Safe Environment Training for Staff and Volunteers Keeping Boundaries

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Safe Environment Training for Staff and
VolunteersKeeping Boundaries

• Diocese of St. Cloud

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Recommendations for Keeping Boundaries

• Do not stay alone in a room with a child/youth
  unless there is a window permitting others to see
  in or the door is open.
• Do think before you act. Ask yourself how
  someone else might perceive what you are doing.
  If the child /youth leaves your room or other
  area and claims child abuse, a closed area with
  no visual access would leave little room for
  defense.

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Discussion Question
Do not stay alone with a child/youth Discuss
ideas on ways to meet with a student that can be
Confidential but not put you or the youth at
risk, e.g. far end of the lunch room, library,
gymnasiumetc.
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Keeping Boundaries

• Do not allow children/youth to become overly
  friendly or familiar with you. They shouldnt be
  calling you by your first name or nickname.
• There is a difference between being
  friendly and being friends with children/youth.
  Boundaries between adults and young persons must
  be enforced. Insisting on proper titles is one
  way to keep boundaries.

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Discussion Question

• Do not allow children /youth to become overly
  friendly
• Reflect on what you like
• How would you like to be addressed and how does
  this fit in your situation.
• Discuss your comfort level of using a title and
  practice using title for development of comfort.

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Keeping boundaries

• Do not engage in private correspondence with
  students. If you receive personal communication
  from a child/youth and the communication is not
  appropriate, keep a copy of the communication and
  do not respond unless you have received
  permission from a supervisor.
• It is not uncommon for a child/youth to develop
  crushes and try to communicate on a peer level.
  If one receives such communication, it is best
  not to respond and report the occurrence to ones
  supervisor for everyones protection.

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Discussion Question

• Do not engage in private correspondence
• Discuss examples of situations that may come up.
  i.e.
• Example RE Coordinator Tom receives a letter
  at home from Jane who thanks him for the extra
  help on her religion project. She says she thinks
  he is a wonderful teacher. What do you do with
  this letter?
• Example Youth Minister Jim gets a bouquet of
  flowers delivered to his home from Jane and her
  mom thanking him for the extra help. What
  should he do about this?

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Keeping Boundaries

• Do not visit children/youth in their homes unless
  their parents are present.
• Being alone with young persons can give an
  appearance of impropriety. Many accusations of
  sexual abuse are alleged to have occurred when
  adults were present in the home of a child/youth
  when parents were absent. In particular, if there
  is no one home other than the child/youth, it
  becomes a question of your word against the
  child/youth, if an allegation of misconduct is
  made.

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Discussion Question

• Do not visit children/youth in their homes
• Religion Teacher Jane makes an appointment to
• visit Tom and his parents at their home
  because
• of serious concerns about Toms performance.
  
• When Jane arrives, Tom is there but not his
• parents. What does Jane do? Discuss.
• Jane invites Youth Minister Tom to her house
  to
• work on a volunteer project along with other
  
• students from class. What does Tom do?

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Keeping Boundaries

• Do not invite children/youth to your home.
• For the same reason as the previous slide do not
  invite children/youth into your home unless other
  adults are present.

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Discussion Question
Do not invite children/youth to your home Its
nearing the end of the year and as a religion
teacher you are feeling generous because its
been a very good year for your class. You live
on a lake and want to invite the children to your
house for swimming and dinner. Is this all
right? Youth minister Jane has not felt well and
is home but there is a big event coming up at the
end of the week and you think Tom needs some
special help. You invite him to come to your
house after school for an hour. Discuss. Which
is a better situation? Two adults unrelated in
home where students are present or a husband and
wife?
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Keeping Boundaries

• Do not transport students in your vehicle.
• Obviously, there exists the same problematic
  situation of an adult being alone with a child or
  youth. In addition, the adult may assume
  personal liability for any accident or injury.
  It can be very tempting to respond to a
  child/youths request for a ride home, but a
  better approach is to wait in an open area until
  transportation arrives.

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Discussion Question
Do not transport students in your vehicle
Could two adults be in a car with students?
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Keeping Boundaries

• Do not take the role of surrogate parent with a
  student.
• Educators, catechists, or volunteers should not
  take on the role of a parent when they are with
  children/youth.

