TCKs, ATCKs

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TCKs, ATCKs APIs

• Who are we? Where do we belong?

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References to

• David Pollocks and Ruth Van Rekens book, Third
  Culture Kids
• Writings Let Us Possess One World
• Writings The Long Good Bye Honoring Unresolved
  Grief
• AISL Third Culture Pamphlet
• B Phipps SWIFT site under Transitions

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CASE STUDY ONE (ATCK)Jack presents to his GP
with

• Diminished pleasure in activities most of the day
• Irritability with family and friends more than
  he has previously experienced
• Takes regular sick leave from work, feeling ill,
  experiencing headaches, lack of energy
• Experiences a sense of uncertainty,
  indecisiveness about what he wants and difficulty
  making decisions about daily activities
• Feels empty
• Feels worthless, cant communicate with others,
  feels guilty.
• Possible Diagnosis and treatment Depression and
  prescription of antidepressant medication such
  Lexapro

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CASE STUDY TWO (API)Maree presents to her GP
with

• Experiences excessive worry about her job, most
  days,
• Feels likes she has no control over the feelings
  of worry
• Hyper-sensitivity to noises at night
• Has difficulty sleeping
• Feels constantly worried about money
• Feels restless, keyed up, unable to settle to a
  task
• Feels irritable with those around her
• Withdraws from interaction with others
• Possible Diagnosis and treatment Generalized
  Anxiety Disorder and prescription of anti-anxiety
  medication such as Xanax

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WHO ARE WE?

• APIs, TCKs and ATCKs?

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APIS

• When Adults are Posted Internationally they
  experience culture shock but their value system,
  sense of identity and establishment of core
  relationships with family and friends developed
  in the home culture.
• They clearly see themselves as Americans,
  Israelis, Australians, South Africans, Canadians
  or even Texans, who happen to be living in
  another place or culture.
• Their basic sense of who they are and where they
  belong is intact.

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DIFFERENCE BETWEEN APIS AND TCKS AND ATCKS.

• Cross-cultural experiences affect APIs but the
  difference between them and TCKs and ATCKs is
  that the cross-cultural experience occurs during
  the years when a childs sense of identity,
  relationships with others, view of the world are
  being formed.
• APIs may become former international business
  people, former international oil workers, former
  missionaries, former overseas military personnel
  but no-one is ever a former TCK they just grow
  up.

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CULTURE

• What is culture?
• What do we learn from it?
• Why is it important?

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Culture may defined as

• The way of life (values, beliefs, behaviors) of a
  people, passed down from one generation to the
  next, through learning
• People who have something in common
• Author Dr Kohl suggests that we should look at
  culture as an iceberg with surface and deeper
  levels
• Surface culture behavior, words, customs and
  traditions
• Deep culture beliefs, values, assumptions,
  thought processes
• For a group to be cohesive the members share a
  basic consensus of deep culture

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What is Cultural balance?

• The unconscious knowledge of how things work in
  a particular community knowing what is right,
  humorous, appropriate or offensive in a given
  situation.
• The cultural norms needed to gain balance are
  unconsciously taught as they are caught from
  Parents, Community, School and Peers and when
  everyone in a community holds the same basic
  values and customs, each group reinforces the
  next groups instructions.
• Cultural balance gives people a sense of
  stability, deep security and belonging.

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WHO ARE TCKS AND ATCKS?

• Basic definitions
• Those who are spending, or have spent, at least
  part of their childhood in countries and cultures
  other than their own.
• Children who accompany their parents into
  another culture.

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• Comprehensive definition
• TCKS and ATCKS are individuals who have spent a
  significant part of their developmental years
  outside the parents culture. The TCK builds
  relationships to all of the cultures, while not
  having full ownership in any. Although elements
  from each culture are assimilated into the TCKs
  life experience, the sense of belonging is in
  relationship to others of similar background.

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QUESTIONS TCKS AND ATCKS RAISE?

• 1. Which culture are we supposed to catch? Do we
  belong to all of them, none of them or some of
  each of them? Literally where in the world do we
  fit?
• 2. Are we a new phenomenon? No, but this has
  changed due to increased numbers, louder public
  voice and increased significance.

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QUESTIONS TCKS AND ATCKS RAISE?

• 3. How do we gain Cultural Balance? For TCKs
  overall cultural rules often change overnight and
  often the individual members of the 4 basic
  groups (Parents, Community, School and Peers) in
  any given place may hold markedly different world
  and life views.

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A TCKS RELATIONSHIP WITH THE CULTURE IN WHICH
THEY LIVE
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CONSIDERATIONS

• Non-TCKS and adults can fall into one or another
  of these boxes, however TCKs during their
  childhood and formative years are constantly
  changing which box they are in.
• The Foreigner and Mirror categories are
  relatively easy to be in as the individual is who
  they appear to be.
• The Hidden Immigrant and Adopted boxes are
  difficult because what they and those around them
  presume is not what they get both at home at in
  the host culture.

