Interpersonal Communication

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• Chapter 7
• Interpersonal Communication

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The Process of Interpersonal Communication

• Interpersonal communication is an interactional
  process in which one person sends a message to
  another.
• It involves at least two people.
• It is a process involving a series of actions.
• It is not one-way, but bi-directional.

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Components of the Communication Process

• Any communication has the following elements
• The sender person conveying the message.
• The message information conveyed.
• The channel sensory channel used.
• The noise anything that interferes with the
  expression or understanding of the message.
• The context environment in which communication
  takes place.

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Technology and Interpersonal Communication

• Technology has changed the way we communicate
  from a face-to-face context only, to wireless,
  electronic communications.
• Although technology offers convenience, there are
  some disadvantages
• Overlap between work and home.
• Intrusion of private conversations into public
  spaces.
• Absence of non-verbal cues that convey meaning in
  face-to-face interactions.

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Communication and Adjustment

• Communication with others is an essential aspect
  of our lives and has a large impact on
  adjustment.
• Good communication enhances satisfaction in
  relationships.
• Poor communication is a major cause of
  relationship break-ups.

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Nonverbal Communication

• Nonverbal communication is the transmission of
  meaning from one person to another through means
  or symbols other than words.
• A great deal of information is conveyed in this
  manner, so it is important to recognize the
  general principles of nonverbal communication.

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Nonverbal Communication (cont.)

• General principles of nonverbal communication.
• It is multichanneled we use facial expressions,
  gestures, eye contact, vocal tone and body
  language.
• It is ambiguous body language can be difficult
  to interpret.
• It conveys emotions facial expressions and body
  posture can convey how we feel without words.

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Nonverbal Communication (cont.)

• General principles of nonverbal communication.
  (cont.)
• It may contradict verbal messages we may say one
  thing, but our body conveys something different.
• It is culture-bound nonverbal signals vary from
  one culture to another.

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Elements of Nonverbal Communication

• Personal space
• Proxemics - is the study of personal space, or
  a zone of space surrounding a person that is felt
  to belong to that person.
• Preference for amount of personal space depends
  on
• Culture (see Figure 7.3).
• Status of the individuals involved.
• How well you know the person.

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Figure 7.3
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Elements of Nonverbal Communication (cont.)

• Facial expression
• Facial expressions convey basic emotions,
  recognized by people around the world.
• However, there are culture-specific norms, called
  display rules, that govern the expression of
  emotion.
• There are also gender differences in expression
  of emotion, with most males showing less
  expression than do females.

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Elements of Nonverbal Communication (cont.)

• Eye contact
• Duration of eye contact is the most meaningful
  aspect of this channel of nonverbal
  communication.
• Among European Americans, high levels of eye
  contact are associated with effective social
  skills and credibility.
• However, eye contact is judged as offensive by
  other cultures (e.g., Native American tribes).

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Elements of Nonverbal Communication (cont.)

• Eye contact (cont.)
• Eye contact also conveys intensity of feelings.
• In a positive context (e.g., romantic partners)
  long gazes signal loving feelings, but
• In a negative context (e.g., road rage) long
  gazes are interpreted as stares, and they make
  people uncomfortable.
• Finally, eye contact is affected by status and
  gender (see Figure 7.5).

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Figure 7.5
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Elements of Nonverbal Communication (cont.)

• Body language
• Kinesics is the study of communication through
  body movements.
• An open posture (e.g., arms uncrossed and down
  at sides) conveys a relaxed state, whereas
• A closed posture (arms crossed) conveys
  defensiveness or tension.
• Finally, hand gestures emphasize the words we
  speak.

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Elements of Nonverbal Communication (cont.)

• Touch
• Where and whom we touch conveys a variety of
  meanings, especially status and power.
• There are strong norms that govern where we touch
  friends.
• Female-female pairs touch more often than do
  male-male pairs.
• Cross-gender touch is interpreted as support by
  females, but as power or sexual interest by males.

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Elements of Nonverbal Communication (cont.)

