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Difficult Conversations in the Workplace

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Difficult Conversations in the Workplace Rea Freeland Ron Placone Discussion over Dinner What types of issues or situations have you found to lead to difficult ... – PowerPoint PPT presentation

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Title: Difficult Conversations in the Workplace


1
Difficult Conversations in the Workplace
  • Rea Freeland
  • Ron Placone

2
Discussion over Dinner
  • What types of issues or situations have you found
    to lead to difficult conversations in the
    workplace?
  • What are some factors that can make these
    conversations difficult?
  • Well start our large group discussion in
  • about 15-20 minutes.

3
Objectives
  • To recognize common patterns of communication
    that can produce difficult conversations and the
    underlying factors that make them difficult.
  • To discuss and apply models for dealing with
    difficult conversations with supervisors,
    colleagues, and subordinates.

4
Agenda
  • Briefly discuss examples from groups
  • Present models for handling difficult
    conversations
  • Explore options for sample scenarios in small
    groups and as a large group
  • Summarize strategies and problems to watch out
    for

5
Models and Related Strategies
  • Getting to Yes
  • Getting Past No
  • Feedback Approaches
  • Exchange Theory
  • Learning Conversations

6
Common Components of Successful Conversations
  • Prepare, especially where to begin.
  • Know your own interests and the essence of what
    you need.
  • Anticipate (or find out) others interests.
  • Focus on interests and behaviors, not
    personalities.
  • Create an environment based on trust.

7
Getting to Yes Strategy
  • Separate People from the Problem
  • Focus on Interests, not Positions
  • Invent Options for Mutual Gain
  • Use Objective Criteria
  • Develop Your BATNA
  • (Best Alternative to a Negotiated Agreement)

8
Getting Past No Strategy
  • Go to the Balcony
  • Step to Their Side
  • Reframe
  • Build Them a Golden Bridge
  • Use Power to Educate

9
Feedback/Learning Approach
  • Focus on the situation, issue or behavior that
    you hope will change.
  • Recognize accomplishments and effort.
  • Frame comments in terms of perceptions and
    potential consequences.
  • Be specific, future-oriented, and timely.
  • Engage in joint problem solving.

10
Avoiding Common Pitfalls
  • When giving feedback
  • Invite questions and clarifications maintain
    two-way communication.
  • Acknowledge the others concerns listen for what
    may be difficult for them to change.
  • Follow up to help them with new approaches
    change is seldom straightforward.

11
Avoiding Common Pitfalls
  • When receiving feedback
  • Listen calmly avoid over-explaining.
  • Work hard to see the others perspective and ask
    questions to clarify as needed.
  • Assume good intentions unless clearly proven
    otherwise.

12
Exchange Theory
  • Assume the other is a potential ally.
  • Clarify your goals and priorities.
  • Diagnose your allys goals, concerns, and needs.
  • Assess your resources relative to your allys
    wants.
  • Diagnose your relationship with your ally (e.g.
    do you need to prove your good intentions?).
  • Determine an exchange approach be prepared for
    expectations of reciprocity.
  • See handout for examples of valued currencies
    that can often be exchanged.

13
Learning Conversations
  • Analyze the difference in your view and the other
    partys view of events.
  • Intentions
  • Impact on the other
  • Contributions to the difficulty
  • Impact on identity
  • Decide what you want to accomplish and whether
    talking is the best way.
  • Start the conversation as the difference in your
    perspectives and listen carefully.
  • Invent options to meet each partys important
    concerns and interests.

14
Sample Scenarios
  • Each small group of 3-5 will have a scenario and
    will be asked to consider
  • What could make this scenario difficult for each
    of you in the group?
  • What range of strategies would the group consider
    to handle it?

15
Types of Scenarios
  • You and a supervisor
  • You as the supervisor
  • You and a colleague/peer
  • You as a member of a project team
  • You negotiating in a difficult situation

16
Consider for each scenario
  • Have you had related experiences?
  • Where might the conversation best begin?
  • What would you watch out for in
  • Word choice
  • Tone of voice
  • Nonverbal communication

17
How do you let your boss know if you think he/she
is making an error?
18
How do you give directions to a strong-willed
employee who insists on doing things his/her own
way and who often argues with you?
19
How do you respond when a colleague believes you
are treading on his/her perceived turf, even when
the roles are ambiguous?
20
How might you give unsolicited negative feedback
to someone on your project team who is making
others tasks more difficult?
21
How could you negotiate (e.g. for a job or
promotion) when you cant or dont want to
compromise on one of their top priorities?
22
Concluding Points
  • Be aware of timing waiting to talk only helps a
    difficult situation if the cause is likely to
    change on its own.
  • Recognize the possibility of transforming
    relationships trusting someone enough to talk
    about difficult matters can lead to more
    constructive interactions.

23
Elements of Building Trust
  • Take responsibility for your own actions.
  • Stay interested in others without much
    self-promotion.
  • Act to draw out the best in others.
  • Appreciate and value differences.
  • Tell the truth when it matters.
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