GENDERED COMMUNICATION PRACTICES

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GENDERED COMMUNICATION PRACTICES

• Communication between men and women can be like
  cross cultural communication, prey to a clash of
  conversational styles Deborah Tannen (1990)

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WOMENSSPEECH

• For Most Women Communication is
• to establish and maintain relationships
• conversation is for sharing and learning about
  others
• Talk is the essence of relationships

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EQUALITY

• Equality between people is generally important
• try and achieve symmetry
• often match experiences
• youre not alone in how you feel
• Ive done the same thing many times
• respond and build on each others ideas
• Rather than you-tell-your-idea-then-Ill-tell-min
  e, voices weave together to create conversations.

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SHOWING SUPPORT

• Often express understanding Sympathy
• Oh, you must feel terrible
• I think you did the right thing
• I really hear what you are saying

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RELATIONSHIP LEVEL

• Focus on feelings
• Focus on relationship between communicators
  rather than content
• often probe to understand feelings
• Tell me about what happened?
• How did you feel when it occurred?
• Do you think it was deliberate?
• Content is dealt with but also feelings involved.

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CONVERSATION MAINTENANCE

• Womens style is conversational maintenance work
• efforts to sustain talk
• often initiate topics for others
• How was your day
• Tell me about your meeting
• Did anything interesting happen on your trip

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INCLUSIVITY

• RESPONSIVENESS
• usually respond in some fashion
• verbally and nonverbally more engaged
• make other feel valued and included

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PERSONAL, CONCRETE STYLE

• Typical of women's conversation are
• personal disclosures
• details
• anecdotes
• concrete reasoning

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TENTATIVENESS

• Verbal Hedges
• I kind of feel you may be overreacting
• Qualifiers
• Im not the best judge of this, but...
• Keep Talk Provisional, Tag questions that invite
  response
• That was a pretty good movie, wasnt it?
• We should get out this weekend, dont you think?

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MENS SPEECH

• Goal of talk is exerting control, preserving
  independence, and enhancing status.
• Conversation is the arena for proving oneself
  negotiating prestige.

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Mens Speech

• General Tendencies
• Use talk to establish and defend personal status
  and ideas
• When comforting, they do so by respecting others
  independence and avoiding condescending

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SHOW KNOWLEDGE, SKILL, OR ABILITY

• Avoid disclosing personal information that might
  appear weak or vulnerable
• e.g., someone expresses concern about a
  relationship with a boyfriend
• The way you should handle that is...
• Dont let him get to you.
• You ought to tell him....

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ADVICE

• Tendency to give ADVICE
• Instrumental - not feeling, but rather what you
  should do
• Superiority - Maintain control
• Men see as give and take, Women as lack of
  concern

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INSTRUMENTALITY

• Instrumentality - The use of talk to accomplish
  instrumental objectives
• Men socialized to do things, achieve goals
• In talk this is expressed as problem-solving,
  getting information, facts, suggesting solutions
• This focus on content works between men
• Show support in ways learned to do so - solve the
  problem.

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CONVERSATIONAL DOMINANCE

• Men tend to dominate conversations - talk more
  than women
• Talk more frequently
• For longer duration
• Select topic of talk

Interrupt more Men interrupt to control
conversation Women interrupt to show interest,
affirm
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ABSOLUTE, ASSERTIVE TALK

• Language tends to forceful, direct, authoritative
• Less use of hedges and disclaimers

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ABSTRACTTALK

• Speak in general terms
• Fewer concrete experiences
• More distanced from personal feelings
• Works best in Public situation where theoretical
  conceptual, talk is appropriate

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LESS RESPONSIVE

• More minimal response cues
• Less sympathy and self-disclosure
• Sympathy seen as sign of condescension
• Personal problems seen as vulnerability

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Talking about Troubles

• Woman disappointed in not getting job
• Man says, You shouldnt feel bad. Lots of
  people dont get jobs they want
• She thinks, he belittles her experience
• He thinks, he is showing respect by bolstering
  her independence

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Talking about Troubles, Cont.

• Man disappointed is not getting job
• Woman says, Are you okay Whats bothering you?
• He thinks this points out his vulnerability
• She probes to show she cares

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RELATIONSHIP TALK

• WOMEN
• Its going fine if there is talk
• Talk is a process to sustain relationship
• Talk is a way to show closeness
• We need to talk, to affirm our caring

• MEN
• Its going fine if there is no need to talk
• Talk is to solve problems
• Talk indicate a problem
• Duck when she say, we need to talk

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GENDERQUESTIONNAIRE

• Men talk more than women. T/F
• T
• Men are more likely to interrupt women than they
  are to interrupt other men.
• T
• Women tend to confront problems more directly and
  are likely to bring up the problem first.
• T

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Questionnaire, cont.

• During conversation men spend more time looking
  at their partner than women do.
• F
• Women are more alert to nonverbal cues than men
  are.
• T
• Groups that use the male style of sticking to the
  task get more work done.
• F
• In general men and women talk about the same
  things.
• F
• Women use less personal space than men do.
• T
• When a man speaks, he is listened to more
  carefully than a woman, even if the presentation
  is identical.
• T

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Questionnaire, cont.

• In general women speak in a more tentative style
  than men do.
• T
• Women are more likely than men to disclose
  personal information.
• T
• In general men smile more often than women.
• F
• Women are more likely than men to answer
  questions that are not addressed to them.
• F
• Women and men are equally emotional when they
  speak.
• T
• Men appreciate jokes more than women.
• T

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THE END

• Based on Julia Woods book Gendered Lives