• Paralanguage
• Paralanguage refers to how something is said
  rather than to what is said.
• Variations in vocal emphasis can give different
  meanings to the same words.
• Variations in speech also convey emotions (e.g.,
  rapid speech indicates anxiety or excitement).

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Detecting Deception

• Nonverbal cues that actually indicate deception
  are often different from those most people
  believe indicate deception (see Figure 7.7).
• For example
• Liars often say less, not more.
• Liars are not necessarily good story tellers
  and include less unusual content in stories.
• Liars are more tense and make a more negative
  impression on the listener.

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Figure 7.7
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The Significance of Nonverbal Communication

• Nonverbal communication plays a key role in
  interpersonal relationships in the following
  ways
• Although we may not say that we dislike someone,
  negative feelings leak through nonverbal
  channels.
• Accurately reading others emotions is related to
  social and academic competence, even in children.

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Toward More Effective Communication

• Tips for creating a positive interpersonal
  climate
• Learn to feel and communicate empathy.
• Practice withholding judgment.
• Strive for honesty.
• Approach others as equals.
• Express your opinions tentatively.

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Toward More Effective Communication (cont.)

• Conversation skills five steps for making
  successful small talk
• Indicate you are open to conversation by
  commenting on your surroundings.
• Introduce yourself.
• Select a topic others can relate to.
• Keep the conversation ball rolling.
• Make a smooth exit.

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Toward More Effective Communication (cont.)

• Self-Disclosure the act of sharing information
  about yourself with another person is
  important to adjustment for several reasons.
• Sharing problems with others plays a key role in
  mental health.
• Emotional self-disclosures lead to feelings of
  closeness.
• Self-disclosure in romantic relationships is
  associated with relationship satisfaction.

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Toward More Effective Communication (cont.)

• Self disclosure and relationship development.
• Self-disclosure varies over the course of
  relationships.
• At the beginning, there are high levels of mutual
  self-disclosure, which taper off as the
  relationship becomes established.
• In established relationships, disclosures are not
  necessarily reciprocated.

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Toward More Effective Communication (cont.)

• Movement away from reciprocal self-disclosures in
  established relationships occurs for two reasons
• There is more of a need for support, than a
  reciprocal disclosure from the other person.
• The need for privacy outweighs the need for
  mutual self-disclosure.

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Toward More Effective Communication (cont.)

• Culture, gender, and self-disclosure.
• Personal self-disclosures occur more in
  individualistic cultures, whereas disclosures
  about ones group membership are the norm in
  collectivist cultures.
• Females tend to disclose more than do males, and
  this trend is strongest within same-gender
  friendships.

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Toward More Effective Communication (cont.)

• Tips for Effective Listening.
• Signal your interest in the speaker by using
  nonverbal cues
• Face the speaker squarely.
• Lean toward them.
• Try not to cross arms and legs.
• Maintain eye contact.

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Toward More Effective Communication (cont.)

• Tips for Effective Listening. (cont.)
• Hear the other person out before you respond.
• Engage in active listening by
• Asking for clarification if information is
  ambiguous.
• Paraphrasing what the person said by stating the
  speakers main points back to them to ensure you
  have interpreted correctly.
• Pay attention to the others nonverbal cues.

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Communication Problems

• Communication apprehension or anxiety caused
  by having to talk with others is usually
  followed by one, of four, responses
• Avoidance choosing not to participate.
• Withdrawal clamming up in conversation you
  cannot escape.
• Disruption the inability to make fluent
  statements.
• Overcommunication (e.g., nervous speech).

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Communication Problems (cont.)

• Barriers to effective communication.
• Defensiveness excessive concern with protecting
  oneself from being hurt.
• Motivational distortion hearing what you want
  to hear.
• Self-preoccupation being so self-absorbed the
  other person cannot equally participate.
• Game playing manipulating the interaction, or
  concealing your real motives for a selfish
  purpose.

