Sociology 352

1
Sociology 352

• The Family
• May 27, 2009
• Prof. Brines

2
Five Minute Paper

• In the Second Shift, Hochschild writes that
  instead of a logic of the pocketbook, the
  husbands and wives in her study follow a
  principle of balancing.
• What does she mean by this principle? What is
  being balanced? Give an example from the book
  of a couple who engage in this type of
  balancing.

3
Family Myths

• Hochschild found that more of the younger couples
  in her study wanted to share and believed that
  they shared, but that in reality, they didnt
  wives still did much more of the work around the
  house.
• To resolve this dilemma, many couples created
  family myths.

4
Equality Fictions

• One recurrent family myth The equality
  fiction.
• Examples from The Second Shift?
• Other equality fictions in families?

5
Equality Fictions can be functional

• Inconsistencies between ideals and reality often
  provoke cognitive dissonance.
• cognitive dissonance A condition of conflict or
  anxiety resulting from inconsistency between
  one's beliefs and one's actions, such as opposing
  the slaughter of animals and eating meat.
• People are motivated to reduce this anxiety by
  redefining the situation or changing behavior to
  bring beliefs and actions into line.

6
Other wives and husbands used gender to recruit,
resist or set limits on household work
7

Carmen Delacourt

• Traditional in her gender beliefs I dont want
  to be equal to Frank (her husband). I dont want
  to be equal in work. I want to be feminine. I
  want to have frilly things. I dont want to
  compete with men! (p. 68).
• But Carmen ran a day-care business out of her
  home, and needed as much help at home as any
  working mother (p. 74).

8
Strategies of Incompetence

• Carmen managed the contradiction between the
  desire to keep Frank out of the kitchen and her
  need to have him in it by playing helpless.
• When Frank did help, it was because Carmen
  couldnt do it
• Carmen paid the wrong bills first
• Unable to cook rice properly
• Couldnt drive a car
• In the end, Frank did nearly half of the second
  shift!

9
The Delacourts Family Myths

• Carmen did nearly all the housework Frank
  just helped
• The myth that Carmen was helpless saved her
  pride she was still able to embrace her
  traditionalism without dissonance.
• And Frank could help out as an act of chivalry

10
Economies of Gratitude

• Peter Tanagawa, a transitional man
• His wife, Nina, earned more than he did. Nina
  began to apply subtle pressure on Peter to do
  more around the house.
• Peter did not respond by sharing the housework,
  and was upfront about that fact. What did he
  offer instead?

11
Peters Feeling Rules

• As a transitional man, Peter gift was to
  tolerate the fact that his wife earned more than
  he did
• Only one in a hundred men could take this.
• Peter expected Ninas gratitude now she owed
  him something (like release from the second
  shift).

12
Peters other gift

• Emotional support for Ninas struggles with
  balancing work and family
• Alexandra, their daughter, had no friends at
  school. Nina told Peter, we have a crisis.
  Peter empathized with Ninas anguish. Handle it
  the best way you can, honey Im a hundred
  percent behind you (p. 94).

13
Nina responded by cutting back her work hours

• The Result?

14

• She was moved from her corner office to a tiny,
  windowless space
• One male coworker confessed to her, when you
  went part-time, I realized you werent really
  serious (p. 96)
• She made moves to leave the company, but the firm
  responded with a promotion (involving longer job
  hours).

15
And Alexandras Problem got Worse

• From Alexandras teacher
• Dear Mrs. Tanagawa, I wanted you to know that
  Alexandra has made more friends at school. But I
  have to say other things still concern me.
  Recently I assigned the children a story to write
  and Alex wrote a strange story about killing her
  sister and hating her mother.

16
What Makes Housework Mens Work?

• Hochschild found that of the couples she studied
  who claimed they shared (still a minority), few
  actually did.
• But of the men who did share, she found two
  routes to sharing

17

• Some men seemed to be reacting against a model of
  distant fatherhood (often based on their memory
  of their own fathers) that they wanted to reject.
  
• Others shared not because of a conscious
  decision, but as something they drifted toward
  over time.

18
Involved Fathers

• Have cleared out cognitive room for their
  childrens needs
• Every afternoon, Art Winfield knew his son was
  waiting for him at daycare.
• Michael Sherman knew that around 6 am, one of
  his twins would call out Daddy.

19
Uninvolved Fathers

• did not maintain the same, active cognitive map
  for their kids needs.
• imagined that their wives did more with the
  children than they actually did.
• Example One dad praised his wife for helping
  their daughter with reading on weekends. But the
  mom spent her weekends with housework, church,
  and visiting relatives.