Dealing with Difficult People

1
Dealing with Difficult People
Designed by Regina Crews, Secretary of Student
Support Services
2
The Five Types of Difficult People

• The Sherman Tank
• The Whiner
• The Wonderfully Nice
• The Staller
• The Wet Blanket

3
The Sherman Tank

• Who This is the bulldozer who runs all over
  you. This person is aggressive, angry, hostile,
  and belligerent. Everything must be done his way
  or no way. Your first instinct is to choke him.
• What This type puts you down, embarrasses you
  and picks at your personhood. Example You
  offer someone a glass of water and you
  accidentally spill a drop or two on him. This
  person goes into a rage and calls you stupid,
  asks if your mother had any children who lived,
  says you dont have two brain cells that match,
  etc.
• Why He acts that way because he is insecure.
  He feels that he is inferior but will not admit
  it so he must make you feel like the inferior
  one. He feels stupid therefore he will tell you
  that you are the stupidest person on the face of
  the earth.
• How Give this type time to run down. Then
  stand up, state your opinion without anger and
  with a smile on your face. Realize that there is
  only one adult in the room and you are it,
  therefore you must be the one to bend.

4
The Whiner

• Who The Whiner is the spoiled child, the
  complainer, one who is never happy. Everything
  is wrong and nothing is right.
• What Uses the words always and never. Example
  You always leave the dishes in the sink. You
  never come over anymore. Complains in a
  sing-song voice.
• Why This type wants attention because he feels
  powerless.
• How Listen to this person. Decide what you can
  do to change the situation. Do not play the game
  of Yes, but. Turn things around by asking for
  his suggestions - put him back in control, then
  reward, stroke, praise him.

5
The Wonderfully Nice

• Who A great person, outgoing, sociable,
  considerate, and kind. He always says the right
  things.
• What Too wonderful. He makes promises he
  cannot keep even though he has the best of
  intentions. Example Offering to baby-sit so
  you can go to the movies, then never showing up.
• Why This type wants everyone to love him. He
  is afraid of rejection.
• How Help him be more realistic. Reassure that
  person that you like him and realize he cannot do
  all the things he promises. Encourage him to be
  honest about his limitations. Example Say
  You are so sweet to offer to baby-sit for me,
  but didnt you say you had to take one of your
  children to band practice and that your mother
  was coming over later?

6
The Staller

• Who This type can never make a decision. You
  never get an answer from this person. He just
  will not deal with the issue.
• What He ends up promising to give you an answer
  time and time again, but just will not commit to
  a decision. Example You want time off for a
  vacation and ask the boss. He tells you to come
  back the next day. The next day you go in and he
  says come back next week. Next week rolls
  around and he says come back at the end of the
  month. By the end of the month your travel agent
  says the trip is all booked up.
• Why This type is afraid of making the wrong
  decision and he is afraid of rejection.
• How Get him to understand he needs to make a
  decision. Acknowledge the difficult position he
  is in. Make suggestions on how this problem can
  be resolved. Encourage him to make a decision
  and let him know you will still respect him.

7
The Wet Blanket

• Who This type is very negative. He is sure
  that nothing is ever going to work out or change.
• What He uses words like always and never.
  Example You decide to quit smoking by chewing
  nicotine gum and a friend tells you that it will
  never work.
• Why This type suffers from poor self-concept.
  He doesnt want things to change because he would
  feel even more powerless.
• How Involve him in the process. Reassure, pet,
  coax, reinforce, convince him that things will
  work and that change is good. When he says
  things will not work, ask What is the worst
  thing that can happen?

8
All of us become each of these types once in a
while, but we are not these people constantly.
We cannot change individuals so we must change
ourselves and how we respond to these people.
Remember, ask yourself why this person is
behaving in such a manner, do not just respond
the same way. Once you understand the why of
it then you will know how to respond to the
behavior. This workshop was constructed from
a workshop originally developed by Dr. Jane
McMurtry, Counselor - Wallace Community College.
9
Thank you for participating in this workshop.
Please complete and turn in an Academic
Enrichment Summary. If you are viewing this
workshop via the internet please come by the
Student Support Services office to complete an
Academic Enrichment Summary or click on the link
in the directions box on the Workshop page and
print one out or e-mail it to
rcrews_at_wallace.edu so we may document your
participation. Handouts available upon request.
EXIT