Psychology 0f Personal Effectiveness All You Need To Know About How To Live Happily

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Psychology 0f Personal EffectivenessAll You Need
To Know About How To Live Happily
EffectivelyTimothy W. Starkey, Ph.D., ABAP

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Chapter 5.
The Art of Coping Gracefully
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Relaxation

• Most people confuse inactivity with relaxation.
  You might say, I DO relax I go home and sit
  down in front of the TV set and watch my favorite
  programs I only get up for a beer.
• The facts are, however, that when subjects level
  of stress while watching their favorite TV
  program is measured by physiological monitors,
  the results show that there is little if any
  reduction in stress while watching TV.
• Passive relaxation, like watching TV, is not very
  effective in reducing stress.
• Active relaxation, on the other hand, has been
  shown to be much more effective. It involves
  becoming aware of your body and your
  physiological reactions so that you may
  consciously reduce your level of arousal.

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Diaphragmatic Breathing

• The key to any practice of active relaxation is
  to relearn proper breathing patterns. Breathing
  slowly, deeply, and regularly is the easiest and
  most accessible relaxation technique.
• Most of the time were unaware of our breathing
  patterns. Lets first begin by discovering where
  you are now
• Sit with your back supported.
• Put your feet flat on the floor and close your
  eyes.
• Place one hand on your chest and the other on
  your diaphragm (the muscle right above your
  stomach).
• Focus on your breathing. Notice the pattern and
  rhythm as you breathe in and out.
• Take a few deep breaths and notice as you breathe
  in and out which hand moves more (usually its
  the hand on the chest)

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The Value of Self Awareness

• All humans have the ability to be more aware of
  our bodily processes and sensations than we
  generally are. We tend to ignore bodily stimuli
  in order to focus more on things outside of our
  bodies.
• We can even learn to become more aware of our
  psychological processes, too. Take mood, for
  instance. How many times have you observed that
  somebody close to you or that you work with is in
  a bad mood or looks depressed. Have you noticed
  that when you first mention this to them, they
  almost automatically deny it and only later
  (perhaps) admit that you were right. This is an
  example of being in a mood but not being
  consciously aware of it at the time (until
  somebody points it out to you).

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Case Example 1. You

• Take out a blank piece of paper and write down
  what your current mood is this morning.
• Fold the paper in half and hand it to the student
  on your left - who will make a sign if he/she
  agrees or a - if he/she disagrees with your
  statement of mood.
• Now give it to the student on your right and
  he/she will do the same and then give it back to
  you.
• Now lets see if your self-awareness of mood
  agrees or disagrees with the impressions of those
  around you.
• IF YOU LISTEN TO YOUR BODY WHEN IT WHISPERS, YOU
  WONT HAVE TO LISTEN TO IT SCREAM.

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Stress Hardiness Attitudes

• Research has revealed that the attitude you have
  at the beginning of a task determines the outcome
  of that task more than any other single factor.
• Self-fulfilling prophecies can be either positive
  or negative, depending on your expectations.
• Studies have shown that there are three attitudes
  that that appear to make people more resistant to
  the negative effects of stress.
• Control
• Commitment
• Challenge

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• People who are the most resistant to stress have
  the attitude that they are in control of their
  lives. They possess what we discussed earlier as
  an internal locus of control. They do not wait
  for fate to lead them in the right direction
  instead, they work to take active control over
  their lives. This same attitude has been
  described as proactivity (Stephen Covey)
• Commitment involves believing that what you do is
  of value and importance. Individuals showing this
  attitude have an optimistic outlook and
  stressors are seen as potentially interesting and
  meaningful. (This reminds me of an old Chinese
  curse May you live in interesting times.)
• Every crisis, no matter how grave, has some
  inherent opportunities. Those who cope with
  stress well are those who look for these
  opportunities and capitalize on them. Those who
  cope poorly get paralyzed by the inherent danger.
• Life is trouble, only death is not. To be alive
  is to undo your belt and go looking for trouble.
  (Zorba from Zorba The Greek)

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What Your Score Means

• Score
  Interpretation
• 10-18 Hardy Personality
• 0-9 Moderate Hardiness
• Below 0 Low Hardiness

