How to Handle Negativity in the Workplace

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Dealing with ChangeWestern Service
CenterFederal Motor Carrier Safety Administration
Created byChérie Carter-Scott, Ph.D.
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Change is when things are different than they
were

• Uncertain Unfamiliar
• Unpredictable Unknown
• Unstable Uncomfortable
• Disorganized Disorienting
• Disruptive Disturbing

Out of Control
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There are only two types of change

• Initiated by you
• Intrinsic change
• Initiated by someone other than you
• Extrinsic change

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Different types of Change

• Intrinsic Changes
• change in marital status
• health initiatives
• expand family
• relocation
• career or job change
• personal development
• social activities
• buying something

• Extrinsic Changes
• health
• environmental
• governmental
• natural disasters
• financial
• revolutionary
• technological
• organizational change
• paradigmatic change

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Extrinsic change can cause

• Stress
• Fear
• Doubt
• Confusion
• Uncertainty
• Anxiety
• Isolation
• Aberrant behavior

• Resistance
• Lack of motivation
• Feeling
• out of control
• overwhelmed
• being unable
• without choice
• panic or apathy

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When change challenges your choices, do you still
feel able?

• Unanticipated
• Unplanned
• Unforeseen
• Unexpected

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Change Inventory-written

• What changes have you experienced?
• In the last six months?
• Were they extrinsic or intrinsic?
• Which ones were easy?
• Which ones were difficult?
• What made the difference?

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Small Group Discussion

• What changes are you dealing with?
• Which changes are working?
• What changes are you concerned about?
• What resolution do you want?
• By what date?

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Discoveries

• What did you write?
• What did you discuss?
• What discoveries did you make?

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Change Challenges Choices
Change Stress I cant do it!
Negaholism
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Standard/Reality Bind

• If the reality of any situation is different
  from the standard that you have established,
  then you have a built-in margin for beat-up!

STANDARD
The Margin for beat-up
REALITY
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The two sides of us

• I can
• I cant

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Another job ???
Early Retirement
My own Business
What do I want?
A smaller house
Move to a new place
My secret wish
Something totally different
Financial concerns
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Confusion
Doubt
Fear
What do I want?
Overwhelm
Feelings
Change
Uncertainty
Transitions
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The I Cant side takes over

• I cant do it
• I cant deal with it
• I cant afford it
• I cant get it all done
• I cant imagine it
• I cant learn it
• I cant get it
• I cant handle it

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Negaholism - What is it?
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A tendency toward negativity in thought, word, or
behavior

• A deep feeling of insufficiency
• A hole in the soul
• Emptiness

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Cycle of Negativity
Feelings Guilt, Embarrassment, Vulnerability
The not enough syndrome
Overwhelm
Compulsive, addictive, perfectionistic behavior
Short-term gratification
Condition returns
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Feeling that they make no difference
Lack of enthusiasm
Biding their time
Negaholic
Inconsistency
Avoidance
Dread internal politics
Failure to Walk the Talk
This too will pass?
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Six Reasons People Become Negaholic on the Job

• 1. Low self esteem
• 2. Old hurts or resentments from the past
• 3. Wrong match of person and job
• 4. Acting out negatively to get attention
• 5. Doing a job that is over their head
• 6. A chemical imbalance in their system

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Ten Warning Signs of a Dysfunctional Organization

• Avoid / Deny reality of an unpleasant situation
• Excessive need to control situations
• Tendency towards secrecy
• Discourages expression of emotions
• Inability to address/deal with issues
• Guarding taboo topics
• Obsessive loyalty to the corporation
• Inability to be consistent in mood
• Rigid thinking
• Exhibiting compulsive behavior

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Why is Organizational Change Challenging?

• Resistance to change (the unknown)
• Perception that the status quo is fine
• Cynicism about the project
• Conflicting goals
• Lack of resources
• Culture or values change

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Coaching Skills

• Empowering others to
• Clarify their vision
• Formulate an action plan
• Manifest new realities

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Four Things Necessary to Cause Vision to Become
Reality

• Desire
• Willingness
• Belief
• Commitment

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How to Choose an Item

• Something you are
• Thinking about
• Preoccupied with
• Putting off
• Worried about
• On the verge of choosing
• Procrastinating about

My Item
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What does Coaching mean?

• Connecting
• Listening
• 100 attention
• Supporting
• Intuiting
• Easing the process
• Empowering

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The Purpose of Coaching

• To clarify
• To sort out the issues
• To make choices
• To find your power
• To take action
• To help another translate vision to reality

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Choice

• To select freely,
• from a series of alternatives,
• that which you want.

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Demonstration

• Volunteer needed who
• Has a real item in mind
• Is willing to discuss it in front of the group
• Is ready and willing to get clear on it NOW

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ObservationsCommentsQuestions
What did you notice?
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Exercise

• With your partner
• Decide who is A B
• Bs go first
• A coaches B
• 10 minutes
• Feedback on the exercise
• Switch roles
• Feedback

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InsightsDiscoveriesObservations
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Positive Steps to Overcome Negaholism
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The Positive Approach to Overcoming Negativity
Vision
Communication
Implementation
Strategy
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Four keys to make a vision become reality

• Desire
• Willingness
• Belief
• Commitment

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Actions to Change Any Behavior

• Become aware of what you are doing.
• Acknowledge what youre aware of.
• Choose to change the behavior.
• Make a plan which will work.
• Commit to the plan.
• Follow up and follow through.
• Create external accountability.

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10 Key Points to Take Charge of Change

• 6. Follow up, monitor, offer feedback.
• 7. Present choices.
• 8. Exercise consequence management.
• 9. Reward, recognize, remunerate.
• 10. Celebrate, celebrate, celebrate!

• 1. Determine your "desired outcome.
• 2. Focus on the outcome, not the current
  situation.
• 3. Communicate out-
• comes.
• 4. Make your expectations
• clear to all.
• 5. Articulate "winnable" timelines.

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Stable Ground!

• Who am I?
• What are my values?
• What is important to me?
• What do I deeply care about?
• What do I want my life to be about?
• What changes am I willing to make now?

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Seven Actions to Change Behaviors

• Become aware of what I am doing.
• Acknowledge what I am aware of.
• Choose to change the behavior.
• Make a plan which will work.
• Commit to the plan.
• Follow up and follow through.
• Create external accountability.

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21 Repetitions to Create Permanent Behavior
Change
Sun
Mon
Tue
Wed
Thurs
Fri
Sat
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Summary

• Successful Change Management is a function of
  effective relationships
• All people value being respected
• Clarifying expectations is essential
• Being on the same page is key
• Clear communication is an essential tool
• Celebrate successes!

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• God grant me the Serenity to
• Accept the things I cannot change
• The courage to change the things I can and
• The wisdom to know the difference