Dating,Cohabitation and Marriage

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Dating,Cohabitation and Marriage

• Chapter Eight

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Toward Forming a Union

• Union stable, intimate relationship between two
  people who live in the same household but may or
  may not be married
• Cohabitation the sharing of a household by
  unmarried persons who have a sexual relationship

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Think of

• 1. Your first date
• 2. Your most recent date
• Brainstorm words that come to mind.

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Are any of these on your list?

• Parents Choice?
• Chaperone?
• Public space?
• Privacy?
• Marriage?
• Love?
• Who Pays?
• Getting Dressed Up?
• Sexual Activity?

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• Left off 6-23-03

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Parental Influence

• Not as strong as it once was in U.S.
• Developing nations still strong influence
• Influence declined mid to late 1700s
• Commercial capitalism provided jobs outside
  family farm
• Without property, parents had less influence
  (Children make independent living)
• Marriage age of sons declined, daughters married
  out of birth order

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Rise in Courtship

• Courtship publicly visible process with rules and
  restrictions
• Carefully established social norms governed
  process
• Public meeting places, group setting
• Night visiting, family present
• No privacy until engagement
• By 1800s, role of love (sympathy, understanding,
  not passion) increased

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Anglo-American Courtship(Among Those with
Property)

• Courtship met its demise after 1900
• Migration from rural areas to cities
• Industrial capitalism
• Higher standards of living
• Less need for teens to work, spending
• Longer adolescence
• Child labor laws, HS, need for edu.
• Protected time
• General mobility increased
• Range of choices increased

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Rise and Fall of Dating I

• New system of courtship based on dating
• Young people began leaving home and going out on
  dates
• Placed courtship on an economic basis men
  always paid
• Shifted balance of power from women to men

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Rise and Fall of Dating II

• Shifted balance of power from parents to
  teenagers and young adults
• Responsibility of stopping sexual activity
  shifted to women
• Social sanctions imposed by peers
• Dating became closely connected to marriage

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Rise and Fall of Dating

• Heyday of dating, 1945-1965
• High School and College dating
• By 1960 2/3 of boys and 3/4 of girls had begun
  dating by 9th grade
• All had dated by 12th grade
• Adults alarmed by youth going steady

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Rise and Fall of Dating

• 1970s and 1980s pattern began to change
• Dating system less connected to marriage
• Average age of marriage increased
• Cohabitation became common
• Sharp rise in premarital intercourse
• Socialized in larger, mixed sex groups
• Became less formal

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The Trend Toward Independent Living

• Dating and Courtship model assumed
• Children would live at home until marriage
• Children would help support family with earnings
  until they left home

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The Trend Toward Independent Living

• Increase in independent living aided by
• Children living as singles before marriage
• Growth of individualism
• Increase in divorce rate
• Age at first marriage has risen

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The Marriage Market Metaphor

• Three Components
• Supply men and women seeking spouse
• Like labor market, seeking job
• Preferences what I want preferred
  characteristics of spouse (i.e. education, looks,
  disposition)
• These vary
• Resources what I have characteristics a
• person has which are attractive to
• others

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Also Important to Marriage Market

• Sex ratio number of males vs. number of females
• Propinquity those who are close/within your
  field of vision

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• Video Excerpts
• The Way We Were
• HBO Sit Com

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The Changing Marriage Bargain

• Survey of willingness to marry different types
• Five characteristics
• Women more willing to marry older partner
• Men more willing to marry younger partner
• Women more willing to marry not good-looking
  partner
• Neither women or men willing to marry partner who
  couldnt hold job
• Men more willing to marry partner who earned
  less

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Unmarried White Women and Men Age 19-35
Willingness to Marry Someone with the Following
Characteristics
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Gender Differences in Romantic Love

• Gender differences
• Women use romantic love and practical criteria to
  choose spouse
• Reproductive strategy - valuing support and
  commitment in men
• Men use romantic love and physical attractiveness
• Reproductive strategy - valuing evidence of age
  and attractiveness bearing children

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The Changing Marriage Bargain

• Bargain now includes the preference that both
  spouses will contribute to the family income
• Reflection of
• Greater acceptance of womens work outside the
  home
• Mens stagnating wages
• Rising marriage age

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The Changing Marriage Bargain

• 1950s bargain homemaker and breadwinner
• 1960s specialization model economic
  approach/international trade
• Beckers model (as seen in policy paper)
• Women more efficient at housework and raising
  children Men better at earning money
• Model predicts women search for good providers,
  men search for good homemakers
• Assumed skills were inherent, identical
  preferences of wife and husband
• Model no longer fits well

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Union Formation Summing Up

• None of the conditions of the 1950s remain today
  (among 1st marriages)
• Common to marry later, spend more time searching
  for mate
• Cohabitation acceptable
• Childbearing outside of marriage, much less
  stigmatized
• Both men and women are required to be good
  earners
• Men should take more responsibility at home

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Cohabitation as a Substitute for Marriage

• Substitute for marriage
• For those who do not want commitment
• Men less likely to value commitment
• Postponement of marriage

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Reasons for Cohabitation Cohabitating Women and
Men Under 35 years old
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Cohabitation Summing Up

• Diverse phenomenon
• Most relationships do not last long
• About 1/2 end in marriage
• For whites it is a step to marriage or breaking
  up
• For African Americans and Hispanics more a
  substitute for marriage

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