Title: Difficult People and Situations
1Difficult People and Situations
2Tank
- What is he/she like?
- Abrasive, domineering
- What can we do to deal with him/her?
- Stand up to them
- Tactfully interrupt interruptions
- Avoid arguing
- Show your strength in a non-competitive way
- Use their name
- I disagree, but I want to hear more
3Super Agreeable
- What is he/she like?
- Tries to avoid conflict by agreeing with
everyone, - Will bend the truth not to hurt anyone
- What can we do to deal with him/her?
- Be personal with them
- Surface reservations
- Listen to their humor
- Dont let them put you off
4Complainer
- What is he/she like?
- Inaction is due to a genuine feeling of
helplessness - What can we do to deal with him/her?
- Dont say Im sorry or offer solutions
- Ask questions of them to help them solve their
problems themselves
5Know-It-All Expert
- What is he/she like?
- Needs to be right
- Strong belief in their own reality
- Needs others little, if at all
- What can we do to deal with him/her?
- Recognize their expertise,
- Praise their knowledge and skill
- Ask questions to have them rethink their
decisions/opinions - Dont contradict their knowledge or challenge
their ideas
6Indecisive Staller
- What is he/she like?
- Puts off making decisions
- In perpetual conflict quality vs. not hurt
anyone - If stall, the need for decision will go away?
- What can we do to deal with him/her?
- Help them be honest
- Surface reservations and conflicts
- Help problem solve
- Give support for making a decision
- Ask for a timeline
7Sniper
- What is he/she like?
- Shoots from cover, relies on social convention
for protection - Says as a defense Cant you take a joke? or
Youre too sensitive! - What can we do to deal with him/her?
- Surface the sniper
- Deal with them directly in a group
- Appeal to the group for impressions
- Make them support their comments
- What has (my sense of humor, my sensitiveness)
got to do with(the budget)?
8Difficult to Resolve Negotiations
- Atmosphere of anger, frustration, resentment.
Mistrust and hostility toward other - Channels of communication closed or constrained
criticize and blame other - Original issues blurred, new issues, conflict
personalized. Wont make concessions - Perceive great differences in positions. Miss
commonality and agreement - Anger and tension increase, parties locked in
initial positions. Threats, lies, counter-threats - Team members favor their side, minimize
differences, demand conformity. Autocratic
leadership, unified front
9Negotiation Breakdowns
- Reduce tension and synchronize de-escalation
- Tension release, acknowledge feelings active
listening, separation, synchronized de-escalation - Improve accuracy of communication
- Role reversal, imaging
- Controlling issues
- Reduce parties, issues, issues in concrete
terms, fractionalize, depersonalize. - Establish common ground
- Super-ordinate goals, common enemies, common
expectations, manage time constraints and
deadlines, reframe others view, build
integrative framework - Enhance the desirability of options to other
party - Yes-able, different decision, sweeten, objective
criteria
10Mismatched Models Intentional?
- Other side is being difficult
- Everyone at times, but some invariably difficult.
- Ultimatums
- Reasonable address it, make sensible
counteroffers, engage them in joint problem
solving. Or embrace it agree to ultimatum
provisionally, subject to qualifying event. - Responding to dirty tricks
- Ignore them, call them on it, respond in kind,
offer to change to more productive methods - When the other has more power
- Protect yourself, cultivate BATNA, trip wire
alert, correct the power imbalance
11Abandoning a Committed Position (or Ultimatum)
- Plan a private way out, re-word to indicate
conditions have changed - Given what Ive learned from you during this, I
see I am going to have to rethink my earlier
position - Let the matter die silently
- New proposal without mentioning other one
- Restate the commitment in more general terms
- 10 discount to significant discount
- If it is abandoned, minimize damage to
self-esteem or constituent relationships - Public attribution to noble or higher cause
12(No Transcript)
13Other Types of Difficult People
- Bullies
- Verbally/physically attack, use threats, demand,
attempt to intimidate, push others around - Avoiders
- Physically avoid or procrastinate, hide out,
refuse to negotiate for fear of losing - Withdrawers
- Emotionally withdraw, get confused, go dumb and
numb or become paralyzed with fear
- High Rollers
- Attempt to shock and intimidate by making extreme
demands - Wad Shooters
- Assume an all-or-nothing, take-it-or-leave-it
stance
14What To Do With Them
- Use the silent treatment
- Do the sidestep
- Meet the enemy head-on
- Refuse to be punished
- Ask questions
- Point out the consequences
- Get their attention
- Call a spade a spade
- Put their fears to rest
- Insist on playing by the rules
- Put the ball in their court