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BENEFITS AND CHALLENGES FOR TCKS AND ATCKS

• Expanded worldview versus confused loyalties.
• 3D view of the world versus a painful view of
  reality.
• Cross-cultural enrichment versus an ignorance of
  the home culture.

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STRENGTHS AND STRUGGLES OF TCKS AND ATCKS

• Cultural Chameleon Adaptability vs lack of
  cultural balance
• Hidden Immigrants Blending in vs defining the
  differences
• Prejudice Less prejudice vs more prejudice (due
  to privileged life style)
• Decisiveness The importance of now vs delusion
  of choice
• Relation to Authority Appreciative versus
  mistrustful.
• Arrogance Real versus perceived.
• Feelings of Rootlessness Where you from? Where
  is home?
• Feelings of Restlessness Where I am today, is
  temporary.

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COMMON TCK CHARACTERISITCS

• May have distinct differences such as external
  characteristics and different perspectives.
• Expected repatriation unlike immigrants.
• Often live a privileged lifestyle.
• May have a strong identity to a system and may be
  more directly conscious, than peers at home, of
  representing something greater than selves such
  as Government, Company, God

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TCKS AND ATCKS RELATIONSHIP ISSUES

• Large numbers of relationships (friends and
  acquaintances)
• Deep and valued relationships superficial,
  still safe, judgmental, emotional, disclosure.
• Effects of cycles of multiple losses on
  relationships
• Many TCKs jump in relationships with both feet
• Some struggle with fear intimacy because of the
  fear of loss. They manage to erect walls, to keep
  anyone from coming close.
• Quick release of friendships
• Refuse to feel the pain of multiple losses. Dont
  like messy goodbyes and refuse to say them.

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TCK AND ATCK DEVELOPMENTAL ISSUES

• Developing a personal identity
• Ongoing relationships are hard to establish
• A sense of belonging is often lacking
• Uneven maturity TCKs can wonder which person
  they are the competent, capable mature self that
  people see or the bungling, insecure, immature
  self that they often feel.
• Identity in a system - fit, dont fit but
  conform, dont fit but dont mind, dont fit and
  want to prove it.

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PRACTICAL SKILLS DEVELOPED BY TCKS AND ATCKS

• Cross cultural skills
• Observational skills
• Social skills
• Linguistic skills

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FOUNDATION BLOCKS FOR CREATING HEALTHY TCKS

• Consider
• Parent to parent relationships.
• Parent to child relationships.
• TCKs perception of parents work.

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HOW APIS AND ATCKS CAN ENJOY THE JOURNEY WITH
THEIR TCKS?

• Set aside special times for family and make
  family traditions
• Build strong ties with the community, relatives
  and friends
• Consider returning to the same home during
  certain holidays?
• Tour when traveling between countries
• Explore and become involved in the surroundings
• Acquire sacred objects

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ATCKS ACKNOWLEDGING WHO THEY ARE

• Jack was an ATCK and Maree a long time API
  however both didnt understand who they were,
  their personal journeys and the effects of
  culture shock.
• They had years of self-doubt and asked, Is
  something wrong with me?
• This lead to years of misdiagnosis and
  mistreatment.

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REMEMBER

• Being a TCK, ATCK or API is not a disease or
  something from which to recover.
• It can be a life healthily enriched by an
  international and intercultural experience and
  blessed with significant opportunities for
  further enrichment.
• For some, however, the challenges can be
  overwhelming, seemingly canceling out the many
  benefits.

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REMEMBER

• The affects of accumulated losses for a TCK
  cause unresolved grief which may make its
  influence felt through many voices such as
• depression
• anger
• withdrawal
• arrogance
• exhaustion
• righteousness
• Be aware and learn to grieve

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REMEMBER

• ATCKs should acknowledge and understand
• Themselves
• Experiences
• Behavior patterns
• Fears
• Losses
• Wounds
• Choices

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REMEMBER

• Above all else, by acknowledging that one is a
  TCK, ATCK or API, a person can find that he/she
  is normal, what ever that means.
• Some of his/her experiences may be different
  from those of others he/she know, but their
  humanity is the same.

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UNDERSTANDING CULTURE SHOCKTCKS, ATCKS APIS

• Stages of Culture Shock
• Pre-departure
• Honeymoon
• Anxiety / rejection
• Adjustment
• Life

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TRANSITIONING TO A NEW POST.

• Remember RAFT (Reconciliation, Affirmation,
  Farewells and Think destination).
• Maintain stability through the transition stage
• Mourn the losses
• Enter the new environment right
• Choose and use mentors upon arrival
• Re-involve yourself in new environment

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CLOSING

• Some people suggest that we dont know our
  culture until we leave it, therefore the value of
  the international experience can lie in
• Learning about another culture
• Learning about ones own culture
• Learning about ones own values and what is
  important.