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Discussion Question
Do not take the role of surrogate parent
Example Tommy loves to help Religion Teacher
Jane after class. She likes him and after the
project is finished plays a game with him. Tommy
tells her about how lonely he is because Mom and
Dad are always busy. What should she do?
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Keeping Boundaries

• Do not give students your home or cell phone
  number without the permission and knowledge of
  your supervisor.
• While it is true that many numbers are listed in
  the phone book and are readily available, it is
  prudent to not give such information unless ones
  supervisor is informed. In the event of an
  allegation of abuse, the giving of ones personal
  phone numbers to children/youth can raise a
  specter of questions.

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Discussion Question
Do not give students your home or cell phone
number Youth Minister Jane is working on a
special project with five of her students. They
are all busy people with extra curricular
activities. The project is due in two days.
Youth Minister Jane wants them to report to her
on each step but there is no time to see them in
the day. Can she give them her home or cell
number?
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Keeping Boundaries

• Do not communicate with children/youth from your
  home e-mail address.
• One should always communicate with
  children/youth from ones school or parish e-mail
  address rather than a personal e-mail.

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Discussion Question
Do not communicate with children/youth from your
home e-mail address Example Its a Saturday
and Youth Minister Tom is on his computer working
on a project for the church. An e-mail comes to
him from Jane asking if she should turn her
registration for a youth event in on Monday.
What should Youth Minister Tom do?
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Keeping Boundaries

• If you hire a child/youth to work for you, inform
  your supervisor.
• The reason for this is to avoid any situation of
  impropriety. Think about it. What defense does
  a person have if he or she drives home a
  babysitter and he or she alleges abuse?

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Discussion Question
If you hire a child/youth to work for you
Discuss different possibilities for hiring a
student and the possibilities for boundary
violations.
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Keeping Boundaries

• E-mail and instant messaging are examples of the
  blessing and curse that technology brings.
  Teachers, catechists and volunteers must
  understand that there is no privacy on the
  Internet. The same boundary issues that must be
  respected in oral communication, must be
  respected in written ones, particularly when
  e-mail is involved. Ask yourself

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• How would I feel if this correspondence suddenly
  ended up on the front page of the newspaper or on
  the evening news?

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Ten Guidelines for appropriate use of e-mail

• 1. Never use your home or personal e-mail
  account.
• 2. Always remember you are a professional not a
  child/youths friend or buddy.
• 3. Communicate only about matters that deal with
  school or religious education. Most especially,
  avoid any communication that might be construed
  as having sexual overtones. Do not reply to any
  such e-mail from a child/youth make a copy of
  such inappropriate communication and notify your
  supervisor.

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Guidelines (cont.)

• 4. Write as though you are certain others will
  read what you write. Remember a message can be
  shared with a simple push of a button.
• 5. Remember there is no such thing as a private
  e-mail.
• 6. Do not use instant messaging. Do not put
  students on your buddy list. Remember people
  can make copies of instant messages and they can
  come back to haunt you.

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Guidelines (cont.)

• 7. Ask yourself If my supervisor or anyone
  asked to see this communication, would I be
  embarrassed by what I have written? If the
  answer is yes, dont send the e-mail.
• 8. Remember when you are e-mailing a child/youth,
  you are e-mailing someones child. How would you
  feel if your child received the e-mail you are
  about to send?
• If you think your e-mail might somehow be
  misunderstood, dont send it.

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Guidelines (cont.)

• 9. Remember - boundaries must be respected in
  written correspondence as well as in oral
  communication.
• 10.Finally, e-mail can be misinterpreted. Before
  sending an e-mail, ask yourself if someone
  reading it, might read something into it that
  you didnt intend. Communicate in person
  whenever possible.
• Text messaging with cell phones can cause the
  same concerns as instant messaging (or e-mail) on
  the computer.

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Credits

• This powerpoint was developed with permission
  from
• Mary Angela Shaughnessy , SCN, J.D., PhD. Based
  on her book
• The Law and Catholic Schools A Guide to Legal
  Issues for the Third Millennium
• National Catholic Education Association 2005

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Who to call to report suspected abuse

• Diocesan Victims Assistance Coordinator
• Thomas P. Keaveny, MSW-LICSW
• [phone]
• Diocesan Victims Advocates
• Rev. Tim Baltes [phone]
• Rita Clasemann [phone]
• Nancy Fandel [phone]
• Tom Klecker [phone]
• Rev. Patrick Riley [phone]
• Dolores Sauer [phone]