Walking a Mile in Your Children's Shoes

1
Walking a Mile in Your Children's Shoes

• by
• Joe Miller
• Facilitator for Nurturing Parenting
• Fairfax County Department of Family Services

2
Walking a Mile in Your Children's Shoes

• What Does That Mean?
• It Means that to get close to your children you
  have to understand what they are thinking.
• We call that Empathy.

3
Empathy in Nurturing Parenting Has Three
Components

• Empathy has to do with the way parents discipline
  their children. The way children are treated
  shapes the way children will respond to others in
  distress.
• The second part of empathy has to do with the way
  parents respond to the emotions of a child.
  Empathic responses honor the feelings and let the
  child know their feelings are accepted.

4
Empathy in Nurturing Parenting Has Three
Components(Cont.)

• A third part of empathy is the ability of the
  parent to be aware of childrens needs.
• A parent uses empathy to help children get their
  needs met by understanding their needs.
• Empathy helps parent understand what the child
  feels and by doing so the parent can help the
  child met their needs.

5
Needs Have Six Categories

• Physical Needs. The need for food, sleep,
  exercise, sex, air and water.
• Emotional Needs. The need for love, PRAISE,
  security, trust and other basic emotions.
• Social Needs. The need for friendship and
  companionship.

6
Needs Have Six Categories (Cont.)

• Intellectual Needs. The need for stimulation of
  new ideas or thoughts.
• Spiritual Needs. The need for belonging and
  membership. The need to believe in the power of
  goodness. Membership in a family is a spiritual
  experience.
• Creative Needs. The need to express ones inner
  self. Creative needs are expressed in areas like
  a persons appearance, dress, dance, poetry and
  cooking.

7
What Is It All About?

• All childrens behavior is purposeful that is,
  to get some need meet.
• To get good behavior from a child, you should
  meet their needs since they are much happier when
  their needs are met.
• Praise is used to satisfy some of the needs of
  the child and is also an excellent way to build
  self esteem.

8
Being Raised By Praise

• Praise is the single most powerful tool parents
  can use to increase their childs self-worth.
• There are two types of praise.
• Praise for Being means noticing and appreciating
  a person.
• Praise for Doing means noticing and appreciating
  a persons efforts or performance.

9
Being Raised By Praise (Cont.)

• Never combine the goodness of a persons being
  with their efforts. Keep the two separate.
• Example No - I love you for working
  hard.
• Yes- I love you for being you.

10
Being Raised By Praise (Cont.)

• Pay attention to the behavior you want, and
  praise your child when they behave that way.
• Accepting Praise from others is an important part
  in recognizing your own self-worth.
• Touch is a great way to show pleasure by using it
  with praise for doing or being.

11
When the Chips Are Down!

• Strategies for Improving Childrens Behavior.
• by Richard Lavoie

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Show Movie When the Chips Are Down.

• The video is intended for Special Educations
  Teachers and Learning Disabilities and
  Discipline,
• But is also applicable to most parents and their
  children in building self-worth and improving the
  relationship with your child.
• Let the movie begin!!!!

13
Thank you for Coming and Learning More About
Nurturing Your Child

• The End