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Interpersonal Conflict

• Beliefs about conflict.
• Most people believe any kind of conflict is bad.
• However, avoiding conflict is usually
  counter-productive and leads to a
  self-perpetuating cycle (see Figure 7.10).
• It is better to confront conflicts constructively
  so that issues can be aired and resolved.

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Figure 7.10
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Interpersonal Conflict (cont.)

• Five types of conflict
• Pseudoconflict false conflict from game
  playing.
• Fact-based conflict.
• Policy conflict disagreement about how to
  handle a situation.
• Value-based conflict disagreement that occurs
  when people hold opposing values.
• Ego-based conflict emphasis on winning over
  resolving the conflict.

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Interpersonal Conflict (cont.)

• Styles of managing conflict
• Two dimensions (concern for self, and concern for
  others) underlie five distinct patterns of
  managing conflict (see Figure 7.11).
• Avoiding/Withdrawing (low concern for self and
  others).
• Accommodating (low concern for self, high concern
  for others).
• Competing/Forcing (high concern for self, low
  concern for others).

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Figure 7.11
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Interpersonal Conflict (cont.)

• Styles of managing conflict (cont.)
• Compromising (moderate concern for self and
  others).
• Collaborating (high concern for self and others).
• While compromising simply involves splitting the
  difference, collaborating involves finding a
  solution that is maximally satisfying to both
  parties.

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Interpersonal Conflict (cont.)

• Dealing constructively with conflict.
• Make communication honest and open.
• Use specific behavior to describe another
  persons annoying habits rather than general
  statements about their personality.
• Avoid loaded words.
• Use a positive approach and help the other person
  save face.

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Interpersonal Conflict (cont.)

• Dealing constructively with conflict. (cont.)
• Limit complaints to recent behavior and to the
  current situation.
• Assume responsibility for your own feelings and
  preferences.
• Try to use an assertive communication style.

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Public Communication in an Adversarial Culture

• Tannen (1998) describes contemporary America as
  the argument culture in which there is a
  growing tendency to take adversarial positions in
  almost any public situation.
• Contributing factors include
• The self is perceived to be an isolated entity.
• Americans tend to see things in terms of
  opposites (e.g., good vs. bad).
• Face-to-face communication is on the decline.
• Desensitization from exposure to high levels of
  physical and verbal aggression in the media.

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Adversarial Culture (cont.)

• Restoring productive public communication
• What Can Individuals Do?
• Tune in to nonverbal signals.
• Create a positive interpersonal climate.
• Be a good listener.
• Overcome the barriers to effective communication.

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Adversarial Culture (cont.)

• What Can Individuals Do? (cont.)
• Practice conflict management skills.
• Parents can help by
• Limiting their childrens exposure to physical
  and verbal aggression.
• Encouraging and rewarding non-aggressive ways of
  resolving childhood conflicts.
• Using disciplinary methods that do not model
  aggressive behavior.

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Developing an Assertive Communication Style

• The nature of assertiveness.
• Assertiveness involves acting in your own best
  interests by expressing your thoughts and
  feelings directly and honestly.
• In contrast, submissive communication involves
  giving in to others.
• Individuals who use this style report feeling bad
  about being pushovers.

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Developing an Assertive Style (cont.)

• The nature of assertiveness. (cont.)
• Aggressive communication is different from
  assertiveness and focuses on saying and getting
  what you want at the expense of others.
• Assertive communication is more adaptive than
  either submissive, or aggressive communication,
  and is a skill that can be learned through
  assertiveness training.

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Developing an Assertive Style (cont.)

• Steps in assertiveness training
• Understand what assertive communication is.
• Dont forget about nonverbal cues.
• Monitor your assertive communication.
• Identify when you are not assertive, find out who
  intimidates you, on what topics, and in which
  situations.

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Developing an Assertive Style (cont.)

• Steps in assertiveness training (cont.)
• Observe a models assertive communication.
• Practice assertive communication by using
• Covert rehearsal imagine using assertiveness in
  a situation that requires it.
• Role playing ask a friend to play the role of
  an antagonist so you can practice.
• Adopt an assertive attitude.