Do you agree with this rating of your hardiness?
Why or why not?
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Effects of Hurricane Andrew

• On August 24th of 1992, a Category 5 hurricane
  named Hurricane Andrew struck Miami with wind
  gusts of over 212 mph. It was the second most
  destructive hurricane in U.S. history, and the
  final of three Category 5 hurricanes to make
  landfall in the United States in the 20th
  century.
• Andrew's damage cost totaled 26 billion in 1992
  (45 billion in 2005 US dollars), with most of
  the cost concerning damage in south Florida. The
  storm caused 65 deaths. After the initial shock
  of the unbelievable devastation that had been
  done, especially in the Homestead, Perrine, and
  SW unincorporated Miami areas, the community
  rallied and set to work clearing away the rubble
  and rebuilding where possible.
• Organizations (hospitals), churches, and
  community organizations all worked side by side
  to help the homeless and the injured both
  medically and psychologically. Looting was
  minimal and what there was was quickly eliminated
  by National Guard troops and armed citizens
  patrolling the night.
• It was a test of the character of an entire
  community, and community came together rather
  than fragmenting before the massive devastation
  and loss.

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Progressive Relaxation Sequence

• In 1929, a Chicago physician (Jacobson) theorized
  that physical tension leads up to mental tension
  which further exacerbates physical tension. He
  believed that learning to relax your body should
  promote mental relaxation and lowered stress
  levels.
• Guidelines for using Progressive Relaxation
  Sequence
• Prepare a convenient time and place
• Set up a regular practice schedule.
• Be comfortable - wear loose fitting clothes
• Avoid falling asleep.
• Dont try too hard.
• Allow yourself to let go.
• Keep your minds focus on your breathing.
• Finish your relaxation practice by coming back
  slowly.

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Typical Instructions for Progressive Muscle
Relaxation
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Meditation

• Many people believe that one of the most powerful
  and efficient methods for reducing stress is to
  include regular meditation in your life.
• Some studies have shown that regular meditation
  (6 days a week for 8 weeks) can increase
  activation in a part of the brain associated with
  decreased arousal and increased positive emotion,
  as well as suppress activity in the amygdala,
  which is the fear and anxiety center of our
  brain.
• People who regularly meditate report less stress,
  anxiety, depression, and hostility than do
  non-meditators.

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Attitudes for Mindfulness Meditation

• Mindfulness is the cultivation of awareness by
  practicing awareness.
• Non-Judging
• Patience
• Beginners Mind
• Trust
• Non-Striving
• Acceptance
• Letting Go

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The Practice of Meditation

• Meditation can be divided into techniques which
  emphasize focused concentration on a word, sound,
  image, physical movement or posture, or on
  techniques which emphasize the the cultivation of
  mindfulness or awareness in each present moment.
• Focused concentration - find a quiet place to sit
  in a comfortable position with an erect spine.
  You can then focus on a wide variety of things,
  ranging from your breathing to a word or phrase
  (a mantra).
• Once you have chosen your focal point, you
  simply sit still and bring your attention to it.
  To use breathing as an example, you would bring
  your attention to the in and out movements of
  your breathing, and perhaps repeat the words in
  on the inhalation and out on the exhalation.
  This is basically it in terms of technique. You
  have to guard against letting your thoughts get
  in the way of your focusing.

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The Importance of Stretching Your Muscles

• An intrinsic part of the fight/flight response is
  muscle tension. When muscles tighten, they also
  shorten. One way to reverse the fight/flight
  response is to lengthen the muscles. This is
  accomplished by simply (and carefully) stretching
  your muscles.
• Many people notice that yawning is accompanied by
  an almost instinctual urge to lean back or extend
  ones arms.
• We are very aware of the need to stretch after
  sitting in a car for several hours or at a desk
  for half a day without getting up.
• Massage also has a very beneficial effect on
  reducing stress and inducing a feeling of overall
  well-being.
• Studies with children who suffered Hurricane
  Andrew showed that professional massage was
  effective in effectively reducing levels of the
  stress hormone cortisol and manifest stress the
  control group watched a relaxing video for the
  same amount of time and did not show any
  reduction in cortisol or manifest stress.

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End of Chapter 5
An Actual Photograph of a Greyhound After
Receiving A Professional Massage