Difficult People and Situations

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Difficult People and Situations

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Tries to avoid conflict by agreeing with everyone, Will bend the truth not to hurt anyone ... ( my sense of humor, my sensitiveness) got to do with...(the budget) ... – PowerPoint PPT presentation

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Title: Difficult People and Situations


1
Difficult People and Situations
2
Tank
  • What is he/she like?
  • Abrasive, domineering
  • What can we do to deal with him/her?
  • Stand up to them
  • Tactfully interrupt interruptions
  • Avoid arguing
  • Show your strength in a non-competitive way
  • Use their name
  • I disagree, but I want to hear more

3
Super Agreeable
  • What is he/she like?
  • Tries to avoid conflict by agreeing with
    everyone,
  • Will bend the truth not to hurt anyone
  • What can we do to deal with him/her?
  • Be personal with them
  • Surface reservations
  • Listen to their humor
  • Dont let them put you off

4
Complainer
  • What is he/she like?
  • Inaction is due to a genuine feeling of
    helplessness
  • What can we do to deal with him/her?
  • Dont say Im sorry or offer solutions
  • Ask questions of them to help them solve their
    problems themselves

5
Know-It-All Expert
  • What is he/she like?
  • Needs to be right
  • Strong belief in their own reality
  • Needs others little, if at all
  • What can we do to deal with him/her?
  • Recognize their expertise,
  • Praise their knowledge and skill
  • Ask questions to have them rethink their
    decisions/opinions
  • Dont contradict their knowledge or challenge
    their ideas

6
Indecisive Staller
  • What is he/she like?
  • Puts off making decisions
  • In perpetual conflict quality vs. not hurt
    anyone
  • If stall, the need for decision will go away?
  • What can we do to deal with him/her?
  • Help them be honest
  • Surface reservations and conflicts
  • Help problem solve
  • Give support for making a decision
  • Ask for a timeline

7
Sniper
  • What is he/she like?
  • Shoots from cover, relies on social convention
    for protection
  • Says as a defense Cant you take a joke? or
    Youre too sensitive!
  • What can we do to deal with him/her?
  • Surface the sniper
  • Deal with them directly in a group
  • Appeal to the group for impressions
  • Make them support their comments
  • What has (my sense of humor, my sensitiveness)
    got to do with(the budget)?

8
Difficult to Resolve Negotiations
  • Atmosphere of anger, frustration, resentment.
    Mistrust and hostility toward other
  • Channels of communication closed or constrained
    criticize and blame other
  • Original issues blurred, new issues, conflict
    personalized. Wont make concessions
  • Perceive great differences in positions. Miss
    commonality and agreement
  • Anger and tension increase, parties locked in
    initial positions. Threats, lies, counter-threats
  • Team members favor their side, minimize
    differences, demand conformity. Autocratic
    leadership, unified front

9
Negotiation Breakdowns
  • Reduce tension and synchronize de-escalation
  • Tension release, acknowledge feelings active
    listening, separation, synchronized de-escalation
  • Improve accuracy of communication
  • Role reversal, imaging
  • Controlling issues
  • Reduce parties, issues, issues in concrete
    terms, fractionalize, depersonalize.
  • Establish common ground
  • Super-ordinate goals, common enemies, common
    expectations, manage time constraints and
    deadlines, reframe others view, build
    integrative framework
  • Enhance the desirability of options to other
    party
  • Yes-able, different decision, sweeten, objective
    criteria

10
Mismatched Models Intentional?
  • Other side is being difficult
  • Everyone at times, but some invariably difficult.
  • Ultimatums
  • Reasonable address it, make sensible
    counteroffers, engage them in joint problem
    solving. Or embrace it agree to ultimatum
    provisionally, subject to qualifying event.
  • Responding to dirty tricks
  • Ignore them, call them on it, respond in kind,
    offer to change to more productive methods
  • When the other has more power
  • Protect yourself, cultivate BATNA, trip wire
    alert, correct the power imbalance

11
Abandoning a Committed Position (or Ultimatum)
  • Plan a private way out, re-word to indicate
    conditions have changed
  • Given what Ive learned from you during this, I
    see I am going to have to rethink my earlier
    position
  • Let the matter die silently
  • New proposal without mentioning other one
  • Restate the commitment in more general terms
  • 10 discount to significant discount
  • If it is abandoned, minimize damage to
    self-esteem or constituent relationships
  • Public attribution to noble or higher cause

12
(No Transcript)
13
Other Types of Difficult People
  • Bullies
  • Verbally/physically attack, use threats, demand,
    attempt to intimidate, push others around
  • Avoiders
  • Physically avoid or procrastinate, hide out,
    refuse to negotiate for fear of losing
  • Withdrawers
  • Emotionally withdraw, get confused, go dumb and
    numb or become paralyzed with fear
  • High Rollers
  • Attempt to shock and intimidate by making extreme
    demands
  • Wad Shooters
  • Assume an all-or-nothing, take-it-or-leave-it
    stance

14
What To Do With Them
  • Use the silent treatment
  • Do the sidestep
  • Meet the enemy head-on
  • Refuse to be punished
  • Ask questions
  • Point out the consequences
  • Get their attention
  • Call a spade a spade
  • Put their fears to rest
  • Insist on playing by the rules
  • Put the ball in their court
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