, damp blanket over trees, cars,
  houses, and me. I heard the sound of small
  pebbles falling without end on the roof, on the
  yard, and on the driveway. Small rivers moved
  constantly down my window,

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Verbal Practice

• The kid was rich.
• The music was loud.

rich
loud
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Now Its Your Turn

• On your next available page, write one of the
  following telling sentence.
• He was scared.
• The pizza was delicious.
• She was so angry.
• The party was wild.
• The monster was really ugly.
• He is sick.
• Now write a showing version.

scared
delicious
angry
wild
ugly
sick