Chapter 4 Dating and Cohabitation

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Chapter 4Dating and Cohabitation

• Cultural and Historical Background of Dating
• Functions of Dating in the U.S.
• Meeting a Partner
• Dating after Divorce
• Cohabitation
• Consequences of Cohabitation
• Ending an Unsatisfactory Relationship

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Functions of Dating in the U.S.

• Confirmation of social self.
• Recreation
• Companionship/intimacy/sex
• Anticipatory socialization
• Status achievement
• Mate selection

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Relationship ProblemsCasual Daters

1. Communication
2. Lack of commitment
3. Jealousy
4. Other problems sex, alcohol/drugs, etc.
5. No Problems
6. Different Values

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Relationship Problems Involved Daters

1. Communication
2. Other problems sex, alcohol/drugs, etc.
3. Jealousy
4. Time for relationship
5. Lack of money
6. Places to go

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Dating After Divorce

• Over 2 million Americans divorce annually.
• 3/4 of divorced people remarry.
• The divorced who date are 10 years older than
  those dating/marrying for the first time.

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Cohabitation

• 60 of U.S. women who married in the 1990s
  cohabitated before marriage.
• In Sweden, 90 of first marriages preceded by
  living together.
• In Iceland, norm is to have children, cohabitate
  with children, then marry.

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Increase in Cohabitation

• Reasons
• Career commitments.
• Fear of marriage.
• Increased tolerance from society.
• Birth control technology.
• Avoid legal control of relationship. 

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Types of Cohabitation Relationships

• Here and now future plans uncertain.
• Testers test to see if relationship is right for
  marriage.
• Engaged partners are formally engaged.
• Money savers partners live together out of
  economic convenience.

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Types of Cohabitation Relationships

• Separated partners are divorcing previous
  partners.
• Pension partners live with new partner to keep
  health benefits from deceased partner.
• Cohabitants forever live together forever
  instead of getting married. 

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Experience of Cohabitation

• Deciding to move in together
• Couples drift into living together by spending
  increasing amounts of time together
• Rarely is there a decision to live together.
• Money and property
• Most keep money/property separate.

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Experience of Cohabitation

• Sexual values and behaviors
• More likely to have less traditional sexual
  values.
• Higher frequency of sexual behavior than marrieds
  or singles.

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Advantages of Cohabitation

• Happiness happier than noncohabitant singles but
  less happy than marrieds.
• Delayed marriage better to live together than to
  marry at a young age.
• Learning about self and partner.
• Less traumatic ending.

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 Disadvantages of Cohabitation

• Higher depression levels among cohabitant
  mothers.
• Partner most involved may feel used or tricked.
• Some hide cohabitation from parents, which can
  strain relationship.
• Partner may receive no health, Social Security,
  or retirement benefits.

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Considerations in Ending a Relationship

• Consider improving a relationship before ending
  it.
• Acknowledge that ending relationship will be
  painful.
• Blame decision to end relationship on self, not
  partner.

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Considerations in Ending a Relationship

• Cut off relationship completely if you are the
  person being terminated.
• Learn by looking at issues that ended the
  relationship.
• Allow time to heal it takes 12 to 18 months to
  heal from an intense relationship.