How to Communicate with Difficult People

1
How to Communicate with Difficult People

• Research by Dr. Robert Bransen, author of Coping
  with Difficult People

2
General Information about Difficult People

• Behaviors are habitual
• Only 10 of people are difficult
• This 10 causes over 50 of the stress in work
  situations.
• 7 Major Personality Types

7 Difficult Personality Types

• Clam
• Super Agreeables
• Negativists
• Know-it-alls
• Indecisives

• Hostile-Aggressives
• Sherman Tank
• Sniper
• Exploder
• Complainer

3
Behavior
Hostile-Aggressives Sherman Tanks
Strategy

• Intimidating
• Attack personally
• Based on facts of the moment only
• Impatience to sudden anger
• Interrupt
• Threatening

• Stand up to them
• Dont argue
• Use phrases like
• I disagree
• In my opinion
• When they interrupt, say, Mr. ___, you
  interrupted me
• Prepare to be friendly tanks will change when
  they see youre strong

4
Behavior
Hostile-Aggressives Snipers
Strategy

• Use cover (camouflage) of humor
• Take pot shots at you or others you respect
• Will use 2 Ploys
• Cant you take a joke?
• Youre too sensitive!

• Smoke them out
• Deal with them privately
• Always end with Did you really mean what you
  said?
• For each of the 2 ploys, go back to question
  above.

5
Behavior
Hostile-Aggressives Exploders
Strategy

• Yell, seem out of control
• Adult temper tantrum
• Misdirect anger and frustration

• Look them in the eye
• Let them run down.
• Get facts straight without blaming or taking
  blame
• Offer to help

6
Behavior
Complainers
Strategy

• Blame others
• Have no control over their own lives
• Whine never their problem always someone
  elses
• Anything positive is a result of luck only

• Listen actively
• Paraphrase back
• Dont agree or apologize
• Ask specific questions
• Make them help in solving problem
• What do you want at the end of this
  conversation?

7
Behavior
Clams
Strategy

• Silent, unresponsive
• Confused
• Trying to withhold communication for power
  struggle

• Ask open-ended questions
• Use Friendly, Silent Stare
• Let them know you will follow through on the
  communication

8
Behavior
Super Agreeables
Strategy

• Agree to do, but dont
• Commit to actions they cant possibly do
• Sociable so that youll like them

• Cut through the fluff of compliments and promises
• Offer a win/win compromise quickly
• Help them be honest

9
Behavior
Negativists
Strategy

• Say no to everything
• Pessimistic
• Contagious to others because they tap into the
  despair we all have

• Come back with a positive to their negative
• Dont try to change them theyll never admit
  theyre wrong.
• Build a Horror Floor Whats the worst that
  could happen?

10
Behavior
Know-it-alls Bulldozers
Strategy

• Knowledgeable
• Have the right answer
• Take no other opinions
• Take disagreement personally
• Think they dont need others

• Get them to consider alternative views
• Always paraphrase what theyve just said so they
  wont re-explain
• If you object, do so in the form of a question

11
Behavior
Know-it-alls Balloons
Strategy

• Speak with great authority
• Phony experts
• Little knowledge of facts

• Call them on the facts as you know them
• Give them the opportunity to save face
• Change the subject

12
Behavior
Indecisives
Strategy

• Cant make up mind
• Stall
• Worry about others feelings
• Rarely take stands
• Ask lots of questions

• Find out what keeps them from deciding
• Give them permission to disagree with you
• Give them support when they do make a decision